Today is a new beginning (I hope)

wodkaMay 6, 2008

I am a total mess......yesterday I went to the doctor's office for my labwork/checkup and I weighed in at 232 pounds. I am only 5'6", almost 58 years old and have never, ever been this big in my life.

My life has been a roller coaster the last 6 years, and I was doing so good before the spiral. In 2002, a friend and I joined WW, and started a vigorous exercise program that included walking a minimum of 4 miles a day, and alternate days of weights. I lost 47 pounds and felt better than I ever felt in my life. I was 3 pounds from my goal weight of 150 and stopped, thinking I could do it on my own, that I "knew" everything. Right before I stopped, I remember our instructor asking me what was I afraid of, because I kept struggling to lose those last 3 pounds? Shortly thereafter, my husband became seriously ill and our lives were turned upside down. Fortunately, in time, he got well. Then, my father was diagnosed with lung cancer in 2003, father-in-law was admitted to the nursing home with dementia and other illnesses. In 2005 Katrina hit and took away everything we owned - our home, our neighborhood, our friends all moved away, including my walking buddy. Until November, 2007, we lived in a loaned camper trailer and then a dangerous apartment complex until we were able to build a new home, in a new subdivision. Oh, and in the midst of all of this trauma, I dove into menopause.

I don't know any of my neighbors, which are few, because this is a new section of the subdivision. I am disgusted with myself and feel the disgust of others when they look at me. I just need to get started, but feel so weighed down, literally.

I am fatter than anyone I know, and that includes my husband. I have cried while typing this. I got off of my antidepressant in January (thinking it was making me fat) and really don't want to get back on one.

I'm not writing this for sympathy. People suffer every day, and we are fortunate to have a roof over our heads.

My own doctor does not see any reason for concern, thinks I'm relatively healthy. But he's never seen me at a decent weight, so what does he know? My husband says I just need to stop eating, (duh.)

Anyway, I will see how today goes. Please pardon the rambling. If anyone has been as miserable as me and moved forward, please show me the way. Thanks for listening.

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Been there, done that, so I'm here moving forward, offering to show you the way. :)

Seriously, you already know the way, right? You did great at WW once, so you know that you can do it again. You just have to decide to start doing it. I've rejoined WW for the 4th time in my life at 60 and where you are in weight. I'm losing slowly, but surely this time because I WANT to do it - for me - for my health, my self-esteem, and my future.

I also belong to a very kind and caring group here made up of people who are losing by a variety of different plans, but who encourage and support one another on the journey. Feel free to join us at the SS daily support thread. You'll find friends in the same boat as you who will listen and offer encouragement.

    Bookmark   May 6, 2008 at 9:59AM
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milkdud, thanks for such a quick response. Since I posted, I have dusted off an old small unused notebook to journal my meals, and will look for my old WW materials to re-read and hopefully get inspired. I might rejoin WW soon, but want to get my head on straight first, if that makes any sense.

I will definitely check out the SS thread. Thanks again.

    Bookmark   May 6, 2008 at 11:00AM
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Wodka~Just turned 50. I started at 244 & down to 190.5 as of yesterday. It is a slow process & there will still be bumps in the road. There is support though at the SS thread. Milkdud is right when she says that they are all caring people.

I battle depression too. I'm taking medication & still losing the weight. I did stop a bunch of other meds though. With my depression, I'm afraid to stop that med. It still gets to me at times.

I'm in FL & can offer to be there for you at any time you might need a friendly voice. It sounds like you might need one. Stick with it. Things can only get better, right?

    Bookmark   May 6, 2008 at 2:13PM
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Welcome back! Congratulations on taking what I consider to be the hardest step of all -

one step forward!

Your posting and talking with us! Fantastic! Hi - I'm 45, been on and off WW for years. Some are good, some not so good but I keep coming back. Baby steps all the way for me and you can do the same. One more step after this and one day at a time! Please join our group at Daily Support - Milkdud is spot on - we love making new friends. Many of us have faced our own trials in life and pull each other along. I slide a bit and work on holding my weight and then continue - in that sense I keep taking baby steps.

