Need Input about grandmother ( long)
I've been lurking here recently ( wish i'd realized this forum was here earlier), as I have been caring for my grandparents the last 3 years. We lost my gramps last week after a rapid decline over the last few months and now I am at a point where I really need to re-evaluate where my gramma needs to be. I am working on getting her on hospice due to failure to thrive ( as was my gramps) and keep her from going back to the hospital ( my main goal) because she is tired of hospitals and doesn't want all of that anymore. She has dementia, but can still be cognisant of the basics of what is going on. Both of her children are gone as is her husband of 70 years and quality of life physically is practically nil. I really want to try and keep her in familiar surroundings with the staff and caregivers she knows ( I have sitters come and stay with her at night), but I am afraid that may not be enough at this point since her dementia continues to get worse...add depression and add anxiety issues and being alone and it gets dicey. I cannot be there all of the time and I myself have grown very weary. the last few months have really taken it's toll on me. ( I know I am preaching to the choir here).
So....I am struggling to make the right decision for her. Do I keep her where she is, familiar and comfortable on hospice ( eval not passed yet) where she still won't have continual care, or move her ( very stressful and unfamiliar) to a facility that deals specifically with dementia? Money is an issue as I don't have a whole lot left to keep her going and her income is now cut in half. My thoughts at this point are try and stay put and see if she lasts long and if we can make it work, but I am second guessing myself. I want her to be safe, but I also want familiar. I know that can be very important with dementia.
Any input is greatly received. While I have a little help from other cousins, basically, i am it when it comes to making sure she has what she needs etc.