the Discouraged Decorator.....Me!

PurplemoonJanuary 15, 2011

I usually have plenty of enthusiasm for my decorating, but right now I'm thinking Valentine's might get dumped. ;o( I was over a week later than planned getting my Christmas decor down and packed. And I've managed a little bit..very little...of winter decor, ONLY because I really wanted to get my cardinals out since they missed Christmas this year. But now Valentines is just around the corner and I don't know if I should forget it and leave my winter stuff out thru Feb. Its not like there's much to pack away, but my frame of mind more suits winter than Valentines.

I'm hoping once you guys start decorating for V., and by browsing our Val inspiration album some (link attached by the way in case you want to also) I'll get some spirit back to pull out the pink 'n red.

Since I haven't gotten out to go anywhere since early Dec, not even GW which is very close to my house,

I indulged myself and did a bit of online shopping. I looked thru antique and vintage things on and found this unique rabbit candle holder. I paid too much, but I really wanted him!!

Then had this lovely porcelain Nativity set that grabbed me. Such beautiful colors, and well done I thought. It is a 10 pc. set. I took two close-up photos for you to see the detail of some of it. I was the only bidder, so got it for $7. Shipping was high, but its a good-sized set and weighed a lot. Plus they bubble-wrapped the heck out of it for safety.

Anyway, since I saved so much money not getting out to the stores like Michaels, Home Goods, and Hobby Lobby for the big holiday months....I decided it wouldn't hurt to spoil myself on two things I really wanted.

This week has really been a long one, with STILL trying to get the paperwork from all the doctors in order for Dad to go into the care place. He SHOULD have been admitted a week ago, and I was so sure he'd have gotten in this past week!! At least a home nurse comes twice a week to tend his (feet) bedsores, but that's just not enough.

I'm so exhausted mentally, and physically, I can't do this much longer with him needing constant care. I hate feeling this way! I WANT to be able to take care of him.

I probably shouldn't be whining hto y'all about things! My best friend of TEN yrs just recently dumped me over this! She said " I have too many problems, that I don't listen to her advice, I don't DO anything to help myself, and I just enjoy being miserable". And also said I think "the world revolves around just me".

Whew....ok. I never saw this coming! Her advice generally didn't work for my problems, and I would always explain why, but it irritated her anyway. We've always talked about EVERY thing, and she has a LOT of problems herself that I never minded listening to. (Strange as it sounds, I've been her only friend, as she chooses to live a pretty isolated life.) We were so close, for so long, and seemed like twins most of the time in things. We were sisters of the heart, "family" to one another. So this was a bit of shock that I suddenly don't have my best and dearest friend in my life any longer.

Not " feeling the love" of Valentines right now. LOL.

hugs, Karen

Here is a link that might be useful: our Valentine inspiration album

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Karen, I didn't do V Day last year either, was too exhausted from all the divorce stuff with my son & gkids.

It's OK to skip it, really!

Whatever you feel up to. I know how exhausted you are, I know how emotionally & physically draining it is & then the stress of the doctors & their paperwork with their "hurry up & wait" attitude.

You know my feelings on that "friend", so won't repeat them here.

Write me anytime!

I spent the entire day watching basketball & now feel guilty.

Our Big Ten network carried 4 Big Ten games today & I just finsished watching all of them.

My son told me to not feel guilty, I work all day everyday & should be retired!!!!

But I still do & that is how I'm made up, I guess.

Take care, write me if you want to talk.


    Bookmark   January 15, 2011 at 10:37PM
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I can't believe your BF dumped you when she knows what you are going through. Stay positive and remember what goes around comes around. When she comes back crying shut the door in her face and hope it hits her. Maybe this will be enough to knock some sense into her! Just kidding, but this is not the way a BF should act.

Wait till OA reads this. She'll get them little butt kickin' Cabbage Patch girls out to take care of You still have us and we LOVE YOU and won't turn our backs on you.

Neat bunny candle holder and love your nativity set. So happy you found these to lift the spirit up. I just put away my snowmen today. Seems like it's been a long winter and we could have alot still ahead.

Take care and things always have a way of working out. Once Dad gets into the Care of others it should help your mental state alot. Life shouldn't be this stressful.

Oh back to winter or Valentines decor. Do what your little heart desires. I'm not quite ready for Valentines yet either. Wait till you see my table I set tonight.


