The difference between North and South (Friday funny)

calilooJanuary 29, 2010

My MIL (who is a Steel Magnolia) just sent this to me....

The Difference Between North and South Explained

The North has Bloomingdale's; the South has Dollar General.

The North has coffee houses; the South has Waffle Houses.

The North has dating services; the South has family reunions.

The North has switchblade knives; the South has .45's.

The North has double last names; the South has double first names.

The North has Indy car races; The South has stock car races.

North has Cream of Wheat; the South has grits.

The North has green salads; the South has collard greens.

The North has lobsters; the South has crawfish.

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The North has dating services; the South has family reunions.

That one cracked me up!!!!!!! hahahaha!!!!

    Bookmark   January 29, 2010 at 1:54PM
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Bumblebeez SC Zone 7

I'd like to say it ain't true...but it is. Our tiny little town just opened the fourth Dollar General.
We also have lots of other dollar stores too!
I am always asking Dh, who shops there instead of Wal Mart?

    Bookmark   January 29, 2010 at 2:04PM
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OK, I'm gonna catch he!! for this, but I was told that the difference between North and South was that in the North the girls said "you can", but in the South the girls said "YA'LL can". (grin)


    Bookmark   January 29, 2010 at 3:01PM
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Hee hee!!!!!!!!!

    Bookmark   January 29, 2010 at 3:24PM
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Hey! I resemble that remark!!! LOL! Some of us can laugh at those comparisons, because we know y'all are talking about the tacky Southerners - not us. Surely y'all aren't talking about moi?

Teresa, a member of G.R.I.T.S. - Girls Raised In The South

    Bookmark   January 29, 2010 at 7:17PM
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At least at a family reunion you know the girl or boy's background. It is on the same branch of the family tree as you are!

    Bookmark   January 29, 2010 at 8:24PM
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This is one someone sent DH. He asked me how many were true. I said, "All of them."

1. Save all manner of bacon grease. You will be instructed later how to use it.

2. Just because you can drive on snow and ice does not mean we can. Stay home the two days of the year it snows.

3. If you do run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in the cab of a four wheel drive with a 12-pack of beer and a tow chain will along shortly. Don't try to help them. Just stay out of their way. This is what they live for.

4. Don't be surprised to find movie rentals and bait in the same store.

5. Do not buy food at the movie store.

6. There is nothing sillier than a Northerner imitating a southern accent, unless it is a southerner imitating a Boston accent.

7. Get used to hearing, "You ain't from around here, are you?"

8. People walk slower here.

9. Don't be worried that you don't understand anyone. They don't understand you either.

10. The first Southern expression to creep into a transplanted Northerner's vocabulary is the adjective "Big ol'", as in "big ol' truck" or "big ol' boy". Eighty-five percent begin their new southern influenced dialect with this expression. One hundred percent are in denial about it.

11. The "proper pronunciation" you learned in school is no longer proper.

12. Be advised: The "He needed killin'" defense is valid here.

13. If attending a funeral in the South, remember, we stay until the last shovel of dirt is thrown on and the tent is torn down.

14. If you hear a Southerner exclaim, "Hey, y'all, watch this!" stay out of his way. These are likely the last words he will ever say.

15. Northerners can be identified by the spit on the inside of their car's windshield that comes from yelling at other drivers.

16. The winter wardrobe you always brought out in September can wait until November.

17. If there is the prediction of the slightest chance of even the most minuscule accumulation of snow, your presence is required at the local grocery store. It does not matter if you need anything from the store, it is just something you're supposed to do.

18. Tornadoes and Southerners going through a divorce have a lot in common. In either case, you know someone is going to lose a trailer.

19. Florida is not considered a southern state. There are far more Yankees than Southerners living there. We're not too sure about Maryland either. And Texas is it's own region.

20. In southern churches you will hear the hymn, "All Glory, Laud and Honor". You will also here expressions such as, "Laud, have mercy", "Good Laud", and "Laudy, Laudy, Laudy".

21. You can ask a Southerner for directions, but unless you already know the positions of key hills, trees and rocks, you're better off trying to find it yourself.

22. If you hear music from your neighbors house, join in on the chorus.

23. If you are a woman with a flat tire, don't worry - someone will be along shortly to change it for you. This is the South and we don't let our womenfolk change flat tires.

24. Yes, we do have garbage pickup twice a week here.

25. While you didn't realize it, the National Anthem does end with "Gentlemen Start Your Engines!"

26. However you did it in the North is of no concern to those of us in the South.

27. Flannel shirts can be considered formal wear in the wintertime.

28. Those nice white buildings on the street corners, across from the convenience stores, are called churches! Pick one and attend.

29. Learn to play softball.

30. Learn to eat watermelon. Seed spitting is optional but distance is a virtue.

31. You have 10 days to get your Alabama tape, Bear Bryant Cup and learn all of verses to "I'll Fly Away" after establishing residency. Get your drivers license when you get time to do it.

    Bookmark   January 29, 2010 at 8:56PM
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Bumblebeez SC Zone 7

I'm just glad to know others don't consider Maryland and Florida "South". I've lived in both places and no way!

    Bookmark   January 29, 2010 at 9:42PM
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LOL! Love it!

    Bookmark   January 29, 2010 at 9:55PM
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The most "southern" place I've ever been was Jacksonville, FL. The rest of FL feels like the north, except Miami.

Years ago my aunt was traveling in the south, stopped for lunch and asked what was the soup of the day. The waitress told her "bane soup". I think it took five minutes to figure out it was "bean soup". They all had a good laugh.

I wish we had Waffle House here. I'm glad we have Bloomies.

    Bookmark   January 29, 2010 at 10:37PM
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    Bookmark   January 29, 2010 at 11:18PM
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I hate to tell ya'll, we don't eat crawfish, we eat lobster.

