OT where is Karen

nana2010_gwJanuary 12, 2013

We haven't heard from you much.
Hope you are feeling okay.
Did your DGD and DGGS get in for Christmas?

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I was just going to post tonight, when I saw this. Thank you, Nana. You are so sweet.
I haven't abandoned H.F. But have just been lurking each night. I really need to stop that, and comment on your posts so you know I'm here tho. I haven't had anything to post myself, and been trying to put some distance between me and Christmas!! Didn't really enjoy any of it this year.
(and I feel terrible saying that knowing that Luvs faced her first one without her beloved Rich. I know her's was
painfully difficult and I have no business whining about mine. Luvs, I apologize in advance for my whining.)
My pre-Christmas post, about having holiday blues, pretty much let you all know what was going on with me. Two months of a terrible depression prior to C., which thankfully is over. But I just never got into the holiday spirit at all. My BFF had talked me into decorating, she was going to help like last year, with the unpacking and packing back up. That is a huge help, and saves me a lot of leg pain and "cripple" days with the Fibro. Unfortunately things didn't work out, she could only come over one day and helped me empty just the big Christmas closet. So I did all the rest. Then she couldn't be here to
help repack, so that took me a solid week to do. :o( This is the FIRST year I didn't enjoy all my things, and that sure stunk. It didn't help that NONE of my family, except Mr Oblivious, ever saw it either. Every year my daughter and her 2 little girls see it, and Jason with his wife and 3 kids also. But they all were just too BUSY to find time to drop by apparently!!! (bear in mind both live 5 MIN. from me!) So this didn't help my frame of mind at all. The only people who saw my decorating was 2 of my close friends....and of course you guys thru my photos. All of you made me feel good with your compliments and kind comments. (my oldest son and his 2 grown kids added to my little pity party, tho they were all in CO where he now lives. I normally just get all of them gift cards, but this year I wanted to do something special. I spent a long time putting together each of them nice family photo-books from Shutterfly. I was really excited about it too. They all love pictures but none of them had family albums with OLD photos (and current) in them. And they'd always enjoyed looking thru my own when they came over. So a week after C., I STILL hadn't heard one word from any of the 3. I finally emailed my grand-daughter and asked her if the package made it there ok. My son and grandson never check emails. She emailed back the next day and said yes, they opened them C. morning and spent a long time going thru each other's and LOVED them! Gee, nice to hear that....not nice I had to actually ASK. I still have heard nothing from my son or his son at all. No thank you, no Merry Christmas, no nothing. :o( Pity Parties are very successful when you feel unloved and unappreciated.
My grand-daughter who lives in Ala, and has the baby, was originally coming for 10 days. Dec 19 to the 29th. I was very excited about that visit and having her for C. for the first time in several years. Well her plans changed. :o( Tho she did make a fast trip the week before C. and stayed for 4 days with her Mom. And I went over every day to spend time with her and my great-grandson, who'd just turned 6 months. He is the HAPPIEST baby, and will go to anyone...with a huge smile on his face! Love him to pieces! (she'll be back with him in Mar for a friend's wedding, another short trip but at least I'll see him again fairly soon.)
I really wasn't 'up' for going to our family Christmas Eve gathering, but since I missed (my first ever) Thanksgiving one, figured I better go. It wasn't big this year, we had 7 adults and several children missing. My oldest son and his two in CO. The others missing were close family friends who always join us. But actually a smaller, quieter gathering was kind of appealing with my 'blues'. A few days before, I was feeling much better and started looking forward to it afterall. So Christmas Eve, 5 pm just as I was walking out the door to head to my daughter's, the phone rings....It was my cousin in Ala. He called to let me know my dearly loved, very special, Aunt (his mom) was dying of cancer! She had been diagnosed just a few weeks before, and it was so wide-spread, she was already in hospice care at her home and he was staying there with her. This just totally blind-sided me. She has always been the healthiest person, and very active despite her age. I would talk to her once a month usually and had planned to call C. morning. Needless to say, I was fighting tears and disbelief when I went to my DD.(and had to tell her and Jason the bad news).
So, I've just been kind of wanting to not think about anything to do with Christmas. I come here each evening and read your posts and enjoy your pictures, but haven't felt like 'chatting' much. And while I always LOVE seeing all your decorations and ideas, I seem to have lost total interest in my own! I'm pretty sure my Valentine/St Paddy's stuff will not see the light of day, but hopefully by Easter I'll be back into it. Otherwise I have a LOT of cute bunnies that will be needing new homes. (seriously). But even if I don't decorate, rest assured I'm not leaving this Forum and will stay on the cheering squad for all your neat stuff !!
Nana, aren't you sorry now you asked? LOL, you got a lot of whining and complaining, and a book-length version at that. My apologies to all who've waded thru this. But to end on a GOOD note.... ;o)
My great-grandson, Bransen at 6 months old, with my daughter's Christmas bears. In a little rocking chair that's almost 90 years old!