    Bookmark   January 15, 2011 at 10:44PM
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Gosh, Karen. I honestly don't know what to say. You have been on a fast train these last few weeks. So many of us have been where you are right now and understand how emotionally AND PHYSICALLY exhausting it can be.

I'm was so sorry to hear about the additional problem with your friend. I wish all of us (forum people) were closer so we could all come over and give you a little rest.

Well, Miss High and Mighty might have crossed you off her short list, but you're never going to be off ours.

Try and get some sleep.

    Bookmark   January 15, 2011 at 10:55PM
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You did find some beautiful things Internet shopping, purplemoon! That Nativity set looks so serene, love the soft tones used in the finish...lovely. And, yes, that rabbit candleholder fits you to a tee! Glad you found some goodies.

I am really sad to hear that your Dad's referral papers are not taken care of! This seems totally irresponsible!!! If you have any other help available each day, please ask for more...whether anyone listens, I don't know, but it won't hurt to ask for more help!

Hugs to you, Karen...this part of life's journey is one of the toughest...& you've had your share (& more!) of tough battles. As OA said, we're here for you. Hugs, Jeanne S.

    Bookmark   January 15, 2011 at 11:59PM
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Thanks for all the caring. I've been beating myself up over losing a special friendship, and wonder if I should try harder to keep my problems to myself. But then, I thought BEST friends were always there no matter what.

Anyway, I sure don't want to be the person she described me as, or be a whiner here. And I will try really hard to deserve your friendship.
hugs, Karen

    Bookmark   January 16, 2011 at 12:44AM
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Karen... I Agree COMPLETELY with what's been said here by everyone.
I guess this is a perfect example of the saying 'Fair Weather Friends'..
I've always felt...I'd rather be ALONE with myself...
than to have a HYPOCRITE for a Friend!
So, consider this 'Friend' as someone who 'Used You' to suit HER NEEDS..but really wasn't capable of GIVING Anything of HERSELF - to help YOUR NEEDS!
Hang in best you can. The paper work WILL go through and ALL will be taken care of. You will then have complete peace of mind. Dad will be taken care of, and all will fall into it's proper place.
As far as Valentine's Day..heck, it comes Every Year..enjoy what makes you happy at the moment.
Recently I found myself starting - then stopping, from doing decorating and tablescapes....just haven't had it in me this yr...too much on my plate. I've come to terms that I can't beat up on myself for it, and it's not healthy.
As hard as it is, I have to keep reminding myself, this will pass.
Please Karen...Keep that in mind for yourself too.
Remember 'We're Here' for you, if not in person..ALWAYS in offer any support we can. Remember, the 'Bus' is always 'Ready To Roll'..
By the that Bunny Candle Holder and your New Nativity is just Beautiful.

    Bookmark   January 16, 2011 at 12:47AM
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I don't recall your ever "whining" here! Instead ever helpful, maintaining your holiday books for us and making us feel good with your compliments and comments on our efforts.
Seems to me that you would be a perfect best friend! Boy, sometimes people really disappoint us, don't they? Sounds like your "friend" didn't really understand you but even so it's sad that she said goodbye at a time like this. Well, we're here to listen and help you if we can, long-distance! When Dad gets squared away you'll feel better, believe me. We just can't do everything, no matter how much we would like to.

- Magpie

    Bookmark   January 16, 2011 at 2:36AM
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I have not been here long, but have always enjoyed your comments and pics. I have not been blogging a year yet, and I KNOW I am not going to do V day or St. Pat's. Just not my interest. If we all did the same thing, and if we HAD to follow rules, this would not be any FUN anymore. This should be the one place for everyone to have FUN.

As for the friend, a lot of people are out of sorts this time of year. Chalk it up to her NOT you, and move on. Bet she'll be back sometime.


    Bookmark   January 16, 2011 at 8:32AM
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Karen I am truly sorry for the problems you are dealing with.
I can't print what I think of your friend! How could you go through something like this and not talk about it with your 'best' friend?
Jeanne is right you should ask for more help. Twice a week is not nearly enough.
Valentine's Day will come and go quickly, If you don't feel up to decorating, don't. Come here to see what everyone is doing and that should lift your spirits a little.
The bunny candleholder and Nativity were great finds! I hope they brightened your day.
I know how drained you are...Your friends are here for you even if all we can do is listen.

