What do I do now?
My family was small to begin with, (mom, my brother and me) we all lived together after finding mom had cancer and I was in a debilitating acident and couldn't work and 10yrs. has flown by. Me and my brother were taking care of mom through her cancer and other problems diabetes, arthritus and spinal decompression.
My brother had 1st stage cirrohsis but had stopped drinking 2 years back but he a;so had a spinal chord injury and needed help on physical things. So we all worked together to help 1 another until mom also got dementia and started having alot of mini-strokes which were heartbreaking to witness. We finally found a good nursing home for her and she seemed to accept it without any problem. Mom never complained about anything and after our weekly visit of playing cards out in the garden we got the call early the next morning she's passed in her sleep.
This paralyzed me and my brother because she seemed in such good spirits that day. Well after about 4mths. I had to get my brother to the hospital emergency room, seems his cirrohsis reached 2 more stages and he was referred to Hopkins for transplant testing. My brother was refused a listing because he had too many other things wrong with him and they didn't think he would recover but Hopkins never sent a letter stating this so I don't even know if my brother knew or not. But all I know is we were constantly waiting to hear from them and calling them everyday leaving voicemail messages. Well after being released from another hospital after 30days he was home for only a week and everything seemed fine and he suddenly lost motor skills and went into coma. That's when I foundout from Hopkins they had rejected him and he passed away 2wks. later never coming out of his coma.
I had been caring for mom for about 3yrs. and then for my brother another 3yrs. all in all while caring for myself that was my life for close to 10yrs. They also helped care for me when I couldn't walk after my accident but I ended up with sever nerve damage joint degeneration among other things but I can walk with kane. My problem is now I am alone with no-one to look after and going through depression from grief. Even though I am in a weekly Griefshare group it only helps while attending. I feel lost and out of place at home and pretty much the same way when I go out and this has been like this for over 4mths. since my brother Michael passed this past October. He was 58, I am 54 and mom was 84.. Obviously me and my brother were very close since our dad passed back in 66 and I just haven't been able to find another center for my life since I was caregiving for the past 8 or so years. Keep in mind I can't just go out and get a job because of my limited physical ability, before all this I was a carpenter, my brother and I had a remodeling business, then we subcontracted together until he got too weak to handle it and then later I had my disabling accident in 97.
Has anybody been through anything like this? Or does anybody have any ideas on what to do? Sorry for how long this post is but I tried to make it as short as I could.