Why can't we all just get along? :-)

PKponder TXMarch 17, 2013

I've noticed more than the normal amount of friction lately on the forum. I would love to see everyone be a bit more tolerant of one another's opinions and ideas.

None of us are 100% correct or incorrect all of the time. It takes a rounded base of talent (experience and knowledge) to really make a successful forum that offers free assistance to a wide range of 'customers'. I think that this is a great forum and it makes getting help easy for many GardenWeb users. Sometimes the best tool for helpers is the ability to listen to what our poster is asking and interpreting what that really means :-) It's also harder than actually resolving the issue.

We all have very different styles in the way we assist and because of that each of us may develop a 'following' of posters who want a specific helper to answer the question. Sure, it may delay the resolution if that person isn't monitoring the forum, but that is the poster's prerogative. Most of us have full lives outside of the internet and just can't get here every day.

Finally, although we may all have different styles, I would love to see less antagonism toward each other and our posters. I was brought up to believe that if you can't say something nice (or at least neutral) maybe you should resist the urge to hit the submit button.

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steve_fl

Very well put pkponder-!

    Bookmark   March 17, 2013 at 7:48PM
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exgm

An interesting observation.

Though an occasional visitor only, one of the reasons I return to this forum (and other Gardenweb forums) is the general upscale level of maturity on it, likely combined with intelligent moderation. There are the usual veteran members who post good advice and try to help folks out.

I used to frequent many, many forums only to watch then descend into complete (insert negative connotation here) matches, and then gave up completely because of what a pointless exercise it had become.

I think that (besides the state of the world in general), the whole computer demographic has changed somewhat with the computer becoming much more of an "appliance". Therefore expectations are somewhat changed from what they used to be. (I can make that statement based on what I'm seeing as a service tech on the job.)

Fortunately I work with some very qualified people who are much more likely to explain why they will or will not agree with you, rather than get into a yelling match. Hopefully this concept will prevail here and the trend you mention is only a minor aberration.

    Bookmark   March 17, 2013 at 8:01PM
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SnidelyWhiplash

"people who are much more likely to explain why they will or will not agree with you, rather than get into a yelling match. Hopefully this concept will prevail here..."

Exactly.

To simply disagree with another person's opinion isn't a personal attack. It's too bad, some here don't understand that. Giving reasons for a disagreement is enlightening for all, including the "giver", who might learn that his/her assumptions or info is wrong.

For pk with her peaceful posting complete with nice emoticons:

Sorry for repeating what I'd said in another post, but I believe asking a specific person to respond to a forum question is considered quite rude. Gardenweb provides a means for people to send emails. A public forum is for public conversations, email can be used if a private conversation is desired.

    Bookmark   March 17, 2013 at 10:44PM
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PKponder TX

Snidely, what if the poster can't figure out how to send a private email to a member?

...I'm just saying that some of the folks who ask for help here might not be able to suss that out.

Patience grasshopper :-)

This post was edited by pkponder on Sun, Mar 17, 13 at 22:57

    Bookmark   March 17, 2013 at 10:56PM
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owbist

what if the poster can't figure out how to send a private email to a member?

...I'm just saying that some of the folks who ask for help here might not be able to suss that out.

I discourage anyone from using the private email when seeking help.

There are two reasons for that, first is that lurkers are then denied the chance to perhaps learn something.

Second you then only get one opinion. Asking for help in an open forum offers the opportunity for more than one line of thought on the issue. Particularly when you read some of the very vague questions asked which are often not backed up with relevant details of the computer or program for which help is sought.

    Bookmark   March 18, 2013 at 6:30AM
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DA_Mccoy

There is a tremendous difference between an exchange of ideas with their differences of opinion versus acting all-knowing and superior, or being condesending, rude, sarcastic, and mean spirited.

DA

    Bookmark   March 18, 2013 at 7:51AM
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mxyplx

10-4, DA, yup that's a big Roger 4 on that, like I mean 42 doncha know

Well written non-pullable post; says much with little.

    Bookmark   March 18, 2013 at 9:40AM
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grandms

If all posters will stick strictly to the question(s) posed by OPs without any editorializing, there would be few, if any, problems.

    Bookmark   March 18, 2013 at 3:09PM
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