My poor sister in law

jannieDecember 22, 2005

My sister in law just moved into a new apartment. Actually it's an illegal two-family home. She rents downstairs and the landlady (a single woman) lives upstairs. Pat is extremely shy,unable to speak up and be assertive. But she constantly complains to me. The day she moved in, the landlady yelled at the movers and told them not to scratch the floors with their boots. She told Pat not to put the thermostat up high, and to only use cold water for clothes washing. She calls Pat daily to complain about things like a window left open,or an empty garbage can left out by the curb. Also, she apparently goes into the apartment while Pat is at work. She has noticed doors unlocked and things moved around. The landlady frequently brings her leftover food down and offers it to Pat. To be nice, Pat accepts the food sweetly but then throws it out. I told her to tell the woman she is on a special diet for medical reaseons and can't eat anything not allowed. Does anyone have any suggestions? Does this landlady sound cuckoo to you? I've never met her,but I speak to Pat daily and it's upsetting her.

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Pat needs to take an assertiveness training class! Does she pay for half of the utilities? If so, tell her to wash her clothes in whatever temp. she wants! Also, the landlord is breaking the law by entering Pat's apartment without at least a 24 hour notice. (At least in CA). As for the food, she needs to straighten her spine and simply say, "Thank you, but NO thank you." The landlord sounds like a bored, old lady who simply has too much time on her hands, but unless Pat speaks up nothing will change.

    Bookmark   December 23, 2005 at 8:03AM
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Are you sure that lady doesnt have a twin over here in Brooklyn, lol.
Tell Pat to move. Really, a bigger apt unit is better.
Anytime there is a little apt in a big house you have to deal with this kind of stuff. The lady is probably bored and has nothing to do but pick things apt. Telling someone what temp to wash clothes in is ridiculous. I think I would have had to laugh at that.
But, living like that is not good, your friend should not have to endure complaints everyday. Oh, can I tell you stories about bored old women.......but my problem has passed away a few years ago.......

She will have to be assertive but not mean, you dont wanna cause hard feelings. But start saving and get out.

    Bookmark   December 23, 2005 at 9:11AM
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Thanks for the encouragement. Pat vents to me,and I vented to you. I told her she has plenty of good reasons. For two more reasons, the rent is high and it's 45 minutes away from her job. A new place closer to work is what she needs! By the way, a funny thing. When she was moving in, the lady yelled at the moving men. One of them later said to Pat "I can see we'll be back in a few months when you move out." Ha Ha.

    Bookmark   December 23, 2005 at 2:58PM
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that should have been her first clue when the LL yelled at the movers.
I wish her luck if finding a better place to live.

    Bookmark   December 27, 2005 at 9:28AM
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