save us from this week!

heydeborahJuly 19, 2005

dd turned 17 on saturday, of course my mil came over, and instead of giving her a 1.00 for every year she is born she rec'd a cheque for 25.00 (which was a very nice surprise)dd was thrilled. so it being dd's special day, my mil goes on and on about her fav. daughter coming to visit on friday with her daughter, well she went on and on and on (Helene, i know where you're coming from)about m--- this and m--- that, and my other sil is planning a bbq and for once we are invited to something (the embarrassing family, that's us -- brother no legs, wife stays at home with him, kids that don't get into trouble and parents know where they are at all times, you know that kind of family). well when my mil came to the door she informed me she took a cab at 3.80, because she waited and waited to see if i was going to go and get her - nothing was said about me going to pick her up, and not to be mean, i wouldn't. well after her going on and on about this that and nothing, i see Al reach for his notro spray (this is 15 minutes later). to make a long story short after 45 minutes, i said i was getting a migrane (i lied, it's a wonder i wasn't punished and got one) and did she want a ride home, we almost had to push her out the door. this sister who is visiting, hasn't made any attempt to phone, e-mail him or send a card, apparently she gets all her info from my mil or sil (as i said before i don't know how they get their info, they haven't talked to either one of us). they will be here for a week to 10 days (not sure we weren't included in this info), do i fake a long migrane, or will i be punished? Al is not looking forward to her visit, and the kids and i don't care if we see them or not. do i clean up the garage to put the car away, and hope they don't go and see ds at work at the mall, lock all the doors and close the drapes. i know that Ann Landers says no one can take advantage of you, but frankly it's Al's health i'm worried about, after seeing what it did to him on saturday. it's a cool day right now and 51 out! PeaBee reading a book called Mum's the work, new author Kate Collins, almost finished it, it's a good read. well i better tend to my flowers, enjoy the day! and please SAVE US! debbie

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I sure wouldn't fret about what they wanted, what they thought, or what they planned. Just do what's best for Al, and I think that's to stay home and ignore them. Pretend they aren't there. And get some more books to read. I just finished Joan Hess's Closely Akin To Murder. I don't think it was one of her best.

    Bookmark   July 19, 2005 at 7:59PM
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sometimes I wonder how good people even manage to spring from the loins of trolls like that...and how they managed to survive.

funny that WE are the embarassments (my brother won't have anything to do with us any more, he joined the snotty side of the family) when all we're doing is finding our own path...

if you don't have the strength to tell them 'there's no point in you visiting, since you have nothing to add to our day but bother'...

then god may send little black ants into your kitchen, but I doubt that he would punish you with a migraine...and if you suspect your deity of such things, then I really must recommend you look for a BENEVLOENT and LOVING god, instead of an anthropomorphic version of your MiL.

I'd chase them off with a shotgun, but I'm that kind of girl. if that's not to your tastes- then ignore them,a nd wait for them to go away.

    Bookmark   July 20, 2005 at 10:18AM
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Hi everyone and thank you for your great advice! i have decided to say when they call, that it is very inconvient for a visit at this time and when WE are up to it, I will call them and thanks for inviting us to your bbq but it's just too hard for us to pack up a car with a wheelchair and other stuff. and there will NOT be any twisting of any arms to get us to come! Thank you both again, i think (ok know) i just needed that little push! i'm just tired of trying to please everyone and why in the world do i have to please people like this!? I do know that i'd like all of you to be my relatives than this clan that i was given! Also thanks for listening to me yet again! debbie

    Bookmark   July 20, 2005 at 10:46AM
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Atta Girl!!!! If they don't understand, then they have no idea at all about how Al is and what he can do. You will never be able to get it through the thick heads. My guess is that they will be relieved that you and Al don't show up. His presence is a reminder. I suspect they would rather just forget about him. Out of sight, Out of mind.

    Bookmark   July 20, 2005 at 11:23AM
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Hey Deb, I so agree with PeaBee...Atta Girl!!! If they haven't gotten a clue by now...they are never going to...just don't waste your thoughts on them. Makes me just want to give them a piece of my mind. You are a saint to hold back for this long. Please tell DD a Happy Belated Birthday. Take care of yourself,Al and your dear sweet kids....and I will be honored to be one of your relatives...wished you lived close and we could Al and my Dad would have alot to talk about...know we would. God Bless, Nora

    Bookmark   July 20, 2005 at 9:31PM
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Deb, good for you---stand strong and don't let the "family" idealized concept get in the way of reality. I wonder how many times most of us have thought, "Well, it's family, after all," or "this time will be different". Or some other self-delusion.

Trouble is that the nice people expect the best of people, and then get trampled over by a herd of buffalo.


Keep up the attitide, Deb, and you'll be just fine!


    Bookmark   July 20, 2005 at 11:09PM
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Hi All! well in less than 24 hours they will be here, do i care, no way! am i going out of my way for any of them - no! Al wanted to talk last night and he let me know that he didn't want to go to any bbq, and he has no intentions of leaving his house or yard at all on the weekend, he sid we are no going out of our way in any way shape or form for his family, wow, i couldn't believe it, he's the nicer of us 2! he also informed me he lost his legs and not his mind! (way to go, honey!) i was so worried he wanted this clan of people over if we didn't go to the bbq, he also told me don't bother going on a cleaning binge for them.
now all we have to do is figure out how We can all have a bbq together.
Nora, i bought that mircle grow for my plants and veggies. i finally have 10 blossums on 4 plants and the plants are still only 12 inches or so tall. i don't think we'll have much of a garden this year. the beans are just starting to pop through the ground! pretty sad this year. i need your dear Dad to help me out. however, we have hundreds of baby apples on our tree.
have to take ds to the golf course (he's paying for groceries if i drive him!)(better pick out some expensisve stuff - lol). enjoy your morning, it's a nice 66 out there and a bit of a wind! PeaBee read "Closely Akin...", last summer, you were right, not one of her better books. picked up a stack of Faye Kellerman afew weeks ago at a yardsale for 25 cents each, i'll see if i can get into her style of writing. deb ps. Linda if your eading this i expect you to call me! if not i'll camp out on Sandras doorstep!

    Bookmark   July 21, 2005 at 10:39AM
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Hey give me a pat on the back -- i did it!!! sil leaves us an e-mail at 10 am today inviting us to a bbq at 5 pm. we have decided not to go, and thiswas days ago. well guess who shows up at our door, 2 sil, 2nieces, and a mil!they visit for 25 minutes (i fake a migrane, so good i must admit that dd thinks i do have one!), tomorrow they are all off to the states and nothing was said that we'll see you again. al slept all afternoon, ds went to work, and dd andi went to the mall for their sidewalk's 102 degrees out right now, so we're trying to keep cool.and thank you all for the strength! debbie

    Bookmark   July 24, 2005 at 7:24PM
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Sounds as if it worked out well. See? you can do it!!
I hope you like Faye Kellerman. She is one of my favorites. I like her style. I enjoy her husband's work too. (He's Jonathan, in case he's not well known up there over the border)

    Bookmark   July 24, 2005 at 8:07PM
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Hi again, it's not cooling off at all! Plants are so dry, and you'd think living right on the shores of a lake, that we'd not have to worry about water rationing!! well we do! i'll have to bring them water out cup full by cupfull now that's dark out! but i did want you to know that i do have alot of Jonathan's books too, i really can't believe that you and i have the same book interests, i just love it! do you think we'll run out of authors that we both seem to love? deb

    Bookmark   July 24, 2005 at 11:09PM
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