Dad was kicked out of the Nursing home You wont believe this

goldenpondSeptember 19, 2012

My dad had been happily living in a Nursing home for almost 3 years. About 6 months ago a lady moved there who had it in for him. I guess he reminded her of someone. She would ram her wheelchair into him and yell til he lashed out. Never causing physical harm but he placed his hands on her as if he was going too before someone intervened, (he cannot even shave himself) he was told not to do it again that she had DEMENTIA and that she didnt know any better but he did. The second time she did it again and this time he grabbed her nose. they called us into the office and Dad said "bit I didn't even get to twist her nose" I am sure he wanted to but hadn't the strength. Again no physical harm but he got moved to another wing where he stayed away, but she would come down his hallways. AND , the third time I got a frantic call that he was going to be Baker ACTED! I asked what he had done and they couldnt exactly answer they said they had conflicting reports. So the social worker.(a little sexpot who always flirted with dad and the others) said she stood in front of Dad and said put your hands on me like you did her and he placed his hand on her neck. BTW dad DOES have dementia. Anyway they called the cops. There we sat in the dining room with a police officer awaiting the ambulance. I got dad his teeth and he struggled to get them in his mouth the officer shaking his head at the feeble man accused of a violent attack. At the ER the nurses fumed. His DEPEND weighed a ton and he had 3 sores on his scrotum AND a heavy duty UTI. They said he is not in the least aggressive but they had to send him to the Behavioral Health hospital. Same thing there. the nurses fell in love with him saying he is just a big teddy bear and all he has is BAD UTI and Dementia NOT a mental problem needing their expertise. They told the nursing home to pick him up or place him but guess what? When you are Baker Acted NO ONE will accept you. So they struggled for three days and the BHH said we cannot keep him he must leave by midnight. The social worker called spouting off how they would have to keep him away from everyone and with 24 hr care and on and on she went til I said just send him home with me he is no prisoner. She hardly could believe I said that and quickly offered to have his med s sent to our pharmacy in the am. Hubs ordered a hospital bed (4 PM)and we went to pick him up at the BHH. They were super good to us and hated to see him go. In the AM went to pharmacy to get Depends, gloves, wipes and meds,,,,no meds. Went later in afternoon. No meds. Called and the nursing home social worker said, "we changed our mind the Behavior Health Hospital can order them. "

Somehow we just did what we had to, dad was full care in wheelchair and bed in the nursing home. On his fourth day with us STILL no meds (mix up they said) he was laying in his room and I stepped outside with the grandkids. When I came in DAD was sitting in a kitchen chair! I asked him"HOW did you get here?" He said,,,,,,"It wasn't easy!" He had crawled out of bed and using his wheelchair as a walker walked down the hallway to the kitchen. It dawned on me then. 4 days NO MEDS AND he is WALKING! So, now we are getting him physical therapy and Occupational therapy and baths, Next week we will check out the Senior day Care he loves to be around people. Some days are a struggle and I thank God I have a yard I can go out and enjoy and a FANTASTIC spouse who helps me. We are trying really hard to not be overwhelmed because in October we have hubs' Auntie coming to stay!

~tanya

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sunnyca_gw

I feel for you Goldenpond! Friend needs to be placed somewhere as getting angry & family afraid he will take it out on wife. Also talking about buying new car(keys taken away few yrs ago) & getting a job(88 yrs old) He was in WWII & qualifies for V.A. benefits & was getting runaround so I thought I would check at a nursing home where I was visiting patient(asked if they could give me any suggestions)they took me to director of nursing. She said a lot of nursing homes have VA patients under gov't contract & he would get in free also spouses get some benefits too.He needs lockdown placement so he doesn't wander off. So I sure didn't know that. Wouldn't hurt to find out if they have that in your area if he is a vet., he have to be checked out by their Dr. & then you can do Internet search, you could do search before hand, have to know his service info etc.Google "dementia lock-down V.A. nursing homes" But if he gets to be too much for you at home might be the way to go. Amazed that he is walking again. They do over-medicate at lot of those places. I came across medical records of lady who had been member of our church. Somehow her papers from nursing home ended up with things they brought to church for her son to pick up,he got killed so I said I would clean out her stuff & was shocked to see that her main complaint was stomach pain & the 3 drugs they had her on(for yrs) all reacted against each other & Physican's Drug book tells you not to mix them,cause abdominal pain!! Duh! She was such a sweet lady but I hadn't seen her for yrs as went over to different church & when we came back over to build this 1 up saw that she had passed away. She originally had cancer & got cured of it so probably didn't need to be in a home if she was off her meds. Very sad. So important to check the side effects & even talk to pharmacist to be sure they are compatible, tho smart to also check in medical books as some may be in it for the money. Bet your dad is thrilled to be so close to you! Good luck & hope he does well! I remember a pic of him at nursing home having fun!!

    Bookmark   September 23, 2012 at 1:11AM
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goldenpond

Thanks. He has good days and bad. Going to get a back support for myself for sure. Also really glad I have a solar hot water heater,never done so much laundry!Took him out in the car today He did ok getting in but did the Fat Ragdoll imitation getting out!
~tanya

    Bookmark   September 23, 2012 at 5:51PM
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marie_ndcal

Sounds like you have things under control, but I would put in a big complaint with the state to have the home investigated because they may be treating others the same way or worst. Also I would ask for the state to investigate the meds and make sure the people are getting what the Dr. prescribed, but not too many. Sad to say, you may have to have him back in a home someday, just not that one. Don't let them and the social worker get away with labeling your father with something he does not have.
By the way, I have never heard of Baker Acted??? Exactly what does that made,and it this a term that the home invented or is it a state thing. Please do not let this home get away with this mistreatment.
We have some great homes in our area and I have friends who work at many of them. Never have I seen or heard of that type of treatment.
Good luck to your and your family'
Marie

    Bookmark   September 25, 2012 at 1:06PM
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goldenpond

Baker Act as per WIKEPEDIA-The act was named for a Florida state representative, Maxine Baker, who had a strong interest in mental health issues, served as chair of a House Committee on mental health, and was the sponsor of the bill.
The nickname of the legislation has led to the term "Baker Act" as a transitive verb, and "Baker Acted" as a passive-voice verb, for invoking the Act to force an individual's commitment. Although the Baker Act is a statute only for the state of Florida, use of "Baker Acting" as a verb has become prevalent as a slang term for involuntary commitment in other regions of the United States.
-tanya

    Bookmark   October 3, 2012 at 2:48PM
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