dh starts chemo again tomorrow,we're arguing again
i;m so frustrated i could just scream. my husband is a great guy to most,but i don't know for how long i can go on. this round of chemo is supposed to be much easier to tolerate than the last,which was not too bad,he says. he's retired, so money isn't flowing in the way it used to,and i lost my health insurance when he retired. i've spent the last twenty years either caring for the kids,my elderly parents or him,and am now in school working furiousely to create a financial future for myself. partly i'm furious because i finally realised that he has no plan for my future if he predeceases me,,which being older and with health issues he may. how do i reconcile my fear of losing him too soon,remain loving and caring during his illness,and continue to get to class and plan for my future? what has set me off this weekend is he finds nothing positive about my plans for the future---says it's his job to be devils advocate and point out all of the potential ways i could screw up.
i know he is depressed and worried,,i get that,really i do. please,give me some tips to cope when i'm so angry and disapointed in his total lack of support. he hasn't spoken to me in two days because he's angry that i outlined a 'stupid' plan to him,one based on the class work i'm doing and which has a lot of support from my teachers.
i'm not a person who has a lot of intimate friends or family,just my daughter,who understands,but i don't want to continue to burden her with my problems.
thanks for listening. i love him and am scared for him,but honestly,i could strangle him too!