Can I get a quick 'atta girl'?

jojocoFebruary 1, 2010

Our hockey board, of which I am a member, is having a special meeting tonight to deal with the coach of my 9 year old's team. It will not be pretty. The coach is also a member of the board and will be defensive and most likely, downright nasty to me.

I'd like to say, bring it on, I am in the right, but deep down, I am dreading it. That he is wrong is undeniable--the president has received more calls from other parents about him than with any other team this year. But still, I am the whistleblower and no doubt the coach will direct all his misplaced anger at me. I am also sure the president will not sit back and let him be a jerk. Just to be safe, I'll be sitting between two of the biggest men on the board.

Jo

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blueiris24

You go, Jo! The state of youth sports is a constant lament in my life -- some of the coaches are unbelievable, and bring more of their personal egos to the game than sportsmanship... glad you are calling him on it -- been in similar situations before and it's not pretty, but I bet you have a whole crowd of parents behind you that you aren't aware of cheering you on -- and that you believe you have the backing of the president of the board is a bonus, unfortunately I don't often see that happen either -- I wish more people would come forward like you are --- way to go! :)

    Bookmark   February 1, 2010 at 12:25PM
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lindac

You go girl!!
the biggest sin....wrong that so many commit is NOT speaking up when something's not right.
When good people allow wrongs to happen, they will escalate and change the world!
Sic em!!

    Bookmark   February 1, 2010 at 12:37PM
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sheshebop

Attagirl!

    Bookmark   February 1, 2010 at 12:41PM
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caliloo

Big time Attagirl! Dont let the big jerk intimidate you - and there is no shame in sititng with the big guys ;-)

Go for it!

Alexa

    Bookmark   February 1, 2010 at 12:47PM
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dedtired

Attagirl. I bet there a lot of parents thinking just the same thing, and thanking you for having the courage to speak up. Don't let the bullies win!

    Bookmark   February 1, 2010 at 12:51PM
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lowspark

Attagirl!
And BEST of luck!
It won't be easy but you are definitely doing the right thing.

    Bookmark   February 1, 2010 at 12:54PM
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chase_gw

Big time atta girl from me too...go get him tigeress.

    Bookmark   February 1, 2010 at 2:39PM
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jessyf

Pam has a point...make sure you pack the room with supporters.

Show no fear, he'll sense it. Keep thinking of what your kids will think of YOU for standing up for them.

Does it have to be confrontational? Can you sandwich the blow - 'we love your dedication and how you teach the kids XX, and we'd like to see you help the [non player kids] learn it too. However, if you think there is a better position for you in the league, maybe with a different set of kids who can REALLY thrive under your coaching, perhaps we can look for a better match' etc.

    Bookmark   February 1, 2010 at 3:30PM
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centralcacyclist

Control freaks are never much fun, even when they are in a good mood, darn it. You are absolutely doing the right thing for your child and for other kids in the future. Be firm, have supporters, have your facts in order. Be gracious. Iron fist in a velvet glove.

What is the goal of the meeting?

    Bookmark   February 1, 2010 at 3:56PM
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jojoco

Thank you all, I feel much better. Unfortunately,it will be a closed meeting. Just the board. Jessy, I don't think in my most sugar induced coma, I could say nice things to this man. It has been that bad. So much so that when I tried early in the season to have a team party to help soothe other small issues, he chose not to come and was stupid enough to actually say he had no desire to come in an email. The party went on without our head coach and we had a blast. I think my plan will be to stay unemotional and let him dig his own grave. I have a hunch he will.
We're a small town and my board is small (11 of us). We look out for each other, but mostly we look out for the kids. He will not find much support.
Thanks again. You all rock. I really do mean that.
Jo

    Bookmark   February 1, 2010 at 4:02PM
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dlynn2

I'll be rooting for you. I'm dealing with a similar situation, only our parents don't have administrative support. Good luck.

    Bookmark   February 1, 2010 at 4:08PM
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jojoco

The goal of the meeting is to call him on his blatant disregard for the directives given to him by the coaching coordinator on the board. Basically, if there is a problem with a coach, the board will discuss it and find a resolution. The coaching coordinator (board member) will present the solution to the coach. It is expected that the coach will follow the directives from the coaching coordinator. This coach has been spoken to twice by the board. He has not complied either time. I have backed off slightly in the recent past as he is a hothead and instinct tells me to move back. Also, I didn't want him to take it out on my son or the other two affected kids. But it is hard to cut almost zero playing time in half. That is what this is all about. enough is enough. (thus my plan to sit by the big boys on the board tonight).

    Bookmark   February 1, 2010 at 4:10PM
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Georgysmom

Atta girl! Can't wait to hear the outcome.

    Bookmark   February 1, 2010 at 5:15PM
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doucanoe

Lots of strength coming to you tonight as you face off with this bully. I think your plan is smart...yse he WILL dig himself into a very deep hole!

Good luck! Let us know how it goes.

Linda

    Bookmark   February 1, 2010 at 6:30PM
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lsr2002

Atta Girl! It may be a closed meeting, but we're all here beside you.

Lee

    Bookmark   February 1, 2010 at 7:10PM
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jessyf

    Bookmark   February 1, 2010 at 8:25PM
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teresa_nc7

'Atta Girl! You stick with this - for all the kids who had lousy coaches and didn't get to play. Only once did I ever let one of my boys leave a team mid-season. The baseball coach was toooooo hardnosed. It's a game! It's supposed to be fun! And my son was miserable. With two boys and endless soccer, basketball, and baseball for years, this was the only time one of them wanted to quit.

So you hang in there for all those kids!

    Bookmark   February 1, 2010 at 8:59PM
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petaloid

Good for you -- hope all goes well!

    Bookmark   February 1, 2010 at 9:29PM
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teresa_nc7

So, it is almost 11:00 pm......how did it go?

    Bookmark   February 1, 2010 at 10:42PM
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shaun

Attagirl!!

    Bookmark   February 1, 2010 at 10:44PM
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trixietx

Hope it went well!

    Bookmark   February 1, 2010 at 11:58PM
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vacuumfreak

Jo, I'm also anxiously awaiting to hear how things went today. Hope they went well and the confrontation if any was minimal. Hopefully, this will change his behavior or remove him from the position since people like that can't or won't change.

    Bookmark   February 2, 2010 at 1:40AM
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fearlessem

Thinking of you Jo, and hoping you got some resolution to this issue with as little ugliness as possible...

Hugs,
Em

    Bookmark   February 2, 2010 at 11:32AM
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dlynn2

Shaun, I love the cat!

    Bookmark   February 2, 2010 at 3:47PM
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