We are also going to the Daytona 500 on the 14th.,not that I want to but DH does since we will be in the area. I would rather take the money for my ticket and go shopping, but I will go and have fun. I will.

We don't eat collard greens, but we love Dollar General. We wouldn't have anything in our town with the population of 2500 if we didn't have Dollar General.

    Bookmark   January 30, 2010 at 12:50AM
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While Texas is definitely its own region, it is still part of the south, based on the descriptions above. I know from experience that whenever I had a flat tire, all I had to do was stand beside the car looking helpless, and very shortly someone would stop and help me change it. In Texas, you don't have to be a woman for this to happen, as many women in Texas change their own tires, and so men have to help teenagers like I was on my way to school in order to get the sense of fulfillment by helping someone. I was always very appreciative of this and missed it when I moved to California.

    Bookmark   January 30, 2010 at 1:32AM
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Personally, I think east Texas is southern, but it's such a big state that that it's almost as if El Paso and Austin are in two completely different regions.

I'm glad to be from the south, but I do know all to well it's one of the last groups people think they can pick on with impunity. When I lived in California, I could not believe some of the things people would say to me. I had a manager once who, in response to my saying I'd never seen a partiuclar item before, said "I'm not surprised. Plumbing's pretty new where you're from." After several of those comments -- always in group settings -- I finally had it out with him.

    Bookmark   January 30, 2010 at 2:18AM
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Love the list, BTDT! We might want to deny some of them, but in our hearts we know them to be true. It's just like the old rule of no white or patent leather shoes before Easter or after Labor Day - we laugh about it, but we do follow it. Not to would just be tacky!

I get to meet and visit with quite a few foreign visitors in my job and often they will tell me they enjoy coming to our area because everyone is very friendly and hospitable. I think Australians especially feel comfortable here. Our French associates were a little stand-offish at first, but now feel like part of the family and I really enjoy seeing them at the office. Yesterday I felt the call to help an Italian designer change his plans to avoid problems due to the snow at the PTI airport in Greensboro. He decided to drive straight through to Charlotte to catch his flight to LA this evening than stay overnight in G'boro and fly from there to Charlotte----maybe.

    Bookmark   January 30, 2010 at 9:04AM
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Bumblebeez SC Zone 7

I think of Texas as West.

    Bookmark   January 30, 2010 at 11:05AM
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Teresa, we know who we are, don't we. LOL

    Bookmark   January 30, 2010 at 11:07AM
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Yes, we do, Karen! And we can make fun of us just as well as the rest of the country. If you can't laugh at yourself now and then, you are in a pretty sad situation. I think we talk slow to fool people into thinking we're not too bright. When actually we do most everything slow and languorous because of the heat and humidity. LOL!

Besides, we know we're residing in God' chosen land. A saying here is: North Carolina must be the fairest land that God made. Why else would the sky be Carolina blue?

    Bookmark   January 30, 2010 at 11:26AM
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Alexa, bless your heart.................

    Bookmark   January 30, 2010 at 6:58PM
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bumblebeez, I also think of Texas as "West".

If it helps, Renee, people don't hesitate to make fun of Midwesterners either. I was told that people from either coast think all Midwesterners are hicks. I agreed that we all probably are.


    Bookmark   January 30, 2010 at 10:43PM
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I dont think Midwesterners are hicks I envy your life style I just couldnÂt take your weather. I was born and have always lived in Ca. I donÂt know if what they say about us is true or not but even I think most of Ca. is pretty pretentious and a little wacky. LOL


    Bookmark   January 30, 2010 at 11:51PM
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I was in Alabama some time ago. The company I was meeting with sent a lady driver to pick me up at the airport.

On our way, there was a traffic jam because of some accident ahead.

I said, "I hope I would not be late to the meeting."

She said, "Relax, you are not in New York anymore. People here dont mind."

All of a sudden, she exited the highway and started to go into a dirt path towards the woods.

"Where are we going?"
"This is a short cut. Gosh, you are so tense."

A few more turns deep into the woods, she pulled over to a small cottage.

"What are we doing?"
"Oh, I thought I would show off my new hunting cabin to you since its on our way."
She turned around and grabbed a riffle from the back seat.

I said to myself, "I should have checked her I.D. at the airport. I think I am going to die today."

Long story short, we did get to the meeting not too late, and I had a good lesson in hunting and in Southern hospitality.



    Bookmark   January 31, 2010 at 2:34PM
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Bumblebeez SC Zone 7

Dedtired, north Florida is still Southern, - roughly Gainesville and above- but the rest is not.
I need to get a life for even replying to this. How sad.

    Bookmark   February 1, 2010 at 11:11PM
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"Scuse me, y'all, but Texas is South. We are in the SOUTHwest, not the WESTsouth. And everything on caliloo's mother-in-law's list pertains to Texas. And what's a Bloomingdale's, an upscale Dollar Store?
Y'all have a nice day, and lots of collards and grits for supper.

    Bookmark   February 2, 2010 at 8:16AM
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LOL everyone!

I didn't mean to start a battle over which geographic areas are the "South"... I just thought it was an amusing little list from my MIL who was born, raised and always lived in the South. And I think all areas of the country get made fun of in one way or the other - I live 10 minutes from New Jersey and there isn't a state that gets made fun of more often than NJ LOL!

Anyway - glad some got a giggle and no, I didn't intend to offend.......


    Bookmark   February 2, 2010 at 8:29AM
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Bumblebeez SC Zone 7

I don't think anyone's offended, it's all fun!
If there's anything to get offended over, we can start in my state, South Carolina, over the confederate flag still flying in the state capitol.

And on the back of a bazillion pick-up trucks.

    Bookmark   February 2, 2010 at 8:56AM
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