Geriatric Specialist?

ginnierJune 19, 2007

My dad is exhibiting more and more dementia issues, but he is still dressing himself and feeding himself. He's not all here mentally; he's so quiet and almost grumpy. Sorta withdrawn. I really think Mom nags at him and altho she's trying to snap him out of it by being insistent or even sharp, she's possibly making feel badly about himself. Her way of helping him in the past is not working these days. They are both discouraged. So I called the Alzheimer's Assoc. and had a gal come out and talk to mom and I at Mom's independent living complex. Altho the gal was very supportive of whatever we are doing now, she really encouraged getting a geriatric specialist involved to assess Dad (and I'm going to get Mom assessed too, cuz she sorta lives in her own world sometimes). Now that we have received the info packet from the gs, I'm thinking here we go again. All the questions about history and capabilities.... Is it worth it? Part of me thinks that this is just going to bring it home to Dad what he can and cannot do... but maybe I'm scared that I'll find out the worst... Or that Mom will go despondent on me when she finds out that nothing is going to change for the Better, and SHE has to be the strong one... Gibberish, I know...

Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

Difficult to deal with a problem if you're unable/unwilling to acknowledge what it is. Maybe there's nothing to be done. Maybe there are things available that would help out. I'd vote for finding out and taking a new look from there.

    Bookmark   June 19, 2007 at 11:19AM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

Maybe call the geriatric specialist's office and ask for some tips. The drugs for early dementia are a real help, and worth making the effort.

Your difficult situation is another manifestation of the great difficulty we have with shifting roles from child to parent. Think of what you would do for a child in a similar situation. Yes, your parents are not children and deserve to be treated with all respect and dignity. It's a tough conundrum, I know. Do what's best for your folks, and continue to be an advocate for them. You are doing a great job!

    Bookmark   June 19, 2007 at 11:39AM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

It's difficult to know just what is the best thing to do.
I know that for my husband, it was just getting him to accept that he was no longer in his 50s and could not work out in the heat like the used to. Nor was he as strong. Finally, an emergency trip to the hospital got through to him that he had to take it easy.

Should someone have stepped in earlier and had his physical condition evaluated? I doubt that it would have helped one bit.

And so it is with mental/dementia problems. Sometimes it's the right thing to do. Other times, it just makes matter worse. I think that when the day comes that a person has to admit that things aren't like they were, it is really rough on some. Others have prepared themselves and are ready to accept the age.

Just do what you can and try to get your mother to see that things have changed. And she must accept that there are going to be major changes in her relationship with her husband.

    Bookmark   February 19, 2012 at 1:44PM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

Agnes, this thread got spammed by someone who dredged up a 5 year old thread.

    Bookmark   February 19, 2012 at 2:00PM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

Oh shucks!! And I am one of those that always remind people to look at the date on the original post.

I did look at the link. It refers to Geriatric Rehabilitation specialist. I had to wonder, How do you rehabilitate a 90 yr old? Will he be able to earn a living? Maybe feel as physically fit as he did when he was 87? Maybe, if it's a woman, she will remarry and start a family?

We all need to recognise that at some point we will be ELDERY and our lives will be different. I wonder about these young women that spend so much time (and money) on getting just the right make-up and skin care. Will they ever be satisfied with a natural look? Wrinkles and all!!!

    Bookmark   February 19, 2012 at 2:55PM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

You have more courage than I, to even click on the link. It could be a fake, or have other ads like some of the fake blogs, etc., some of which even pay the fake blogger to drive traffic to their sites.

Geriatric rehabilitation???? Well, if one needs rehab, like after surgery or a stroke or disease, that's usually handled by physical and occupational therapists.

Yes, it's going to be interesting to see how some of the younger people age. In real life, you can't airbrush a face like in a picture. Which is why some famous people who have had a lot of surgery tend to drop out of view as they age, a couple of notable actresses come to mind. They look ok in pictures (gee, doesn't she look good?) but on live TV, tend to look like positively odd.

    Bookmark   February 19, 2012 at 4:05PM
Sign Up to comment
More Discussions
I hope on this day you aren't doing all the prep for...
CA Kate
New to caregivers forum...
Hi, folks... I have been a Gardenweb member for eons,...
Do you ever have a day that just goes well?
Today was one of those days. I was at mom's to get...
Canadian pharmacy??
My mom's prescription has just gone "off label"...
Medicare and Fully Electric Hospital Beds
I have a prescription from my mom's doctor for a fully...
© 2015 Houzz Inc. Houzz® The new way to design your home™