Just a stage

BigMamaFebruary 4, 2004

I'm going through.....or so all my friends are telling me..they are all so patient and I'm so lucky to have them ..

Well I hope I am over my whiny w(b)itch stage....I have been real depressed and down on myself ....I haven't felt good......some kind of stomach virus, two huge fever blisters on my lip...the stop smoking thing and beating myself up for gaining weight...and of course caused by having to stuff something in my mouth instead of a cigarette..and combined with not being able to get my exercise in because I hurt my back I have done nothing but suck my thumb and feel sorry for myself...to the point of being ridiculous...wahh poor little me...I want my food and cigarettes...

As DH was leaving for work this am I was thinking that he is probably ready to scream with my crappy attitude...but he called a bit ago and said..I'm sorry that you are in such pain but I assure you it will pass and I assure you that I love you even if you are being crabby....I think he actually felt it more than it being anything I actually said or did......he called me three times on his commute to make me know that he was thinking of me and that he understands...He quit smoking 14 years ago and he gained 30 pounds over the next few years so he also knows where I am in that respect too.....Arggggg I hate this feeling....

So I am trying to suck it up and get with the program. I managed to get my exercise done this am for the first time in three or four days so I am feeling good about that.I'm going to go and get showered and spruced up extra special today.....I think being house bound with the weather doesn't help....and the worse part is that I am always just one step away from dissolving into a heap of tears..every thing seems to make me teary...again to the point of being ridiculous.....like I dropped a cookie sheet...wahnn poor little me ..I am going to cry.......

I hope I haven't been too whiny...and that you all will forgive me if I have gotten carried away.

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No, you haven't been too whiny! That's what we are here for. To say what we're feeling and to help each other get through each day. When we help each other, we help ourselves.
I just can't imagine dieting and quiting smoking at the same time. But I think you are doing great and WOW, what a thoughtful DH you have!

    Bookmark   February 4, 2004 at 9:10AM
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Well I am not really dieting..just trying to keep from gaining weight more than anything...although losing would be nice. I forgot to mention that I had given up the wellburtin because it was disturbing my sleep at night and I thought I could live easier with out it, but I decided to get back on it for awhile longer at least until I get over this latest hump.....I will just have to do the afternoon nap thing...

    Bookmark   February 4, 2004 at 11:26AM
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Sometimes a good cry relieves stress (it does for me) and then I feel relaxed and tired enough to sleep. Don't get upset further by thinking about your mood swings. Stop beating yourself over the head.

Yep, pamper yourself. Fluff up, sprinkle some nice stuff on, put on some colours and do something nice for yourself today. You are doing great. Keep talking to us. We are here for you. Housebound at this time of year is hard enough. It's okay to feel cranky too - geez - your body is trying to rid itself of toxins...if ya wanna beat something up ask DH if he wants to have a pillow fight, Take a pop can for a walk - literally - kick one around the block and back again before putting it in the trash.

I don't know what it is like where you live, can you get out and do something different? Play tourist - go to a museum, an exhibit or even your library. Pick a topic and do some research - get your mind on something else. Anything you wanted to do this summer that maybe you could focus on now?

Do you have a room in your house that you could spruce up? Maybe hang some new curtains, paint some furniture bright colours, decorate a mirror...find something in a second hand store that you could redo, spruce up and put to use?

Paint your toenails different colours - for no reason except to make you laugh.

Hug yourself. You are a great person and are doing well.

Yack some more to us. Anything in your closets that could be yanked out and recycled? Do you sew? Do crafts? Grab a t-shirt and decorate it.

Get busy. Then when you feel physically tired, take a nice warm bath, relax and you might sleep a little better.

Anyone else have any ideas?


    Bookmark   February 4, 2004 at 2:13PM
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Try the nicotine patch.
I gave up a twenty year, 2 pack a day habit with them. I had no mean-causing-cravings. I didn't gain any weight either.


    Bookmark   February 4, 2004 at 10:27PM
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Hi BigMama,
I understand about the weather. I get out and walk a little, but if you have a bad back---then that is limited also. But, bad weather is a little depressing. Please turn on your lights in the house------I honestly think light helps. Pull the curtains back---enjoy the outdoors. Right now I'm looking out at some beautiful birds outside snacking on some seed and bread crumbs.

Do you have some hobbies? What are some of your interests? Maybe you could work one or two of those in during the day. Your DH sounds really nice.

Hang in there, sweetie. It's tough at first, but it'll get easier. My DH quit smoking using that chewing gum---Nicolette, or something like that. It took him about 4 months----this was several years ago and he hasn't smoked any more. Other times he tried, but went back to them.

Pamper yourself---eat some good snacks---think positive thoughts. You can do it!

    Bookmark   February 5, 2004 at 12:17PM
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(((((((Big Mama)))))))

Give yourself something good and then hop back on the bandwagon. It's hard I know. I've been sick for several days also and it does make it worse.

The smoking thing - I know that is hard too. Before I finally was able to quit I had many people say to me, "I'm addicted to food and I can't quit eating." I want to slap them. They don't know addiction!!!!!!! They don't have a clue!!!! Yes, I love to eat, I love food but it is not anywhere near the same thing as an addiction to cigerattes. Hang in there Big Mama, you can do it! Just get on here and keep talking to us. We'll do the best we can to help.

    Bookmark   February 6, 2004 at 2:36PM
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Thanks all...I was using the patch and taking wellbutrin but they keeps me awake at night and I stopped..however, it was getting so rough that I started them again and I'm doing OK..I got up to 151 and have managed to get back down to 146...so I'm not feeling too bad..

    Bookmark   February 7, 2004 at 6:44AM
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You are the same as I am - I too am 146 hoping to reach about 125 by end summer.


PS Beverly - glad to see your posts too!

    Bookmark   February 7, 2004 at 11:52AM
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BigMama and McPeg, looks like we are close to the same size. I was 149 when I started counting points. I was 138 when I weighed last Wednesday. The sad part is, I was down to 134½ right after the holidays, but I started eating like crazy for awhile there. Thank goodness I'm back in control now!

    Bookmark   February 7, 2004 at 12:06PM
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I'm not far different from you all in weight. I'm 5'2", very small bones, and was 140 lbs. I've lost 5 lbs and I'm so excited! It's amazing what a little loss can do for you!

    Bookmark   February 7, 2004 at 7:23PM
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