Assisted vs NH

ginnierJune 9, 2008

Anyone know the questions asked to decide which place to put a person? My folks are getting close to the next step. Mom is physically weaker and Dad is having Alzheimer's issues. Don't know which to look at...right now their in Indep. living.

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Not all nursing homes are set up to have couples stay together. Your mother may or may not be able to accept being separated from him at night. Can you ask her?

The problem is that if you place them in an assisted living home now, there is that chance that very shortly one of them would need additional care and it would mean another upsetting move. If you do decide on assisted living, try to get one with a nursing home and/or dementia wing in the same facility.

    Bookmark   June 9, 2008 at 1:36PM
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If you live in a large city, check the small towns near your city for a care homes and assisted living homes.

    Bookmark   June 9, 2008 at 2:06PM
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Agnespuffin is right. Many assisted living facilities have dementia or memory care wings. My mom has lived in two different assisted living facilities and made friends in both places with someone whose spouse was housed in the memory care unit. Usually the AL spouse would go over to the memory unit to visit and/or take meals and then return to AL for sleeping. A nearby assisted living facility not only has a dementia unit but also a skilled nursing unit. Check out what's available.

    Bookmark   June 9, 2008 at 6:48PM
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I have visited 3 AL and I was surprised how different the atmosphere was in each one. They all have NH or AZU nearby, so that was good news. You're right, my mom does not want to leave my dad...she says it would kill him, but I KNOW that it would hurt HER to be alone (even tho she knows that he is the one with alz.). I also talked to a gal that runs a very small home for the elderly and she was so sweet, she said we work with the people to get them back on the right schedule for sleeping nights instead of being up all night like dad is--and then he sleeps in his chair or wherever all day! I want to hear that someone "will work with them to help them". The bigger AL places have the gorgeous buildings and commons areas but I didn't get that gorgeous feeling IN the rooms that my parents would live. I don't know if they need to move yet, but it sure is a struggle for them where they are now, but I am beginning to see that the struggle is going to be there as long as they are there and ...together. Mom doesn't seem to want to accept any help from the CNA's where they are do how can I think that she will if they move from IL to AL????

    Bookmark   June 9, 2008 at 8:34PM
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I hate to say it, but the truth is that at some time in the future, she WILL have to accept help from the CNA whether she likes it or not. Time passes and it has the dreadful habit of taking mobility with it.

The problem with the small homes is that they are not usually staffed to provide intensive care should it be needed. Then you are faced with having to make another move.

It would be great if we could see the future and know which would be best. Until then, you just have to take a chance on what feels best to you.

    Bookmark   June 9, 2008 at 9:29PM
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The care home my husband was in had a married couple down the hall. I thought that was so neat. Of course if it might not be for every couple.

    Bookmark   June 9, 2008 at 11:04PM
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Both of them are good. But then you should check personally if the nursing home or the assisted living facility practices a high standard of senior care. My aunt had been living in Simi Valley assisted living facility and we are satisfied with their services.

Here is a link that might be useful: Simi Valley Assisted living

    Bookmark   July 28, 2011 at 9:24PM
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Assisted living is very expensive. If you can afford that see if you can find one that has a care home also and if it accepts medicaid. The move would not be so traumatic if they needed more care later.

    Bookmark   July 28, 2011 at 10:08PM
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