atta girl update

jojocoFebruary 2, 2010

Thanks for all your well wishes. It was actually handled in a way to minimize confrontation.

The meeting began as a regular meeting. After a while, the pres went outside with my son's coach (he is a fellow board member). The pres returned a few minutes later alone. Then he told me they were going to discuss it and offered me the chance to update the board on the situation. He also said that the board would discuss the matter without me, after I had spoken. Fair enough. This way, the decision is made without me and is more impartial. I was okay with that. So I gave a factual account of the events, even took some blame because as a board member I should have been able to better prevent the situation in the first place. I ended my presentation by saying that I wasn't asking for equal playing time, but equal development. Because that is what it is all about.

I got a call later on in the evening from the pres. He said they voted to suspend the coach for one game and that the ass't coaches were told to play the three kids who get little playing time at least 3 shifts per period (three periods in a game). In one game, my son and his two teammates will play more than they played in a four game tournament.

According to the pres, the coach was "terse" which means pissed. He was told that the board supports him and just wants him to fix this. His response was that the problem was with just one parent (me). The pres said that they have received lots of call from other parents too.

Fast forward to today. In my inbox is an email from the coach telling the board he is resigning as a board member and the coach.

So that is it. I haven't said anything to anyone or my son because I half expect more drama and people asking him to stay. I am not happy with the outcome because he also pulled his son from the program and that hurts his son. It now looks very me vs. him, instead of it being a case where we could have helped him learn to be a better coach during his first year.

Sorry so long.

Jo

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centralcacyclist

I'm sorry about the outcome but not surprised given your previous descriptions of his temperament.

It opens the ways for better things to come. Hugs.

    Bookmark   February 2, 2010 at 9:00AM
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jessyf

Whew.

Good teaching moment for your kids as well.

    Bookmark   February 2, 2010 at 9:04AM
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lowspark

Some people simply never outgrow the "I'm gonna take my ball and go home" method of behavior. It's definitely unfortunate for his son, not only because he is being pulled out of the program but also because he is learning how to handle situations like this in the future by watching his dad.

Since the board effectively backed you, it's clear you're in the right. It's still a very tough situation.

    Bookmark   February 2, 2010 at 9:20AM
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sally2_gw

Well, Jo, I'm behind you 100%, but I understand how this is not the outcome you wanted. I hope it works out for the best in the long run. It's a sad situation.

Sally

    Bookmark   February 2, 2010 at 9:45AM
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momj47

This is a good outcome.

Sadly, his son has already learned the father's bad habits, he has to live with his father every day. This won't matter much to the son except that he can't play hockey now. That will be a disappointment, he may eventually (though not likely) understand how his father was at fault.

It's good for the team, the stress is gone, now they can get on with playing hockey and having a good time.

    Bookmark   February 2, 2010 at 10:18AM
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lindac

You knew it would be this way....he can't "change". To do so would be to admit that he wasn't the "best coach ever".
Wonder what he's going to tell people was the reason for quitting? My money is on "personality conflict"!
Good that he and his bad attitude are no longer coaching the kids.
Linda C

    Bookmark   February 2, 2010 at 10:39AM
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Georgysmom

I think it's a good outcome...shows his true colors. If he was a great coach, he'd be open to constructive criticism. There's always room for all of us to learn something no matter how good we are at anything.

    Bookmark   February 2, 2010 at 1:23PM
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shaun

Wow. His poor son. Look what he's teaching him.

    Bookmark   February 2, 2010 at 4:51PM
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ArabellaMiller

I'm just sorry you suffered through most of the season with this jerk. Stinks for his kid, but that's probably the least of the poor kid's issues with a dad like that. He showed his true colors for sure.

Who's going to coach through the end of the season?

    Bookmark   February 2, 2010 at 4:57PM
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KatieC

Too late for the attagirl, but.....Attagirl! Isn't it a shame that the guy's kid has to suffer, but you did the right thing. I hope your next coach 'gets it'.

    Bookmark   February 2, 2010 at 6:49PM
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beanthere_dunthat

Unbelievable how some peopel think they are the center of the universe and have such a "my way or the highway" mindset. The kids are better off without that.

And I think you are very smart not to say anything just yet. Keeps you out of the drama.

    Bookmark   February 2, 2010 at 7:01PM
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dedtired

Whata childish response from the coach and what a poor example for his son. Godd riddance to him. I do understand how you feel and I know it's not what you wanted but that was his choice, not your's.

Atta girl!

    Bookmark   February 3, 2010 at 11:43AM
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vacuumfreak

I'm glad he's not going to be affecting the kids anymore. His ego really shone through now! Sorry, it didn't turn out the way you wanted it to, but maybe it is the best for everyone concerned.

    Bookmark   February 3, 2010 at 12:04PM
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Tracey_OH

What a mess. All this drama about a children's sports team. When my boys (12&8) started playing sports, it was quite eye opening. Grown men acting like the kids were playing in the world series instead of 7/8 year old baseball. Part of the reason my DH usually coaches. Anyways, good for you for taking a stand and sticking to your guns. Hope they have a much better end of the season.

    Bookmark   February 6, 2010 at 9:25PM
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