anyone have experience with rituxan and bensemusdine?

suz1023November 1, 2010

first, SCREW CANCER!!!!!!

thanks, i wish i could use stronger language, but will resist.

my sweet husband is a week away from his second of six treatments of this combo, and feels so bad he's actually told me he's not sure if he can go through it again.

this from a super macho tough guy who has been brought to his knees by this chemo. he's had several course of chemo before, none made him this sick, and none have worked real well either.

what do i tell him? that it's ok to give up? or encourage him to continue to suffer and fight when it may not work anyway?

do i ask him to torture himself without a real promise of a decent life afterward?

he doesn't want to die, he doesn't want to leave me, but i think he feels so sick he cannot face another five months of this.

poor man.how i wish i could do it for him, this is so unfair--cancer is a slow painful death of a person.

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asolo

"what do i tell him? "

In this reply, I'm assuming he's competent. Thinking may be better time for discussion and listening rather than "telling". He will likely have his his own opinions about these matters. Especially since he's already had considerable experience with chemo, I suspect his opinions may have been sharpened more than a little. Some people are willing to fight through anything for even a small chance at improvement or recovery. Some aren't. IMHO, either opinion deserves respect.

His not wanting to die and not wanting to leave you are, doubtless, troubling thoughts for him. Discussion with you may help him settle his thinking about both. He may not come to a point of any particular confidence, but he may well come to a point of peace with whatever decision he makes. And your support of that decision will add to his comfort in making it.

Terrible time for you both. Sorry for your trouble.

    Bookmark   November 2, 2010 at 11:53AM
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mariend

My DH has been fighting cancer for about 6 years, will never get rid of it, due to type, is under remission and has a great cancer center. He now takes rituxan about every 3 months, no problems, just a bit tired for about a week, but does have other medical issues to contribute to his health. You and he needs to talk to your cancer center and let them know how he feels and most centers have great and well trained people to offer advice to both physical and mental attitude. Where DH goes, this positive attitude is with staff and patients. With any disease you do not know if it will work or not, BUT with a negative attitude very few treatments work as good as they should. Our cancer and heart center stress positive thoughts. It really makes that difference. But then the whole state is that way (ND) comparing to other places we have lived in.

    Bookmark   November 4, 2010 at 2:52PM
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asolo

With respect, they do sell optimism. What else would they do? They have good results and bad results. They're working. They're doing everything they know how to do. They're doing it in hope that THIS patient will be one of those who responds.

Some places describe the process honestly. Some don't. Some patients make it through. Some just get a few more months of incredible misery before they pack up. From case to case nobody knows how it's going to go.

Some people are OK with that. Some don't want to go through it. IMHO, an informed, cognizant person should be allowed to decide if they want to endure it or not. I'm biased that way. Most of the people that underwent these procedures and then died had hopes and good thoughts and a positive attitude, too. If they didn't, they never would have agreed to the treatment.

    Bookmark   November 4, 2010 at 9:50PM
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