Independant/Assisted Living VS Living at home
I have been reading the threads on this forum, in hopes of trying to find help and or support with my similar situation. Like many of you, I have 2 elderly parents, both still alive. My mother no longer wants to stay in their spacious home, and my father who is an extremely difficult man, doesn't want to move. I plan on getting Power of Attorney, in case I need to make decisions for both of them, based on their needs. My Uncle didn't want to leave his home either and was found dead in his home, after a 3 week silence, when the neighbors took note that perhaps something could have happened.
Is this what one wants for their loved ones? I keep telling my mom (and dad for that matter), that they can sell their now worth, million dollar home, and move into an independent apartment with utilities paid, and have the comfort of a gated community, no property taxes, gardeners, cleaners, care-givers, etc to pay for. Honestly, it wears on myself and my siblings, knowing they don't need that extra large home. My father on the other hand is a cross between Jackie Gleason and Fred Flintstone. He screams when he talks, the neighbors are not fond of him, he treats everyone, basically crappy, and he will be my biggest problem of all, if he survives my mother, because he will not want to move out of that home, and I will not move in.
To paint a better picture, my mom was an immigrant. Here almost 50 years later, her English has not improved. She never drove a car, can not take a bus more than 5 miles without feeling like she is in a foreign country. She doesn't have Dementia, she and her sisters have always had this 'fuse' missing, and I could never figure it out, growing up. My father on the other hand, is a Diabetic, blind in one eye, drives locally only. He won't be able to drive in the next 2 years, and I do help them out alot, as I live a few miles away. This is where the Power of Attorney comes in, because the DMV refuses to talk to me about my father when they send him his yearly information to re-take his driving test. Grrhh!!
Anyone else in this situation? Really, after reviewing the retirement facilities that resemble home without the headache, I honestly don't see why one would want to stay at home only for someone else to discover their dead bodies. Hate to be so, to the point, but we can't ignore reality! Our parents really become a burden for us, and I believe there comes a time when we have to make the decisions for them, and hopefully it won't be with force.