Open heart surgery
Hi, I'm new to this forum but what I've read so far has been extremely helpful. Sometimes I feel so alone and it's good to know there are others out there dealing with exactly the same issues as I am.
My mother is about to have open heart surgery. Her heart is extremely weak and we never thought she'd be strong enough for this. However, she has an 80% blockage in her left circumflex artery that can't be fixed any other way. Because of her age, 66, her doctors feel a bypass is the best thing for her.
She suffers from very bad osteo and rhuematoid arthritis. It's worst in her hands, feet and knees. She's still walking but barely. She needs knee replacements but unless her heart becomes stronger, she won't be able to have them. She currently lives in an independent/assisted living facility and is living in the independent section so she isn't getting much help from the staff. This is her choice. I currently see her once a week to do her shopping, take her to doctor appointments, do some cleaning, pay her bills set up her medication for the week or whatever else she needs. At times, I do see her more than one a week. I work a full time job but I work 4 10 hour days so I always have an extra day off during the week.
My mother has never been a happy woman. Like many other daughters out there, I have a mother who can't be pleased. She's been this way my entire life. The negativity that radiates from her can be overwhelming at times, especially now that she is in poor health. I love my mother and always will. I want the best for her and I'll always do whatever I can to make sure she is taken care of. I'm her care giver, her companion, her protector, her advocate. But, sadly, I don't like her and I get no joy from being with her.
My brother and his wife moved 2000 miles away several years ago, my father died 6 years ago and I'm the only person she has left in her life.
I'm worried about getting through this surgery and recovery period. I'm worried about her well being as well as my own sanity.
Does anyone have advice on dealing with the recovery from such a surgery? What kind of issues can I expect her to have? What sort of time commitment should I prepare myself for to help her? How do I help a woman who is never happy to begin with get through the recovery period of such an invasive surgery? And, how do I face the next several years of doing a job that I don't like or enjoy doing?