    Bookmark   January 16, 2011 at 9:23AM
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Karen, you really scored on both the bunny candleholder and that lovely nativity! Love the soft colors of the nativity and it looks beautifully painted. And I noticed the bunny has the long ears and looks like a jack rabbit--and know you love those.

Waiting anxiously to hear the paperwork is done and your DD is all settled in--although I'm sad they won't let his precious little dog come visit him. ;o( I'm hoping that will allow you to relax more and just unwind from all the responsibility of being on call to help him all day and all night. That's a hard thing no matter how much we love the patient, and it sure can take a toll on our minds and bodies.

I won't go into what I think about that "friend", you've already heard what my feelings are on someone who can't at least listen when a friend needs to "vent" a bit. At least you know this group "cares" and we look forward to hearing your comments, and seeing all the things you find to share with us. There's not a one of us that can be "up" all the time--life just doesn't seem to work that way!

Hang in there! Lots of prayers being said on your behalf, and this rough time won't last forever!


    Bookmark   January 16, 2011 at 1:36PM
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There is another pretty Nativity on right now and I'm trying to tell myself I certainly do NOT need it!!! Do NOT!! But its the white and gold that I love so....starting bid is just $5 (shipping is $17). A 12 pc set. Its just soooo tempting.

In all fairness to my former best friend, maybe 10 yrs of me just wore her out. LOL. We emailed every single night, since she lives out of state. She lives in pain with back-neck problsm, so she was always understanding of my Fibro issues. For a long time I've really had nothing interesting to chat about as things here are the same day after day. (we both always used the 'SSDD' abbreviation over the years in our subject line when things weren't going well. "Same S**t, Different Day. LOL) But I could never chat about my shopping finds as she thinks there's nothing but junk in thrift shops. Her passion was QVC on TV and buying expensive things. "Quality" stuff as she says. Since I don't get out of the house very often, I am kind of boring. LOL. I really hope she finds another friend, and not be so isolated from people. Its not good for her.

Well, I'm going to just wait till the end of the month and see if I can get motivated for Valentines. Otherwise it stays packed another year. A tiny voice tells me maybe I should see if my DD or DDIL want it but I'm not sure NOW is the best time for me to make decisions to get rid of stuff. Heck, the way my brain feels, I wouldn't trust myself with ANY decisions at the moment. LOL. Zombie mode!

You guys are the BEST.
heart hugs, Karen

Here is a link that might be useful: pretty Nativity set

    Bookmark   January 16, 2011 at 3:47PM
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Karen - I found that during my darkest days with my husband it was the internet community that gave me the greatest comfort. Sometimes those who we feel should be closest to us, friends and family, are too close to the situation to see things objectively. I am so sorry to hear that you have lost a friend (I hope it is only temporary) but you do know you have friends here ((hugs)). As for getting into the 'spirit' - I think we have all been there. There is always next year or the year after. Right now your main focus is your welfare and that of your dad - you have a full plate. We will be here whenever you need us :) .....


    Bookmark   January 16, 2011 at 3:58PM
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Well, all I can say about that BF is... Nope, Thumper's mom said if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all!!
With everything you have been going through plus the holidays on top, I am amazed at all you have been able to do this past holiday season.
You are one of the most positive people on this forum and if you occasionaly share some of your problems, we are more than happy to listen and share some of your load if only by encouraging words! I would never view you as a whiner, and I would say that "friend" was just using you.
When you needed her support, she wasn't there for you. She only wanted you to support her.
I am constantly impressed by how you take the time to visit everyone's post and comment. You even find items for others and share the links to help them if they want the items!! You are one of the most giving, caring people I know although it is only through the internet, LOL. With all we have in common, you could have been my sister. I never had one, although I do have a brother.
I'm so upset for you right now, I just cannot believe how selfish that other person could be!!

As you can see, all of your friends here are lovin on you right now, and we will support you, even if it is only by sending you positive thoughts and messages.

BTW, great finds. I always feel better with a little retail therapy. I think you should get the gold and white nativity also, if you want it. After all, that is the reason for the season.

Please continue to be your wonderful, supportive self and if you need some encouragement, don't hesitate to ask!!

Even your sign off, HUGS, says what a thoughtful, caring person you are!

So, HUGS right back at ya, and know your friends here will continue to be here for you!

