I am still trying to take care of mother and work too. Things are really tough emotionally right now. Yesterday when I came home she was trying to leave the house to go see her mother (who has been gone for over 45 years). It is very hard to convince her otherwise when she is like that. Now today she is lying in her bed just as calm as can be. At work I go crazy trying to figure out what is the best thing to do for her (and me). Everyone (at work and on here) thinks I should put her in a nursing home. I too think that would be best for her and everyone else. But it is still so hard to think of doing that. Of course, my family is content for things to go on as they are Â with me taking care of her Â but they have no idea what a toll it is taking on me. I donÂt remember my own parents taking care of any elders in their families except for a few short weeks at a time.
I now know that I will never recover emotionally from what I have been through these past three years. I have always thought there would be some light at the end of the tunnel. But I know now that there isnÂt going to be any. If it is, it will be an oncoming train. I have given up. My parents always lived life with such hope and cheer. Why am I not allowed to live the same way? There are no answers to these questions.
I realize others are struggling also with the same issues (or worse) but this is one of the few places I have to vent. Thanks for listening. Pearl.