I am a 35 yr old wife and mother living in ohio. My mother moved in with us 6 weeks ago. She has diabetes, rectal cancer, fibromyalgia, and schizophrenia. After six weeks of living with her, I know this is not going to work. A little background info... My mother didn't raise me, my grandparents and the state did. When I was 13 she decided to take me from my grandparents home and within 2 years the state took me because she was leaving me home alone while she was in mental hospitals for 30 days at a time or more. Now I am an adult, and I try to think I am over all that. She is my mother and she needs me. She lived 3 hours away from me, and was not getting the proper care. The caregiver the state provided her was stealing from her, and her doctors were, I thought, not doing all they could for her. I hated it that when she had surgery or appointments, I couldn't be there. So I convinced her to move here. I thought she would be here a couple of weeks and then have her own apartment (she applied to this place a few weeks before moving in), I thought I could help take care of her. So I moved her in (temporarily i thought) with me.
Now I am completely overwhelmed. My husband works seven days a week anyway to make ends meet. I stay home to take care of my family (we have three teenagers, a cat, a dog, and mom). The first two weeks she was here, I tried to keep the house clean, then I just gave up. She brought everything she owned with her, and she goes through box after box of her stuff, handing me things "for us to use". I have a huge farm house, but because of this, i am out of room! She drags everything out of her box, and then gets too tired to clean it up! She was supposed to be sleeping in an upstairs room, but "her legs won't let her go up those stairs". We don't have any bedrooms she can use downstairs, so she sleeps on the sofa. She sleeps all day and is up all night! She won't listen to a word I say, contributes very little to the household financailly, and now has started thinking she can discipline MY CHILDREN! My husband is having panic attacks because there isn't enough money to pay the bills now, and he doesn't want to come home because she gets on his nerves so bad. She makes mess after mess and leaves it for us to clean. (for example, we went away to a wedding yesterday, and when we got home she had made "dog treats" which she didn't make correctly and they fell apart... she left the kitchen a complete mess, and i just got it cleaned up this afternoon)... when anyone is doing anything besides paying attention to her, she finds a way to get their attention. if i am on my pc, every 15-20 minutes i hear "Michele, when you get a break can you come here?" she's in the next room, and could easily just say what she needs, but I have to come in there, sit down with her, and have a conversation about whatever inane thing she decided she needs to talk about! I know that sounds cruel, but i'm at the end of my rope right now! i would have her put in a home, but they say she is competant. And she is! she just has this desperate need for attention! She makes her physical problems out to be alot worse than they are, just to get people to feel sorry for her. i have gotten to the point i have just shut down, and now stay on my pc 24/7 just trying to escape. The house could fall down around me and i really wouldn't care. I can't confront her about anything, because she starts crying and saying things like she will just move into a homeless shelter! I've had it and don't know what to do!
Sorry, I just had to get it out.... There really isn't anyone I can talk to about all this.