Something For Caregivers Who Need Support.......

katclaws_moJune 10, 2006

...I posted this awhile back I hope no one minds my reposting it. I "pinched" it from another forum and I thought to keep it as a reminder that we are all doing the best we can and to keep it handy when the uninvolved (worthless) family members and/or well-meaning friends/outsiders "opinions & discussions" (read that as infighting & general lack or support) start to question & critisize the caregiver.

This poster's done a wonderful job saying what many of us are thinking. Feel free to print it out and maybe even give it to the person(s) that need to wake up and see our reality of caregiving.

Blessings ~~ katclaws

Hope this finds you all well. The following is something I've come up with after another frustrating conversation with FAMILY.

~ As a caregiver it is my duty to be the best advocate for my loved one that I can be. This means that I will probably; be a pain\-in\-the\-butt, ask stupid questions, be a know\-it\-all, piss you off, get pissed at you. So What! If you think you can do it better just try.

~ It is my responsibility to take care of myself so that I can be a patient, kind, loving and responsible caregiver. This means I might rant, rave, cry, whine, laugh inappropriately or laugh hysterically. So What! If you think you can do it better just try.

~ I am aware of the truth and I try to make educated decisions. I no longer have the luxury of living in denial.

~ I refuse to explain, convince, justify, apologize or in any way feel guilty so that you can feel better about your excuses for your lack of concern or commitment.

~ I understand that your assessment of my motives is a reflection of your moral character, not mine.

~ If my asking for help is a sign of weakness to you just reflect on the fact that I am the one carrying the load and you are the one carrying excuses. So which of us has the strength of the ox?

~ I have a right to feel vulnerable. Alzheimer's Disease has a way of wiping out one's sense of security.

~ It is not my obligation to educate you. It is your responsibility to educate yourself so that you understand why I must say and do thigs that you deem inappropriate when I interact with my loved one.

~ I'm entitled to resent the fact that you feel the need to protect your interests. I suspect this comes from your inability to protect ayone else's interests.

~ I have a right to be angry when you aren't concerned for the day\-to\-day care and well\-being of this loved one but insist on making the big decisions.

~ Whether I am the spouse, sibling, child, grandchild, blood relative or in\-law caregiver of the afficted is irrelevant. I and my loved one have the same needs and feelings, regardless.

~ I am proud of myself even when I don't always handle things well. Afterall I am caretaking from a position of love.

~ When all is said and done I have self\-respect and a sense of peace because I am doing all that I can to make my loved one's last days filled with love and dignity. 
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derryw true!
I would add "have the right to complain and vent" !!

    Bookmark   June 15, 2006 at 11:48AM
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