I am just so tired.
I have been caregiver for my family for years. My Mom died 15 years ago. She was on oxygen for the last two years of her life. She lived with m Dad and my brother. I tried to get her to move in with my husband and I but she wouldn't. We lived near so I would send meals and call her constantly. I would go over on weekends and clean house. At the end she finally came to stay with us. It was my birthday. I spent the whole night laying in bed with her and we talked so much. Early that morning she suffered a stroke. We had to call the ambulance and she was on a ventilator for 10 days before she died. She was on so many medications that the ER doctor could not believe them. Also, they think the stress of leaving her home caused the stroke.
My Dad was diabetic. I took care of him for many ears.Then we had to sell our home and we did not want to live in Orlando. So we bought a home over here, and my Dad and brother moved in with us. My sister said that when my brother got a job over here, she would help him find an apartment. He has never lived alone. He sat home and played on the computer for an entire year, only going out on a job interview to keep his unemployment. My nephew already had a job lined up for him,but he said it "it wasn't his bag." My husband and I have taken care of my Mom,Dad and brother for the 46 years we have been married. I have a sister who lives in the same city and a brother who lives out of state.We took care of my Dad until he had his leg amputated and we could no longer lift him and give him the care he needed. During this time I had breast cancer and my husband had triple bypass. We finally had to put Dad in a nursing home. He lived for two years. We visited everyday. My brother would go over and ogle the nurses, eat the food that Dad didn't and then leave him alone and go out on the patio with his "buds".This summer Ken, the brother, hurt his back. He has been out of work since April. He is probably going to lose his job. He has no way to live on his own. He is bouncing checks, spending money on stupid things that he can't afford and certainly doesn't need. When he was in the hospital they suggested that he go to a rehab. No way, those people in the nursing home killed his Dad. But he spent months going over there after Dad died.He used to pay us room and board, but that hasn't happened in months. Now we even have to buy his groceries. He gets SS, that started in May. Because he wouldn't listen to my husband and did it on line, he messed up and missed March and April. Then he wws getting disability but again, my husband told him that he would have to pay the premium. The company doesn't pay if you are getting disability. So his insurance was cancelled. Then he sent them a second check to be reinstated.He did not void the first one. I just went through my second bout of Cancer, just found out that my husband might have lung cancer. My sister and other brother are diabetics and both have lung disease and are on oxygen. They can't help, but I just want to have a few years with my husband and I being able to live as a couple. I can't even tell you all of the reasons why Ken is my worst nightmare. All I hear is that you are your brother's keeper. I know that I should not resent him so much, but I am just so tired of living with him. At first I thought that I would just type this and get it out of my system. I just don't have anyone else to talk to and maybe someone might have some suggestions.