Losing my Mind!!!!

jeanninetxAugust 23, 2005

I know I am in and out of this forum, but I swear I may soon be the one being talked about.

You all know I am caregiver to our quad son. Well now I am not caregiver, but the servant of the Hubby.

He had to have another spinal surgery, and of course that means No Bending, No Lifting, No Sudden Movements. Plus the stitches/staples were not healing like they should, and had to have the dressing changed every day. Aren't they lucky I know how to do this stuff.

Now hubby when well, is a great guy, he handles all the early morning chores, feeds the cats, feeds the dogs, feeds the deer, and feeds the feral cats outside. Well No More, I got the Job. I don't mind, but our son has a medical program than takes until 4AM some nights, I am not happy having to get up at 8AM that morning.

Then to top it all off, the Dr. claims the stitches/staples would heal better if he quit smoking!!!

I told the DR. we both smoke (no critics please), the Dr. said you should stop, I told him it is my only vice, I do not drink, never have and never did drugs. He actually told me" Start Drinking, it is better for you" Idiot!

He is a great Dr. but still. Hubby is doing the quitting, and cold turkey, man that is like living with a sleeping dragon, make one wrong move, say one wrong word, do something NOT the way he would, and the dragon spits fire!!

Well that is enough for me now. Just wanted to let you all know live is a bit(h at times, as you know.

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Oh, Jeannine!!! Wouldn't you just know that everything is going to go wrong at the same time.. Maybe it's time to take up strong drink. Then maybe you won't notice hubby. Or better still, give it to him and maybe he'll just sit there quietly smiling. I'm kidding of course.

    Bookmark   August 24, 2005 at 9:09AM
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Hey Jeannine....You have the worst summers! It is a hard row to hoe, but your DH IS to be commended for trying, tho I wonder if there is evidence to support the Dr's claim?! It is so very bad for you. Know you didn't "need"anyone to agree w/them, but ..... what you really need is a bunch of help with all that work. Being up till 4 doesn't help. No wonder your "fuse"is short. Agree with Aileen! Derry

    Bookmark   August 24, 2005 at 1:45PM
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no, love- your doctor is not an idiot. and if you thought about it rationally, you'd know it. and if your husband is smoking enough for it to be affecting his healing process- it's only a matter of time before it damages another system- his heart, his lungs, something that will make things worse.

of course- the idea of being trapped in a house with an invalid trying to quit smoking would have me turning to strong drink myself, if I didn't run screaming into the night- so you have my sympathies for being between a rock and a hard place.

but cold turkey? no patches, no gum, no muscle relaxants? is your doctor aware of this? and giving you no support?

now that's not cool. your jusband is battling a DRUG ADDICTION up there with opiates and sucrose (the most addicting substance primates have access to, and we feed it to our children! go figure!) and he's not under specific medical care for it?

that's not fair.

if you've got access to a health food store (where I am, I take them for granted, even the chain markets have organic sectiona) you might want to try a bottle of Bach's Rescue Remedy- I can talk all week about the magical theory behind it, because I'm an informal practitioner, but even if there's nothing to it but the somatic effect of adding two drops to your water bottle, and stopping to think 'there is balance, and I will let myself live there for two minutes before I face the world again'...

reminding yourself of that really does help.

is there any chance of you getting any help? even a few hours a week might help you- not to mention putting your husband on better behavior (even nearly-ex-smokers tend to mind their manners around strangers ;)

    Bookmark   August 24, 2005 at 1:49PM
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Just jumping in to agree with Chinacat: I had to quit smoking for two surgeries I had (one was a breast reduction: my surgeon said I had to quit or my nipples would fall off! Literally! The stitches would not hold if I smoked!) But cold turkey? At least our DD is using Nicorette gum and I never thought she would ever quit! It's been two years now and she still chews it now and then.

Jeannine, you've just got to get some assistance! My heavens, my DH and I were just looking after my alz mother and we had 15 hours a week! I know the US is different, so surely other gals on here could tell you where to turn for help. If anyone needs it YOU do.

When I was going thru bad times I found this board a refuge...drop in more often...everyone here really does care and understand...


    Bookmark   August 25, 2005 at 11:04AM
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I do come here when I need to vent. This is still the best place for me to come when things get a bit rough.
DH got a thumbs up from the DR. yesterday, stitches healed nicely now. He is still not smoking, I told myself when you finish your cigs in the closet you must stop!!
I did ask the Dr. yesterday, how was I supposed to quit, I cannot go cold turkey, and with a new med for a heart condition, I was not too comfortable doing it that way.
I will admit even he said cold turkey is hard, see your Dr. and get some help from him. I think that is what I will do, ever since they found this silent problem (heart) I get a mite worried about stress.
That is enough of my venting.
Thanks for all your support guys. That is why I am still here after all these years.

    Bookmark   August 26, 2005 at 2:10AM
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