taking care of elderly mother and handicap brother

chattycat48September 7, 2007

Hi, my name is Cathy and I guess I just need to vent. My father passed away 2 years ago, and ever since my dad passed my mom health hasnt been good. Last year she had a lung collaspe , which but her in to the hospital for 2 months, then she went in to re hab for about 2 months. Mean while, I am trying to go and see her at the hospital and taking care of my brother, and seeing my husband when I can, like once a moth I was able to go home. Thats when my brother and his wife came over to help out. I mean my brother is pretty good helping when I ask, but why should I have to ask, its his mother too. Part of her health problems is short time memory lost,which it isnt getting better.My handicap brother is 24 and he is total care. And he doesnt sleep well. Some times he will stay awake in till 3 in the morning, and want to sleep in till noon. You have to do everything for him. This passed april I have been lucky to have a couple aides that comes in twice a week for I can go home with my husband.So, I have been trying to take care of my mom bills,my brothers bills and keep things straight for my house, then try to help my in laws when I have any extra times.Any way I dont mean to cry or complain but I guess I just needed to be heard.

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Your first responsibility is to your husband. Don't forget that. Also, you MUST take care of yourself if you are to be able to help anyone.

Sooner or later, your brother will have to go into a nursing home. You might not like to do this, but it probably will be unavoidable. Perhaps it is time to start working on that. He should be qualified for some sort of State aid for the disabled. Start looking around for a suitable place.

Is it possible that you mother could come stay with you? It's only a matter of time until she also needs more help than she does now. It may be easier to move her now, rather than later.

Please come and vent all you need to. We always listen. Sometimes we give poor advice, but we mean well. And sometimes, we give advice that may be very helpful.

Take care of yourself and your husband. He needs you too.

    Bookmark   September 8, 2007 at 11:42AM
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