still trying to take care of mom - and smile. NOT.
Hi all Â
Well, it certainly has been a long time since IÂve posted. How time flies Â sometimes even when youÂre not having fun. This is what IÂve been doing Â..
I have had a very difficult year with my mom. I placed her in what appeared to be the "best" ALF in our area. It has been the best at draining her savings Â thatÂs for sure. Now sheÂs about out of money and IÂm trying to find alternate living for her. Because of her age (65) and high level of functioning, there arenÂt any real good alternatives. What she needs is someone to manage her medications, provide her prepared meals, minimal laundry and give her HEAVY cues on when to bathe and clean her dishes. I researched getting her an apt close to my home but the cost of having a nurse dispense her medications and diabetes management makes it cost prohibitive. (I am her only living relative Â so I would need to hire several services to help with her care.) Fortunately, I did find an ALF that is about $2,700 less than where she is now and her monthly income should almost cover the cost. It is not memory-care, but itÂs the best I can find for her. Thankfully she is not a flight concern and (unfortunately) spends 23 hrs a day on her couch watching TV. She will not use her bed, interact with any other residents or participate in any activities. I did hire a companion for her who visits once a week (though she goes much more often) and they go out for lunch, shopping, etc. This will have to cease soon because there arenÂt the funds to continue! My mom will be very angry about this Â. But I refuse to pay for any of her care out of my own funds. You probably donÂt recall, but she and I have never been close Â as she spent my entire life drinking and being an abusive wife and mother. SheÂs lucky I acknowledge her Â let alone spend hours each week caring for her affairs (including all the responsibilities of caring for her home Â that will need to be sold ASAP). I regard my Guardianship as a second job (and it easily accounts for one with the amount of time I work at it). I try to employ the same standards I do for my primary job in ethics and quality of work. I give it my best Â but not my all. I wish I could visit my mom more Â mostly because I know it would improve the attention she gets in the ALF. But I have set boundaries and know that I cannot contribute any more time or energy now.
What a ride.