Can you do anything about unethical and unprofessional behavior

kswombieSeptember 1, 2011

My grandfather passed away almost three weeks ago. He was an incredible grandfather to my sisters and I. Our mother was his only child but virtually worthless when it came to caring for grandpa. Our mother lived less than five miles from the nursing home grandpa resided but still rarely visited, maybe a total of an hour in the past 5 years. My two sisters and I were there or spoke to him on the phone every day. At the funeral the director of the nursing home came to my mother, told her that I had taken my grandfather from the nursing home to meet with an attorney and had the will changed to exclude my mother. There is no truth in this at all and of course this has set my selfish mother into a tail spin. I find this to be extremely unethical and unprofessional. Is there anything I can do? Is there a governing board for nursing homes? I don't have a case of abuse or neglect, I believe my grandfather received good care. I don't really have a relationship with my mother and don't necessarily care that she may never speak to me again but feel that something needs to be done about this director. Any advice or suggestions

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Nursing homes are state-licensed, so yes you can complain. There is also the federally mandated (are you in the US?) Ombudsmen, who advocate for patients in nursing homes. You can contact your local office thru your nearest area agency on aging (goes by various names), which can be found in almost every county.

Yes, complain.

    Bookmark   September 1, 2011 at 11:10PM
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Did you hear the director tell your mother? If you didn't and the whole thing about the will being changed is incorrect....then I don't think you would be smart to stir things up more.

    Bookmark   September 2, 2011 at 12:15AM
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You are right, Agnes, if kswombie got her info from her mother, or from her mother telling other people that that's where she heard it, then just ignore it. She's Trouble, Capital T, and no harm is done.

If someone else heard the NH director say that, that would be a different story. Consider the source.

    Bookmark   September 2, 2011 at 12:29AM
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How in the world would the director of the nursing home know whether you took grandad out for lunch or to an attorney? Since its not true, it makes no sense that he would talk to your mother since you said she rarely visited, how would he know who she was? Your mother is no doubt making it up and
now you are blaming some poor guy who was not involved. You know your mother and know she needs to blame somebody. The disinherited child is often a pain.

    Bookmark   September 14, 2011 at 11:40PM
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