I am soooo happy to read your post. I live in Ottawa, Canada. We are neighbours. No children but one cat - Andy and my husband. Talk to us. We are here for you and glad to read your post. Don't let anyone get you down with your size. They just don't know you. Smiles are contagious and saying hello when out walking builds communities.

Hello! Welcome to our neighbourhood.


    Bookmark   May 6, 2008 at 2:17PM
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yankandtex and mcpeg, thank you both for your warm greeting. I'm looking forward to spending more time here and learning from y'all. Talk to you soon!

    Bookmark   May 6, 2008 at 3:52PM
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Hi wodka and everyone who feels the same way.
I just want to let you know,that only 4 month ago now, I felt the same way. I know how frustrating it can be and just want to tell you to never ever give up. I have actually found a product which I have used and it has helped me to lose weight in a healthy drug free way. Come on girls, no need to be sad and discouraged. I really wish that I can help you with the following.

Something so amazing happened to me, that I simply must share it with the world. Let me start by telling you a little bit about my past. Just 3 month ago, I was a 100 pounds overweight, without self-esteem and completely depressed. Since the birth of my twins (5 years ago) I have tried almost every diet on the market. Some didn't work for me at all and the ones that did always had that ping pong effect. Things got worse, when I decided to go on a "self starving crush diet". That time I lost it all. I was irritated day in and out, super grumpy and I lost all my energy. It seemed to me that, people would stare more then ever at me due all my excessive pounds. My self-esteem had died and I buried myself at home. I didn't have the energy to exercise and soon was diagnosed with iron and vitamin D deficiency. Oh boy, I don't even want to think back anymore. Then one day at the local market, I met an old friend of mine from high school. I tell you guys, he's always been more then chubby and I wouldn't even have recognized him, if it weren't for his approaching me. I found him sporty and very lean. I was flabber gasped.
Anyway he referred me to this amazing web site where you find incredible help on how to shed many pounds in a natural and healthy way.

Today, I am 89 pounds lighter have my energy back and enjoy life to the fullest. I have been able to work out again and have now the killer stomach, hips and butt, that I never thought possible for me anymore. The best part of all is, that once I followed the program precisely, the pounds just seemed to melt away like butter. I never felt hungry nor have I experienced hunger bangs. My energy level equals that of when I was a little girl. I was surprised how simple it all was. By just combining the right foods at the right time, I could actually eat whenever I wanted to and still drop lots of weight. The program had also such a very positive impact on my emotions. I am healthier then long before and have found happiness in every aspect of my life again.

Now I can be super mom again, who doesn't black out, when the kids want to play tag with me. They are also very proud of me and I really think I owed them to become my old self again.

A very close friend of mine almost wanted to undergo a gastric bypass operation and now that she's using the same system then I did, she's been thanking me, for sparing her the procedure.

I want everyone who needs or wants to lose some weight to know, that it is possible. You don't need to put yourself through a risky operation and you don't need to starve. No need to spend so much money on things that don't work or on pills that in the end will make you sick.
I want to leave you with this link to the web page, that has helped me tremendously and permanently. I know what it feels like to feel fat and helpless. I know the agony of trying and trying without success. Please don't get frustrated because there is this amazing simple thing that really works for everyone.
I made a vowel to myself, that if I get permanent results, I'd make this product known to everyone who is as desperate as I was.

For those who give it a try, please leave me a feedback sometimes, because I really would love to know how you are doing and getting along with it. I am also open for questions if anyone needs help.
Take care and God bless...

Here's the web site where I found my help.

Just put it into your browser and you're good to go.

Please let hear from you guys sometime, especially wodka. I wish you the same success, that I had. Believe me it's possible. Never give up hope and remember to stay in touch.

Keryn :-)

    Bookmark   May 27, 2008 at 11:56PM
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