Time to lighten up - Laundry Day

mxyplxApril 6, 2014

I finally took over the laundry or most of it. First thing to consider was the washing machine. Lotsa buttons and options. Being of sound body and weak mind I read the instructions. How crass. Next I read the instructions on the gigantic box of Tide dominating the laundry room these last several years. Even crasser.

Why? Couple reasons. SW was making an all day job of it by washing many small loads generating vast quantities of foam with each load (dipped out 1/2 cup at a time) and using way too much water (drowth concern). That's 3 reasons. One load would be my scivvies, next load hers, then her socks (10 pairs) etc. After alll the things I've done to that woman with zero resistance and total cooperation our undies cannot enter the same wash. Lotsa loads - lotsa water - lotsa foam.

Now the foam. Ongoing for years. We do not have a HE machine nor HE detergent. I deduced she was using too much detergent. Had her down to 1 teaspoonfull per load. Still much foam. She put the soap on top of the load. Book says put it in first. So I put it in first. No foam. But the box scoop shows about 1 cup for a load. Book says follow instructions on box. Box says follow instructions in book. Well! So I put in one cup next load - no foam. Hmmm.

Shout. She was squirting Shout all over everything. Me no use Shout. No foam. Problem solved. I was vaguely aware the Shout refill bottle got empty fairly often but, having a successful marriage, let that sleeping dog lay. (lay? lie? ..let lie that sleeping dog?)

Next I exersized my male perogative and simplified the process wholesale. ONE LOAD! I chose the Big Giant option. Took an hour.

We hang the clothes out to dry, probly 50% of the people in town that do that, so she gets to do that. I, however, remove the stuff from the machine and stack it in the basket and carry it out to the lines. Otherwise she removes some and distributes it in piles around the house in preparation for hanging outside then forgets some of it. Anyway my way gets it hung up by 9:00am. Hers got the last out by 3pm -too late.

Ironing. She loves to iron. Can't manage the steam iron anymore. So she has reverted to sprinkling the ironing. For the younger readers this involves squirting or throwing water on the stuff to be ironed - a pre steam iron tactic. Now dig this. She won't take anyting off the line till it is bone dry. Then sprinkles it till it is saturated, rolls it up to stay wet then saves all the stuff to iron next day. Persuing the illogic of this is fruitless, of course, nevertheless it's amusing to try.

When I get the chance I grab the sheets off the line, fold em up and put em away. That leaves a minimum of ironing but which satisfies her. Somehow she hasn't caught on that the sheets are missing.

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HAH! You sound like a sweetheart. Thanks for the belly laugh!

    Bookmark   April 6, 2014 at 6:44PM
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CA Kate

LOL! I'm glad you can find the humor in everyday things.

    Bookmark   April 6, 2014 at 8:32PM
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"After all the things I've done to that woman with zero resistance and total cooperation our undies cannot enter the same wash."

Maybe washing her undies with yours is where she draws the line... ;)

Thanks for the laugh!

    Bookmark   April 7, 2014 at 2:19AM
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Very funny! And what a loving husband you are to take up the laundry reins with such good humour.
But, seriously, I would recommend keeping darks to one load and lights to another. Tiny fluff can transfer in the wash and be a real pain to get off- white fluff on dark clothes and vice versa. Also I have found that if some of DH's black socks get into a load with my white undies, it dyes all the elastic light grey, which I don't care for.

    Bookmark   April 7, 2014 at 8:38AM
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If I was close enough to notice off color panty elastic I'd be awfully nervous. MAN would I be nervous!

This post was edited by mxyplx on Tue, Apr 8, 14 at 11:10

    Bookmark   April 8, 2014 at 11:04AM
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My husband never, ever helped me with laundry. I remember once, we were living in an apartment with no washer. I took our sheets to his Mom's house, she had volunteered to wash them for us. They came back clean,dry but reeking of chlorine bleach. I felt insulted she thought our sheets were so dirty they needed huge amounts of bleach. After that, I never let her do our laundry.

    Bookmark   April 24, 2014 at 9:43AM
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mxyplx - funny story and you will probably have a heart attack when you learn that I do my laundry (there is only me living in this house) in three loads; sheets and towels is the first, daily wear around the house/yard (currently shorts and tee shirts) is the second and my nicer clothes (shopping, doctor visit, church, eating out, etc PLUS undies) is the third load. Yes I could probably cut it down to two loads but each of the above loads is dealt with in a different manner.

For the most part, I don't iron anything (but I use a clothes dryer and many things are hung up just before they are totally dry).

I am currently taking a vacation from caregiving - my 100 yr old Dad just moved to assisted living, and the new baby is due in November.

    Bookmark   April 30, 2014 at 12:09AM
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Lint! You want lint? I'll tell you about lint. Yesterday I put 5 small rugs into the washing machine and took out 4.

    Bookmark   May 10, 2014 at 9:41PM
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