Grandmother in hospital 3 wks & Mom is worn out.

SHERRIBNCMarch 15, 2005

My grandmother has bone cancer. She has been battling it for over 2 years. Drs say it came from breast cancer that she had over 15 years ago. Tumors are compressing some of her spine, so they gave her radiation. In doing so, they burnt her throat. SHe had to go into the hosptial because she could not eat. That was almost 3 weeks ago. My mother is at the hosptial all the time. SHe is worn out. Grandmother will not stay alone for one minute. My brother and I try to help out as much as possible but I have a small child and work full time and my brother lives out of town. Mother has a brother and a sister but all we hear is "we have to work"

My mother has alot of medical problems herself. I have tried to explain to Mother that you are just going to have to stay home some and rest. I am afraid when it gets to "the end" that she is going to be in the hospital herself and want be able to be with grandmother.

Grandmother does not have any failing organs, she just is very week and can't eat. They are giving her nutrition by IVs. I understand that Grandmother could be like this for a long time. I pray everyday for strenght for my family.

I seems that Grandmother does not get any worse but she does not get any better either. I just worry that Mother is going to collapse, but every time Grandmother starts to cry she will stay.

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after my dad had been in the hospital for two weeks, I called up my brother, and gave him what for. his wife did drop by that weekend(they weren't 10 minutes away, visiting her folks) but no brother...

however, several of my friends, and the parents of another friend DID stop in for visits. brought cookies for the nurses, tea for my mom, little stuff- but it makes a world of difference.

if your mom's idiot relatives can't be bothered to get to the hospital- maybe at least someone can arrange to, oh, have mom's house cleaned, or a meal dropped off, so she doesn't have to do EVERYTHING herself?

as to collapsing- it's a possibility, but we're also far tougher than we give ourselves credit for, and emotional support can take the place of rest for months, if need be.

    Bookmark   March 15, 2005 at 11:10AM
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Hi sherri and china and welcome to the forum! I can appreciate your concern for your mother, sherri. My family was very concerned about me when I wouldn't leave my mother when she was in the hospital. This appears to be what your mother is choosing to do... Keep praying for God to give her and your family strength. He is the One Who carried my mother and me through our tough times... May God bless and comfort you and touch your precious grandmother and mother. ~abreeze

    Bookmark   March 15, 2005 at 10:40PM
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SHERRIBNC, how is it going with your mother and grandmother? Has your mom been able to get any help from anyone? I hope things have improved in some slight way...

    Bookmark   March 25, 2005 at 6:34PM
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March 31 will be 5 weeks. Grandmother did have one bad day last Tuesday, her fever was 104.5 (that is not a typo) I thought her brain was cooking! It took for ever for them to get her some tynenol. Then when she did get it 2 hours later it was huge pills that she could not swallow so then they sent back for liquid. That was bad I did not like seeing her that way. After she got the medicine, she was fine. She has some conjestion now, but no pneumonia no other change except she is just weeker. I stayed Sunday night. She was up every 30 to 45 min. from the bed , to chair, to potty. Around 3:30 to 4:30 am she did sleep or I guess I did and just did not hear her. Mama came in at around 11:30 am to change the shift. She had my son with her because school is out this week so for me to stay she had to keep him. I took my son home who is 9 so he is no trouble at all. I fell on the couch at 12:30 and did not wake up until 5:00 because I had to potty. I told Mama this morning that she is just going to have to leave her some times. THis is not living for either Grandmother or Mama. Mama's sister did stay some last week but It does not help much. The sister works, she will get to the hosptal around 9:00 or 10:00 pm and Mama has to be back at 7:00 am so the sister can go to work. So then Mama stays all of that day and night until someone else can stay. I told Mama she needs to get tuff with Grandma, the only thing the nurses have to do is give her drugs. We give Grandmother her bath, change her sheets, get her ice, drink, get her to the potty, etc. SHe will not eat so she can not go home and the Dr said unless the insurance starts to make waves she will not go home unless she starts to eat.

    Bookmark   March 29, 2005 at 9:14AM
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Grandmother is coming home today!!!!! She is eating on her own, walking etc. Hospice will start coming when she gets home. That was the longest 38 days I have every seen. My heart goes out to families that stay for months and months in the hospital. People forget you when you have been in there for a long time. At first you have vists but then they taper off. I have learned to be more aware of other peoples health problems and realize that even little things like plate of food even means alot.

    Bookmark   April 5, 2005 at 12:19PM
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I'm glad everything is going better for you...I hope your Mom will be able to get the rest she needs now. I'm sure you are needing some rest also. Please let us know how things progress...

    Bookmark   April 5, 2005 at 6:57PM
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