Big Hug,

    Bookmark   January 16, 2011 at 4:29PM
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Marlene Kindred


I'm hoping that you are "feeling the love" here! For heaven's sake lady...YOU are not a whiner in the least! You are always encouraging others and lifting them up. It's about time we did the same for you. You have been going through SO much and it is such a physical, mental and emotional drain on you. I am so sorry that your friend took this opportunity to turn her back on you. People can sometimes just be too wrapped up in getting their feelings hurt, that they just can't see what the other person is going through.

You know we love you Karen and I hope you know that your GJ family and your Holiday family are real and here for you whenever you need us! And, please give yourself permission to rest a while...if that means no decorating or just a little decorating this Valentine's Day..then so be it. Get out just one of your favorite things and let that be it for this WILL be okay.

As for your Dad...I know how long it takes sometimes to get things rolling and I hope that this will be the week for his move to happen. Trying to cope with the guilt of letting them go and still trying to do all that's necessary to get them the care they need is sometimes just too much to carry around. I totally understand...been exactly where you are....

Sending lots of hugs (gentle ones) your way and keeping you in my prayers dear friend!


    Bookmark   January 16, 2011 at 4:54PM
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Karen, so sorry you are down. Hang in there! Good thoughts and prayers for you!

    Bookmark   January 16, 2011 at 5:46PM
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Those great buys should perk you up at least a little. As for the "blues", they happen, thank goodness you have your forum friends for inexpensive therapy. Things will brighten up soon, I just know it.

    Bookmark   January 17, 2011 at 9:13AM
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Can you do me a favor and pass a note to your "friend," from me.
Dear Karen's "Friend,"
Maybe she didn't want advice. Maybe she just wanted someone to listen.

    Bookmark   January 18, 2011 at 12:35PM
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Sign my name to Nancys note as well please.

You've been under an enormous amount of pressure in itself and the emotional toll to boot. In the instances I've endured such things, you always advise me to "take care of myself, it's important", now at this time, I'm reminding YOU to do the same thing my friend.
It's not easy by any means but getting your Dad settled in where you know he has full time and competant care will undoubtably take a big weight off of you and as hard as we make it to ourselves, it's better for the person in need if we realize we do need help sometimes. If you wear yourself so thin you can't help him or yourself, it's NO good to anybody.
Give yourself permission to r-e-s-t!, and be as it may , decorate or don't decorate. There's no written rules that says it must be done for every instance. I promise , you will be forgiven. :)

    Bookmark   January 18, 2011 at 6:30PM
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Oh Karen....I am so sorry you are having even more problems. I don't have any words of wisdom, so I am sending hugs and special blessings to you.

    Bookmark   January 19, 2011 at 1:39PM
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How are you doing?

    Bookmark   January 27, 2011 at 7:12PM
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Nancyjean, thank you for asking. I'm afraid there's been no change. I'm still dealing with a multitude of problems trying to get Dad admitted to care/rehab center. The lady handling all the paperwork either up and quit or got fired,
a new lady came in and can't find stuff or solve issues without talking to the Director, who's been out sick. I'm frustrated beyond belief.
And yes I checked into two other places, one is $9000 a month!! The other was $6000. We just can't pay that kind of money. This place I want has a great reputation and is far more affordable, plus a friend's MIL has been there for almost a year and they are very pleased with it.
The very last alternative would be to deal with the VA, which I would rather not do if possible. So I am hoping and praying things get settled and Dad gets into where we
planned for him.
He's doing ok, home care nurses come twice a week to tend the bedsores on his feet and ankles. Plus two other days a week his home care guy comes to bathe him. I'm real tired of having folks come in 4 days each week tho. But I am trying to take things one day at a time now, last week I was getting real upset over all the delays and causing myself some health problems with stress. There's just no time (or energy) for me to be sick.
Anyway, I'm "hanging on and hanging in". LOL, not that I have much choice.

hugs, Karen

    Bookmark   January 29, 2011 at 2:03AM
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Karen, I am so sorry this is taking so long!! The stress must be awful. Having people in your house 4 days a week has be wearing you out. Is there someone who could stay with your Dad for a few hours so you can get out for a little while? A change of scene can do wonders.
Sending prayers and lots of (((((HUGS))))) your way.
Sometimes a hug is the best medicine.

    Bookmark   January 29, 2011 at 9:09AM
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