Lindajewell and Agnepuffin
Dad called today begging me to please come see him. Man does this ever suck. It leaves me feeling down and torn apart but I'm staying away for a while.
It is a small nursing home with only two wings and about 15 rooms per wing. There are only two rooms that are shared rooms. I have dad in one of those shared rooms the cost is 150.00 a month cheaper than a private room. He has complained that the person in this room gets up in the middle of the night getting into his things. The other guy is pretty far into dementia so I believe what dad tells me and have thought of getting him a private room. At least he could rest but it will also go through his money faster. It's costing 51,000 a year if he knew the total cost he'd really have a cow.
As for transportation they tell me they have none, nothing at all. They do have a GP that comes once a week but if dad needed to see the doctor in between then he'd have to go to someone outside of the home. He has a urologist and a heart doctor and with the new pacemaker he'll have to go in for reg. check ups, and with the prostate cancer he started taking shots 7 months ago and was due for blood work and another shot but with all that's gone on the doctor said it's ok to put it on hold for a few months.
Agnespuffin, Yes, He's angry at life in general. He talks about wanting to just die often. This is hard for me to hear but it's not new he's talked this way for a long time ever since he and mom divorced in 1968.
It all has happened so fast that I wasn't prepared for having to take on this kind of responsibility. Having to take this kind of control does not come easy and it makes it harder when the parents fight with you or begs you to get them out of the home, no matter what I've told him falls on deaf ears. All he thinks about is his home and wanting it to be back the way his life was before he had congestive heart failure and a pacemaker.
The home is strictly for memory care patients and right now dads mind is clear and he gets that way but then falls back into a fog or unable to think clear enough to make the right decision, like last summer when he sat in his car to long and when he tried to back out of the driveway he ran into the house but wasn't clear if he hit the front or the back of the car. He also is so obsessed with taking his medicine the way he sees fit. Every time I see him all he can say is that if he can just go to his quack of a doctor he'll give him the medicine he needs. I've tried to get dad away from this doctor and now that he's in the home I can.
I told dad the other day that his doctor is retiring which is true and he knows the last couple of times he's gone over there he's had to see one of the new doctors. He asked about his doctor and was told that he's retiring.
I go for a meeting Tuesday but for now I'm writing things down on dad's history as well as questions I need to ask them.