Mom with dementia upset about move
My 83 year old mother was diagnosed with Alzheimer's-type dementia in early 2009. Since then the disease has progressed, but she still knows who everyone is. She has very very little short-term memory. My dad passed away in April, and it became apparent that Mom could no longer live in the small rural town where she had spent the last 57 years of her married life. There are no services--not a bar, a grocery store, a hair dresser--nothing. She never remembered to take her medication--never even remembered she was ON medication. I talked to Mom about moving and she eventually thought it was a good idea. Over the month or so as we waited to move her into a retirement community in the city where me and my 4 siblings all live (about 50 miles from her home), I would remind her of the move every single day. We moved Mom on July 26, and immediately she claimed we never told her she was moving. Ever since, she has asked me (not any of my siblings, just me) to go home. She gets very argumentative and of course, I can't use logic with her. One day, she called me at work 18 times to tell me she wanted to go home. I try using persuasion, telling her she's seeing me and my siblings every day now, that we get to spend more time together, that I was worried about how I would help her during the winter months if the roads got bad. Nothing helps. She still calls me every day, wanting to go home and saying she doesnt' need to be in the retirement community. But when she was at home, she would call me very upset about being alone there. It's like I can't win. I'm about ready to take away my phone number and just call her twice a day to check in. I just can't take the phone calls much longer. I have a fairly high-stress job and a new marriage (I'm the youngest and was born when my parents were in their 40s). Does anyone have any suggestions to offer?