Feeling very low- sad start to the New Year
OK, I thought I'd be OK to post this but I'm starting to tear up even now. I came home from working the breakfast shift on New Year's Day to find my dear little Mischief kitty passed away in the hall outside my bedroom door.
We knew this day was coming as she's been fading for the past two or three weeks, not surprising as she was 18 with health issues. She went off her food, not very interested in eating, though Christmas Day DD spent a lot of time hand feeding her slivers of turkey. Generally even if hand fed she would only eat two or three bites at a time then lose interest. I had some special high calorie cat food from the vet's that you syringe into the cat's mouth, which I was doing, but Missy wasn't very thrilled with this (no surprise).
She had got very thin and the last morning was clearly struggling before I went to work. In a way it was better that she pass on her own as otherwise I would have had to take her to the vet's on the 2nd and I know what he would have said.
It was so hard (and still is). DH offered to come home from the city but I thought it silly for him to do a 200km trip as he would only have been able to stay an hour or two anyway. So I buried her myself in her favourite spot in the garden. I think that's the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
The house seems so empty now, as I've put away all her stuff- her blanket on the couch, the little stepstool that she used to get up to the couch, her dishes in the kitchen, her scratching post and litter tray. Suddenly there is all this space where Missy isn't :-(.
I keep expecting to see her, looking at her spot on the couch, looking to see her at the window looking out when I come home, waiting at the door to dart out as soon as it is opened. Even going to the loo is weird because often she would follow me down the hall as if to say, Yes, that's a good idea, I think I'll visit my litter tray while you're in there :-)
I also thought I'd done my crying but here I've been sobbing after every paragraph.
I know we'll get another kitty when we're ready, but I do miss my little soft pettable cat so very much, even though she had such a prickly personality. She was very dearly loved
Thank you for listening.