Too much sadness lately
I apologize in advance for all this downer news, but it helps to talk about it. I have heard so much sad news lately, although the latest news has really thrown me for a loop.
My neighbor's 34 year old brother (both are doctors) died suddenly of a heart attack. News like this really gets me because my ex-husband's father died of a heart attack at age 46 and I worry that my sons could have inherited this tendency. I did not know the neighbor's brother, but I see the parents coming to visit and they look so lost.
Then I heard the heart wrenching news that the baby of a friend of a friend died of congenital heart failure. What makes this especially tragic is that they lost another daughter, age 3, in a drowning accident just 18 mos. ago. How does anyone survive such loss? They have another daughter and a baby on the way. I hope the new baby is healthy and brings them much joy.
Yesterday I spent the entire day in the ER with my 95 year old mom because she thought she was having a gall bladder attack. Although this was a false alarm and she is fine, it just made me so sad to see her lying on the gurney, wondering how many more years we will have her. I would also like to say NEVER go to the ER alone if you can help it. This is a very fine hospital but I could not believe how I had to watch out for her, with no one checking on her. It was freezing and I had to ask for a blanket. She had to use the commode. I asked for help to get her off the gurney (the rails were up)and it took so long for someone to respond I finally had to help her off the end of it. Jeez, at age 95, when she has to go, she has to go NOW. We were both glad to get out of there.
The very worst news was that of the death of my son's (former?)girlfriend. She was 36 and one of those magical people who had it all (brains, beauty, talent and kindness) and was still a wonderful person. They had lived together for more than five years and she moved out about a month ago. My son was heartbroken. Friends invited him to Maui to help him get through this and while he was there her parents called to say that she had died. She was extremely athletic and went mt. bik-ing in the hills of CA. She was in a remote area when she began to suffer chest pain and called Nine One One. It took search and rescue 1.5 hours to find her by 'copter (by the GPS coordinates on her phone)and by that time she was gone. Her three dogs were by her side. We still don't know if it was heat stroke or heart failure. Everyone who knew her is heartbroken and in disbelief. She was one of the most physically fit people I have ever known.
My son was very close with her family and he is the only person they know who knew anything about N's life and is the only one who can help them. Most of her belongings are still in his house. He flew home right away to help. When I talk to him on the phone, it doesn't even sound like him, he is so sad. His heart was already broken by the breakup and I know he was holding out hope that they would get back together.
I am not going to write her name because I don't want people googling around for info to find this post. There are a number of news articles about the event and I see that info and pictures have been lifted from her Facebook account, which really bothers me. Go check the privacy settings on your account and be sure the pictures you post are only pictures you'd like to see in the paper. N's were all very appropriate but it still feels wrong.
I also found out that my Ex has been on dialysis for the past year, three times a week. For some reason, this was a secret. I feel very bad for him and cannot imagine the impact on his life. I have no idea what the prognosis is for him.
Anyway, all this has made life kind of sucky lately, although it is another wake up call to "seize the day". I am very grateful that my good friends and loved ones are all well and safe, and I wish the same for you and yours.