My son's birthday party?

mistybear11January 13, 2003

Hi ! Haven't been here for a while, been so busy since the new year. I really need your honest opinion on this. Our son is celebrating his 8th birthday and for the first time he has asked to have a party. Since Christmas has just passed and he received many presents, I asked him if he thought that he needed 14 more presents. Because this is the number of kids he would like to invite. All of the boys in his class and a couple of others in the neighbourhood. I asked him what if each child were to bring you no more than 5 dollars and we could buy ONE nice gift with the money. He said that would be fine. Your first reaction is what I need please. Many of these children have been to a minimum of TEN parties averaging $20 dollars per each. Harley(our son) has been to maybe a total of three. The problem is I don't want to offend anyone and I don't want them to feel the need to have to spend MORE MONEY ON YET ANOTHER KIDS' BIRTHDAY PRESENT. I thought this would be a good idea but I can't figure out how to word the message on the invitation. Can you give me your first thought honest opinion. I am hoping to change how birthdays and presents are viewed. This party is important to Harely because he gets to invite so many kids and to have fun in his own home and not for the presents. Thank you in advance for your imput. Linda

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I've been trying to come up with a more consumable way to have DD's parties, because hers is right at Christmas and I was inundated with more toys than she will ever be able to play with.

The problem is the other kids loved picking a present out for her and watching her open them.

My ideas so far for next year:
A book party
A board game party
Teddy bear for charity party
Computer game party

For most of the parties we attend throughout the year, the gifts average $15 each, and feels like such a waste even tho the kids enjoy it. Even DD is starting to see the futility of ever being able to play with all her toys.

Hope this helps!

    Bookmark   January 13, 2003 at 10:49AM
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TREKaren Thank you. Another Idea is to have the children bring a gift of no more than $5 and wrap in any kind of paper and at the end of the day each child would be blindfolded and then choose 1 of the gifts to take home. The problem with this is that you can't buy anything very good for less than $5. And to me that is a complete waste. However it would be fun for all of the boys. Anyway still pondering how or if I will approach this situation. Linda

    Bookmark   January 13, 2003 at 2:14PM
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When my daughter was about that age, we moved a month before her birthday. She wanted a party with her "new" friends. I wasn't too comfortable with the whole gift thing since no one had known us for more than a month. I discussed it with my DD. She was fine with adding "no gifts please" to the invitations. She wanted the kids, cake, and games, not the presents. Would your son be up for something like that?

    Bookmark   January 13, 2003 at 2:50PM
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Unless you are a fundraising group, it's not polite to solicit money. Period.

You said the presents are not important to Harely. Are they important to you? I'm with Duckie in "no gifts please."

    Bookmark   January 13, 2003 at 4:49PM
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IMHO-Asking for money is not very well received. My DS was invited to a party last year that was worded"in lieu of gifts please give money. Sammy is trying to buy a pool table". And from a practicality stand point it makes sense (I have 10 unopened Barbies in the closet from DD various parties) But that was all the moms were whispering about at the party. Several gave gifts and money because their children wanted to pick out a gift.

We have gone to 2 parties that had gifts for charity. One was a little girl DD is friends with who is an animal lover and asked for dog food and items for the local animal shelter. ((Huge Hit!!)) Another brought gifts to give kids at a children's hospital.

Good Luck!

    Bookmark   January 13, 2003 at 4:56PM
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My son's teacher had them each donate $5 for the local food pantry instead of having a Christmas exchange. I thought it was a great idea. (and the kids really were not disappointed.)

    Bookmark   January 13, 2003 at 5:56PM
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I think since it's his first birthday party, you should send out the invitations and let him have gifts to open from his friends. He's only eight and it will be fun for him. I definitely would not mention that you would prefer cash over a gift. If you want to focus more on the party and fun over gifts, be sure you have lots of fun things planned for all the kids to do.

    Bookmark   January 13, 2003 at 6:56PM
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Oh I forgot to tell you about one little girl at DD's party this year. She got my DD a car for Polly Pocket. It was very cool, and she loved watching DD open it. She said, "I picked it out just for you!"

While DD was opening the present, I opened the card. It contained a $5 bill. I said, "Reilley, thank you so much for giving this to my daughter!"

She rolled her eyes, sighed and said, "Oh THAT was my mom's idea."

LOL, and she's only 5!!!

    Bookmark   January 14, 2003 at 7:38AM
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The concensous seems to be to just let him have his presents and I think next year I will write on the invitations (that your presence is your gift) He will be nine years then and maybe he won't want as many boys to join him. Thanks so much for all of your opinions and thoughts and words of advice. I will adhere to them for sure. Linda

    Bookmark   January 14, 2003 at 2:07PM
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