and my DAD, also at 6 months old, in that very SAME rocking chair!

Love you guys, and thank you for caring...not to mention the joy you give me daily!
hugs, Karen

    Bookmark   January 13, 2013 at 8:31PM
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First of all, thanks Nana for asking about Karen.
Karen, I didn't post to this on purpose earlier in hopes
that you would see it and respond. Don't ever feel bad
about what we think. We care so much and I for one
believe it helps to talk about what is going on in our lives.

I think its so sweet of you to be thinking about our
Dear Luvs. But that's what BFF do. So sorry to hear about
your DAunt. We will never have answers but it
doesn't stop us from questioning what takes place.

I'm so glad to hear your still checking in here daily.
I think our HF is so important for all of us for so
many different reasons. I know I was having withdrawls
for awhile during Christmas when I couldn't find an
extra minute in my days to come here and enjoy.

The pictures of DGS and your DD in that same rocking
chair are priceless to say the least. You are so
Special and it hurts knowing your hurting DF.

Love, Punk

    Bookmark   January 13, 2013 at 9:18PM
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Karen ...I'm glad to hear that you are so-called 'lurking' ...that's a terrible term used for this!! LOL!

...and I just want to say that I am VERY HAPPY that you got to get your hands on that precious lil' Gr-Gr'son ... he is adorable! & I recognized those 'bears' & that 'rocking chair.' Yes, life just goes by so very fast & our families are caught up in their own whirlwinds ~~ but, you are loved by many...don't forget that! Hugs, Jeanne S.

    Bookmark   January 13, 2013 at 11:16PM
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Karen, you know it always grieves me when you are so down. You never need to apologise to me, your feelings are very personal and can't be locked away just because someone else may feel bad too.

Love the two pictures of the little ones in the rocker, how special that is! ;o) I'm glad he will be back in March, gives you something special to look forward to.

I've wept a bit every day since I lost DH, but I've also found reasons to smile. We had lots of years together and so many good memories to treasure. I felt especially grateful that I was able to care for him and keep him home where he felt content. This past year gave me time to really realize and show him just how very very much I loved him. Just have to add that we should all treasure our moments with loved ones and take lots and lots of pictures. We collected pictures of DH and my son put them all on dvds so we can play them on the tv. I've watched mine so many times, what a treasure they are for reminding us of happier times.

You have so many wonderful decorations. I sure enjoyed seeing your Christmas decorations. Didn't realize that wasn't ALL of it! LOL So sorry your friend wasn't able to help more. I do hope the two of you will get to have lots of time together this year, good for both of you.

Our families often get so wrapped up in their own lives that they forget that their parents may just be wishing they would stop by for a few minutes. Their perspective is so different from ours--but someday when their children are grown and out, they will realize how we must have felt! I can remember being at my grandparents when I was young and seeing my Grandmother pace the floor looking out the windows waiting for some of the "kids" to show up on Sunday afternoons!

With that said, I do have to add that my son and family have been so thoughtful of me during these holidays. I spent allot of time at their house and felt very loved. They were a great diversion from my sadness and feelings of lonliness knowing I have to face the future without my DH.

Nana, you are such a sweetheart for noticing our Karen wasn't posting. What a special group of ladies we have on this forum!


    Bookmark   January 14, 2013 at 12:17AM
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Luvs, thank you for posting what you did. You sound just like Jason did those first years after he was burned! Everyone was worried about complaining about any kind of pain around him, and he kept saying no one's should be hidden or compared to his. You and he have such huge hearts, and wisdom.
I knew you would feel so sad and lost with Christmas, and haven't known what to say or do to help you. Especially when I've been such a ridiculous mess. I also knew your son would be taking good care of you, and your young GD would put smiles on your face. Children at Christmas just naturally do that. I'm so glad you have them right there close! Hope you are doing a lot of hugging on your two beautiful Goldens, I know those dogs sense your sadness and want to comfort you. Dogs are like that, thank goodness.

