mother of the groom

hamsterAugust 4, 2008

As a soon to be mother of the please.

The bridesmaids are wearing black dresses(picking their own-not matching).

Would it be okay if I wore a black dress also? I was all set to go and someone mentioned that I would look too much like the bridesmaids.

I think proper etiqutte is to see what the mother of the bride is wearing first, but I have a feeling she will dress in a much older style than I care to, so following her lead doesn't interest me.

I know I am supposed to "wear beige and keep my mouth shut"!

Mouth shut is do able but beige? not so much. LOL

Opinions please.

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I wore a black dress to my DD's wedding, a navy to YDS and dark green to ODS...I didn't ask anyone, and noone asked me :^)...As long as the dress you choose is not LIKE one of the bridesmaids, I would say go in what makes you comfortable and let everyone else be jealous!

    Bookmark   August 4, 2008 at 4:49PM
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I don't think a black dress is appropriate for the Mother of the Groom to wear to a wedding. I know people do it, but I think it looks very bad (and I know at least some others agree with me). Granted, you aren't dressing for me; you are dressing for yourself but you asked for opinions.

Pick your vice:

1) Black is for mourning; it looks like you are against the wedding
2) You have no knowlegde of proper wedding ettiquette attire
3) A combination of the two -- you're just tacky

That's how I would view a mother in black. It's not classy; just the opposite, IMO.

If you're trying to be chic, I hear grey is the new black (or at least it was last year). Maybe something in a silvery-grey or light grey color would look nice.

If you can't do black, some lighter shades of blue may also look good with the wedding colors. I hear purples are coming in too. If the wedding is in the fall, you may be able to easily pull off a burgundy colored dress.

Here is a link that might be useful: Grey Example

    Bookmark   August 4, 2008 at 6:11PM
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Boy, that's a tough one. Is there another color involved in the color theme that could give you a clue? You could wear a black and white print or black and white patterned weave, perhaps? Is it a daytime wedding or evening wedding?

    Bookmark   August 5, 2008 at 9:26AM
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hamster're killin' me! LOL
My other son got married thanksgiving weekend and I wore a 2 piece black. Slim skirt-small sequined top. Very festive.
This will be a May 30 4pm -sorta outdoors pavillion on the banks of the Mississippi River. It is built so that guests can spew outside easily. Dinner and dance so it will end @ midnight. The other wedding colors are pastel green and yellow. It is more of a casual setting.
I don't think a green or yellow dress interests me. Maybe black isn't such a great idea. Black and white could be "springy"?? I think the trick is to wear something that will go easily from afternoon to evening. Keep the ideas coming!

    Bookmark   August 5, 2008 at 12:48PM
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How about another darker colour, perhaps a burgundy, navy, or hunter green? What colours do you look good in/prefer?

Honestly, I wouldn't worry too much about the colour, so long as it's not too crazy (no vivid, bright colours and certainly not white) and the style of the dress is appropriate.

    Bookmark   August 5, 2008 at 3:44PM
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I don't know... I guess I didn't take my wedding so seriously. Ok, the bridesmaids are wearing black to an outdoor May wedding... the other colors are pastel green and yellow... (These colors aren't going to be worn with the black dresses?) I'm guessing the pastel green and yellow mean the flowers or the tableclothes, centerpieces, cake icing, or something, right???? And, it's probably just me, but I probably wouldn't try to match my dress to the decorations anyway. Plus, I really can't think of any color that compliments black, pastel green and yellow... maybe dark green? I attached another link with some dresses in the purple family that I think would look nice for a May wedding. The heck with the color of the program ink or party favors.

Seriously, stay away from white, black and anything too bright and you should be fine. There are tons of Mother of the Bride and Groom dress sites to give you ideas. If it's a 4:00 wedding, generally dress for the evening... the formality of the dress will depend on the wedding.

Here is a link that might be useful: Mother of the Groom

    Bookmark   August 6, 2008 at 1:42AM
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Hamster, I agree that black is not appropriate for the mother of the bride or groom to wear. I understand your frustration in trying to find something that you feel good in and doesn't look like a typical mother dress. My daughter is getting married in 5 weeks and I have a beautiful black dress that fits me well (Im fluffy) an I would have felt comfortable in but black just isn't right. I ended up getting a chocolate brown which happens to be her accent color and although I love the black one I would feel out of place in it. I agree that gray would work well especially in the pictures with the bridesmaides in black. Most dresses are light pastels which just feel old and dated but gray (platinum) seemed to be pretty available when I was looking and might work for you. Good luck. Satine

    Bookmark   August 6, 2008 at 3:50PM
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My mother wore a black suit to my wedding. The wedding was small and held a few days before Christmas. She asked if I minded. I know she loathes shopping and already owned the suit. I was just pleased she decided to show up and wear stockings for a few hours. She wore a pretty silk print dress in shades of blue to my sister's wedding. Sis was far more dictatorial than I am and forbade the black suit or anything with black in it. On the other hand the mother of the groom, her MIL to be, wore a floor length black skirt with a royal blue sequined top to my sister's wedding. It was held late morning in Tucson in November. Yeah, we were baffled, too.

I hope my children elope...

    Bookmark   August 6, 2008 at 11:35PM
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Here's a way to "wear beige and keep your mouth shut" and look fashionable while doing it.

I wore this to our daughter's wedding this year and got lots of compliments on the outfit. It was comfortable and didn't wrinkle.

Here is a link that might be useful: Wedding outfit

    Bookmark   August 12, 2008 at 10:20PM
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My son got married a few months ago. Their colors were red and black. The bridesmaids wore identical black wrap dresses (which looked good on all of them). I asked the bride if she had a preference about what I wore and she said no. I wore a long black skirt with a blue jacket that had some black beads on it. The bride's mother wore a long black dress. She certainly wasn't mistaken for a bridesmaid. My sister-in-law wore black at her daughter's wedding and a friend is wearing black at her son's wedding next month. I think as long as the bride doesn't object, a black dress is fine.

    Bookmark   August 22, 2008 at 8:35PM
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Hamster, not for nothing.. LOL Wear what suits you. If you are really concerned, talk it over with the bride & groom... but I wouldn't worry about anyone else unless you want to be confused.

The rules change so often almost anything goes..... Black is not tacky or tasteless.... Now a days folk wear bright colors to funerals at the request of the decease's family.

I wish you all the best on this most joyous occasion!

See pic - I have NO idea who this mother is... but she seems to be enjoying herself & her son for their Mother/Groom Dance.... Have fun!

Here is a link that might be useful:

    Bookmark   August 23, 2008 at 1:12PM
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I was mother of the groom last month and wore "light hazelnut" looked beigey to me but the dress was stunning, I had help in advance with makeup colors for the dress and my hair looked great. Honestly, when I was escorted to the beginning of the aisle, there were audible gasps-of the good kind! I've never had so many compliments.

I will admit that being Mother of the Groom felt awkward to's funny to put so much time into trying to look great AND being invisible! It also dawned on me that I was about to have the unwelcomed and infamous role and title of Mother In Law cast upon me and couldn't do anything about it. Oh, well.

Best Wishes to you no matter what you wear! I do think it's how you FEEL you look that makes the difference. I found a dress I loved and thought I looked stunning in it. I felt like I was as pretty as I could be and felt good about myself.

    Bookmark   August 27, 2008 at 3:09PM
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