This past week I reached the point of total exhaustion. I went and had a talk with my brother explaining to him how tired I was and that I just couldn't do it any more. We made a decision after a rather unpleasant discussion to put Mother in a nursing home. I don't see any other way. I would give anything to keep her at home. That may be selfish on my part. I don't know. But the emotional roller coaster I am on right now is unbelievable. One minute I am thinking maybe I should do this and the next minute I am thinking maybe I should do that. I see I made a BIG, BIG, BIG mistake by never taking any breaks and getting any rest in the three years that I have been taking care of Mother. It made it too easy for my relatives and now they don't understand why I am as upset as I am. I pushed myself too hard.
Even after everybody in the world tells us to take care of ourselves, it is still up to us to do it. No one can do it for us. And I just haven't done it and now I am reaping what I have sown, health wise and in my relationship with relatives over this.
A lesson learned too late.