MIL with Paraphrenia
My husband and I need some advice. We are in our late 30s dealing with his ailing parents. The are only in their late 50s and do not want to give up their independence. We live 1/2 way across the country so dealing with their healthcare issues is becomming impossible.
We are working on helping them sell their home. This has been mostly encouragement and advice since they live in one of the worst markets in the U.S. and it's practically impossible to sell. There is no way for them to move without the house sold as my husband and I, nor can they, afford to pay a second mortgage or rent. Father-in-law has not been helpful in this matter although my Mother-in-law would fly out to us tomorrow if she could.
Health issues are many. FIL has a serious case of Lupus and is on dialysis 3x per week and has recently been placed on a kidney transplant list. MIL has heart problems and we fear now, has Paraphrenia (adult onset schizophrenia). Thus the immediate problem: we need to get her to a doctor to be diagnosed because quite a simple medication plan can help her immensely (she has audio and visual hallucinations of persecution which is now involving the police).
We plan on flying out to see them very soon. How do we get her to a doctor, with my husband accompanying her, if she doesn't want to go? She won't even tell us if she has a general practitioner. Is this even a choice we can make? All the information about Paraphrenia suggests being very honest with the patient and not 'tricking' them - but if my FIL is even ignoring the problem and contributing to her belief in her hallucinations, how can we even begin to help?
We are preparing for the fact that they will have to move in with us, unless we can find a state/low-income financed retirement apartment. There's simply no funds for any other type of care. My husband is also going to ask my FIL for power of attorney in case one or both of them is incapacitated.
This whole situation is snowballing so quickly and we are feeling very overwhelmed and under-prepared...