Its wonderful how we can see pictures on our computers and TVs thru the wonder of technology! That is definitely a blessing I think.

Speaking of pictures, I use the old Photobucket and had sized Bransen's down close to Dad's, but I see it posted huge here. ??? Sorry about the size, not sure what happened. Its smaller in the album it seems.

Jeanne and Punk, thank you so much for all you said. Means a lot to me. Sure wish I'd done some winter decor to share in the fun with everyone. But I packed all my cardinals and everything up with Christmas. For some reason this year I actually wanted the house back to 'normal', blah and boring. Like me, LOL.

hugs, Karen

    Bookmark   January 14, 2013 at 12:36AM
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luvs ... hugs & more hugs to you ~~ you are a blessing. I agree what you said about photos ...& isn't it a wonderful world we live in now where we can take so many, pick & choose & now you have photos of your hubby's life on a dvd...I just loved reading that...thank you for sharing.

purplemoon ... your gr'gson's pic is the same size as your Dad's on my computer ... wonderful pics!!! And may the new year bring on some better days for you.

So I am going to post one here of a couple guys that made my Christmas special, too ~~ little ones as such a blessing (big ones, too). The pic will be 'large' I am sure cause I'm using the optional upload file above.

Hugs, Jeanne S.

    Bookmark   January 14, 2013 at 2:02AM
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Karen, I'm so sorry that you are still struggling with depression.
We do worry when we don't hear from you.
I love seeing Bransen sitting in the same rocking chair that your Dad sat in.
Luvs I know what you are going through. It's good to know that you can find reasons to smile.
I think this honors our loved ones, and helps us through the grieving process.
Jeanne those are 2 handsome guys that made your Christmas special. Love those smiles!!

    Bookmark   January 14, 2013 at 11:32AM
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Karen, glad to hear from you!

Sorry your family was so busy at Christmas. We enjoyed your decorating. I kind of felt a bit like you as my own Mr. O decided he didn't want to host any parties this year, so all we did was have my office co-workers over and my family for Christmas Eve and Christmas morning. :(

I would decorate anyway but it is more fun when I get to have a party and let others enjoy it too!!

The 2 photos of the babies in the same rocking chair are priceless!!

I'm glad Branson will be coming back in March. I hope with the coming of spring, you get to feeling back to your old self.

Nice to know you are checking in regularly, but we sure miss you when you don't feel up to posting.

LUVS, glad you had your family to help you through the holidays and your wonderful pictures of happier times.


This post was edited by christmascandy on Thu, Jan 17, 13 at 13:40

    Bookmark   January 14, 2013 at 11:23PM
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Nana and Candy, I am doing much better now that Christmas is past. No more depression struggles at all. The problem is a lack of interest in 'my' decorating. Tho I struggled with this last year too, I did Easter and then nothing till Fall-Thanksgiving. I skipped all the others. I am pretty much inclined to rehome my Valentine stuff, especially as Mr O. doesn't have a romantic bone in his body. LOL. That's one holiday I can definitely cross off doing!
Since I'm Irish tho, I will hang on to St Paddy's. ;o)

hugs, Karen

    Bookmark   January 15, 2013 at 2:20AM
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Marlene Kindred

Well, well, well Miss Karen.....I do believe we were bitten by the same bug this year. I am very sorry that you've been struggling again, but totally understand it too. Christmas seemed to take forever to get here this year and I was tired of it way before it did. We did decorate, but no one sees ours but us. We rarely have company and our families live within 5 miles, so they are in and out all of the time, so it's business as usual....meaning we don't host any parties and haven't even been to one in ages. I think we've become the "fuddy duddy" family. Unfortunately, once you get out of the habit of hosting and going to parties, it becomes very easy to never do it again. Such is my life. But, I'm okay with that.

Now, back to you. Glad you're out of the doldrums again and I wish there was something we could do to get Mr."O" motivated, but I can't think of a thing. And I'm sorry for that. It's certainly no fun.

I really do think we should have a country wide get together one year. Meet in the middle somewhere for a few days and just be crazy old ladies....I think that would be a blast!

Anyway, hang in there and keep lurking and posting. You know we love you and want you around!

