Would this be okay to do?

marie26July 1, 2007

My daughter is in a nursing home and has become friends with a woman in her 60's whose cancer has returned full force and the doctors are not giving her much more time. Her husband has been there every single day for the few months she's been there. They are very nice people and so much in love. Since DD is only 24, she is understandably taking this very hard.

DD would like to do something for them and thought that maybe I could bring a home cooked meal for them. They've been eating the food from the nursing home for such a long time that she thought it would be appreciated.

I've met them a couple of times and having been through this with my own mother, I would like to do something. DD says that the woman can eat but even if she can't, her husband might enjoy something other than nursing home food. Do you think that this would be appropriate?

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agnespuffin

Be sure to ask the staff first. Either one of them may have big problems with certain foods. She may not be able to digest certain things. Some cancer patients are on an enriched caloric diet. You wouldn't be able to furnish that. Make sure that he is not diabetic. So be sure to ask.

My thoughts are while it would be a nice thing to do, and they certainly would enjoy it, unless you are willing to do it regularly, it would only remind them how little extra they may be getting from other friends and family.

Perhaps some nice flowers or a flowering plant would help just as much, if not more than food. You know, something cheerful to brighten the entire day, not just mealtime.

    Bookmark   July 1, 2007 at 10:24AM
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marry

"My thoughts are while it would be a nice thing to do, and they certainly would enjoy it, unless you are willing to do it regularly, it would only remind them how little extra they may be getting from other friends and family."

I think that sounds like saying don't do something nice for them because no one else is.............Maybe there is no one else, family or friends that can do nice things for this couple.
I say, talk to the staff at the nursing home and find out if there are any dietary issues that are to be considered or favorite foods that they know of and then go for it! Ask them if you could do this for them. Or you could bring dinner for 4. Dinner for your daugther and yourself and ask them to join the two of you.
A kind gesture is always appreciated!
Marie, your daughter sounds like such a kind hearted person! And so do you!

    Bookmark   July 1, 2007 at 1:30PM
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agnespuffin

...."Maybe there is no one else, family or friends that can do nice things for this couple......"

This is very true, I wasn't thinking all the way about that. I like the idea of doing it for them and your daughter as a group. Wouldn't it be nice if you could make it a celebration for something!!! then they would also have the pleasure of something extra special. Maybe there's a birthday or an anniversary of some sort. Even something as dumb as the cat having kittens.

    Bookmark   July 1, 2007 at 1:42PM
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marry

My mom has AD, and I know that she is always so thrilled when someone brings her something good to eat! It seems like so many of the things that used to bring her enjoyment are just gone now, but something good to eat is always a welcome treat!

    Bookmark   July 1, 2007 at 5:16PM
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