Talking to herself-HELP

lovestoquiltNovember 28, 2006

My soon to be 90 year old great aunt (Grandma's sister)has been living with us for 6 years. She is in good physical health. She reads mysteries and does the jumble puzzle in the paper everyday. I 've notice lately that she has started to "mumble" to herself. Like she is talking to someone but not us. Not loud but under her breath.

Well, I was up early this morning and heard her in the bathroom. I thought she might be calling me so I went to check on her and she was just talking away......saying terrible things about me! Called me a witch (with a B) and

said I was stealing her money (my name is on her account). Of course, I'm not. She gets a bank statement every month

and can see for herself. It's not like she is wealthy!

And called my husband, who is nothing but nice to her, the B word. Very angry mean words.Just rambled on and on.

I'm not sure what to do? Should I talked to her about it? During the day she's as sweet as can be. Not a angry word.

Is this the start of something? I can't believe she actually feels this way after all these years. Also, lately she has been saying she wishes she would just die. She has outlived all of her siblings. Was never married and had no children.

This is my first post. I'm so glad I found this site.

Any suggestions would be appreciated.

Thank you so much.


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Don't say anything to her. She may not even be aware of such deep feelings, and would wonder why you are trying to upset her.

I know it was disturbing to you, but it really would not do a bit of good to confront her.

I suspect that she is entering another area of life where her mind may not work as it always has. Just do the best you can. You may have to overlook a lot of things like this.

    Bookmark   November 28, 2006 at 6:47AM
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I agree, don't say anything to her. She's probably not aware of what she's saying, or even that she's talking to herself. By 90, my dad felt he'd lived long enough.

You might want to talk to her physician, about her mumbling and talking to herself. Has she had any other changes in her personality, even subtle ones? She might have had a small stroke or bleed in her brain. She may have developed high blood pressure or diabetes, or something else. He can check her out. Her medications may be interacting in a funny way, or she may be getting too much. If she's small, doses may need to be adjusted, or changed. If she's taking aspirin, the doctor may want to stop it.

Good luck.

    Bookmark   November 28, 2006 at 7:53AM
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Make sure that you have her medical power of attorney and have the proper forms to be able to talk to her doctor. HIPPA rules are quite specific about privacy rules. I'd make sure that her doctor knows about this. It might be the start of more dementia. And no, you should not mention it to her.

This is the time to be sure that your paperwork is up to date, because it may come in handy in the future. My Mother would get confused in her later years, and there was no amount of 'explaining' that would make her understand reason. At this stage, you will find yourself treating her (lovingly of course) more as a 5 yr old child.... don't give her too many choices (not, what would you like for lunch? but would you like chicken noodle soup or a tuna sandwich?) Don't beat yourself up about it, either.... you know that you are doing a wonderful job of taking good care of her. Keep that in mind and do your best.

But do make sure that your paperwork is in order, and talk to her doctor. Do you accompany her to her appointments? Someone suggested writing our questions/concerns and giving it to the staff for the doctor before he/she sees the patient, which is a great idea.

Good luck, keep in touch with us here, and remember that you didn't cause her behavior, nor can you cure it. But you can take care of yourself, mentally and physically.

    Bookmark   November 28, 2006 at 10:13AM
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All of the above and most importantly
Do not take what she is saying PERSONALLY. I know that is hard, but if you are not guiltly, Just let it pass right on by.

    Bookmark   November 28, 2006 at 10:30PM
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