Hugs and love,

    Bookmark   January 15, 2013 at 7:29PM
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So it sounds like we're all getting over the holiday celebration of our dreams that we didn't have. lol! Same here... it was depressing -- but that's only because I keep wishing everything could be the fun and carefree way it used to be. Include my body, strength, and stamina in that 'everything' wish. At least it sounds like we're all on the mood-upswing now. The nicer weather here has definitely cheered everyone up. :)

Marlene, I'm not centrally located, but you should all meet at my house and decorate for me. :p I've hosted one larger get-together and two dinner parties recently where I *planned* to decorate the house, make favors, and set the table beautifully. I have everything I think I need, but I just don't execute! well... I got part-way through my plans and it looked good to me, but honestly, I can't keep myself from putting my energies into the FOOD! I love good food and love to entertain, but I'm not Martha Stewart in the decorating department. :O)

I'm thinking ahead to Valentine's Day. For the past few years I've hosted a small dinner party on the weekend closest to V.Day, and it's worked very nicely. I'm planning what I might want to do this year, so we'll see how far I get. :p

    Bookmark   January 16, 2013 at 10:40AM
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I guess I decorate for 'myself' ... who can't 'smile' when you walk by 'Dollbaby!' ~~giggle

So I go with the attitude that if it makes me happy & my body will let me do it & my 'spirit' agrees, then 'Go for it!' If not, it's ok!

Hugs to all the Holiday-ers here ... whether you post or comment or if you're one of those 'lurkers' (that awful word!), you are all appreciated here! :-) Jeanne S.

    Bookmark   January 16, 2013 at 11:16AM
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Karen...I'm glad you 'got your groove back' ! Good for
I guess I can say - I can relate.
I've been mostly lurking first time in 6 yrs..but that's another story.
Anyway Sorry to All who I've ignored posting comments to.
Bear with me...I'll be back ..
Karen and everyone..take care.

    Bookmark   January 16, 2013 at 6:42PM
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Party, thanks for the grin "sounds like we're all getting over the holiday celebration of our dreams that we didn't have. lol!" You hit the nail on the head, and in such a cute way. (need any Valentine decorations? LOL)

Jane, I know you've had a rough time too. Quite a few us it seems have been on the down slope, but hopefully a new year will get us back up in the right direction. Its so nice we can come here and share stuff, good or bad. And find kindred spirits no matter what. We do have an awfully in lot in common on this forum, which is probably why we seem like family more often than not.

Marlene, if we could all meet up somewhere, we'd be a big bunch of crazy ladies for sure. HAPPY and crazy.

Jeanne, I use to think I decorated "for myself" but lately I haven't felt that way. Hopefully it will come back tho. I did enjoy my Fall things at least.

Love and blessings to all of you, especially those who are
not doing so well right now.
hugs, Karen

    Bookmark   January 16, 2013 at 11:30PM
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My gosh, I think the depression bug has bitten almost all of us this year. Karen your story could be mine for most Christmases, except this year. We actually had a nice mix of family & friends who all got along great. Guess each of us gets a break once in a while!

I can surely relate to your experience with your oldest son. I think many of us have had that experience too.

My depression hit big time after Christmas & really dropped to the depths last week.

I have a new computer & different camera that I have no clue how to upload pics from & no one has time, so I didn't get to post any this year.

The family of ladies here is such a blessing, any one of us can be missing & come back & feel " at home " again.

Luvs, I think of you often, so glad your family is there for you & has been a huge help to you.

My decorating isn't as much fun anymore since my basement was turned into a music studio. I can't easily get to my shelves & things have gotten misplaced to where I cannot find them. It's become a chore rather than a fun hobby.

There are drums, amps, speakers etc, to try to climb behind & then black sheets hung in front of my shelves so nothing is an easy find.

I have considered selling it all off in a spring garage sale. Not sure what I'll do right now.

At any rate, I'm glad to see the familiar faces ( so to speak) here & the family type support. Love you all.

    Bookmark   January 17, 2013 at 3:29AM
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In a line from one of my favorite holiday movies -- National Lampoon's 'Christmas Vacation', Ellen says:
Audrey, I don't know what to say, except it's Christmas and we're all in misery. :O)

Yachter, find the user manual for the camera and take a look to try to download the photos yourself. Everything is usually so easy to do on computers now because things are done automatically for you.

    Bookmark   January 17, 2013 at 8:15AM
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