Mom in Rehab Ctr. Dad in Denial!

drevaJune 2, 2008

My Mom (83 yr. old) fell and broke her hip last Tuesday morning while grocery shopping. My Dad (85 yr. old) is reluctant to visit her in the Rehab Center, and is all "doom and gloom" about her prospects. The surgeon says she can probably walk again with therapy and a good attitude. I notice she is depressed and upset because my Dad seems to have "written her off." Shall I attempt to get a psychriatic evaluation for her? Get her some anti-depresants? What have others done when this has happened??

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asolo

My mom broke her hip last summer at age 94. Required surgery and pinning to fix it plus rehab but she's fine. They do this kind of thing all the time. Depending on nature of the injury and characteristics of the patient, they can replace, pin, secure in other ways, or do nothing.

Rehab works....for those that do it. Those that don't or won't have much worse outcomes.

Sounds like your mom's doing OK. However, you need to straighten your dad out pronto. He's got entirely the wrong idea. Straighten the people out first. Then see about anti-depressants. You can't medicate a bad marriage. Not saying that's what you've got, but your dad's attitude as you've described it is all wrong.

    Bookmark   June 2, 2008 at 8:26PM
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asolo

The rehab folks will probably tell you...the period of time you're in now....beginning of rehab.....is typcially as bad as it gets. If things are going to seem terrible, this is the time they'll seem that way. I suspect by this time next week it will seem entirely different to all involved. By three weeks, you'll all be wondering what the excitement was about. If your mom's healthy otherwise, she'll be fine....as in walking-fine. Your Dr. and the rehab folks have seen LOTS of this. They know what they're talking about.

    Bookmark   June 2, 2008 at 8:31PM
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lindac

"Way back when" a broken hip was a death sentence for an elderly person. Not so anymore. Remind your dad that there are new ways of dealing with such things now.
Linda C

    Bookmark   June 2, 2008 at 10:26PM
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agnespuffin

Remember that people in that age bracket have probably been faced with looking at the fact that they are, in a sense, living on borrowed time. They often feel that The End can happen at any time, in any way. They have seen too many of their friends die or end up so fragile that they can't take care of themselves. It's hard for him to ignore what life has already taught him.

It sounds as if he has made up his mind that this is it for her and he's preparing himself for the end. The elderly think differently about such things. He has to understand that she NEEDS to see him, that she is worried about HIM and needs his support.

You are going to have to convince him that IF she were to get pneumonia (the usual death causing problem) it would have already happened. Now the important thing is to get her moving as much as possible. That's going to be his job! She will need his encouragement to do the best with her rehab program.

    Bookmark   June 3, 2008 at 6:44AM
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