My mother had stroke, what are choices for care (long)
My mother is 85 and had a "bleeding out" stroke 7 weeks ago, she recovered from the surgery and went to a re-hab facility for 1 month. I live 4 hours away in another state and visit regularly. The Dr. wanted her to go to a nursing home for 1-2 months, but she and her long term live in significant other argued against it and she moved back into the house. They are not married and he does not have power of attorney. I have nothing against him, he is a good person, but he has very low vision and he cannot take care of her as well as they thought. She is also diabetic.
He and I had a long talk tonight and he is very upset that she may have to go into a home, probably not short term either. She is having problems with vision in one eye and cannot remember certain words, although her sentences make sense other than that. But it is hard to tell if she has lost more ability than that mentally. She is having trouble controlling her urine and bowel movements, and i am sure she is not showering even with the bench in the tub. She has fallen 2 times since she has been back home for a week. And she absolutely is against going in a nursing home She says it is "like sending a dog to the pound to die". She had hip replacement 2 years ago and ended up in a nursing home that really was a dump and then to a better place but checked herself out in 1-2 days.
What are the choices for her care?
I wouldn't have any problem with her having people come into house but it is small and no extra bed room for someone to stay. I am not sure of that caregiver situation costs and what her financial resources are (maybe $170,000) bank account and home.
Nursing homes, she really doesn't want to go. What happens if she refuses to go? Can a Dr. force her to go? Will the nursing home take all of her money & house? Would it be possible for signicant other to stay at the house. I don't know anything about medicare rules and regulations.
I'd like people to be happy but now it seems impossible. He is worried that she will fall and be injured or worse. She won't go into a home willingly.