Ambivalent about moving?

maidmarionOctober 23, 2004

Sorry, this is long:(..I have to move, I know that. I have given my notice and I gave the new place my deposit and I'm all set to move in a week...the thing is....well. Here are my reasons to move or not to move.

reasons not to move:

1. I have a townhouse-and it feels like a home because there is no one below or above me, just only on the two side walls and wall behind me.

2. The townhouse is brand new-no one has ever lived here except me. The appliances are new and the kitchen is large and spacious with a center island and the floor is Pergo.

3. We have three bedrooms-but, my two boys share a room, so we only use two.

3. Kids love the town here--have very good friends that they hate to leave.

Reasons to move:

1. The management has a vendetta against me here. They will not renew my lease. They have gotten complaints, but I have explained it's from one person who I've had to fight in court once and will have to face in court again--she's lost the first time. She has been the ONLY one to complain and I've been living here 16 months. They will keep me on a lease to lease-that's the best they can do according to management. They say they have been scared because she had her attorney send them a threatening letter due to the supposed noise coming from my apartment.

2. I HATE going up the three levels of stairs in my townhouse. The bedrooms are on the top level and the washer and dryer is on the bottom level--my legs constantly ache from the stairs. I would like to transfer to a one level apt here, but they are making it hard for me.

3. The new place that I'm going to has beach weather year round. No more 100d. temps in the summer--I absolutely HATE the weather 6 months out of a year where I'm presently at.

4. I'm going to a ground floor one level apt. with brand new carpet and new paint. But, I guess I will have to deal with neighbors living above me, if they are noisy, and I dont' have to deal with that in the townhouse. But, there is other kinds of disturbances--in particular, one neighbor directly across from me who comes out on his balcony and harks and spits at all hours of the night and morning. Management will not do anything about him, despite numerous complaints. This is due, no doubt to the fact, that the manager wants me out.

Any opinions from anyone on what you would do in my situation?

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When I pointed out to the manager that I've only had problems with ONE person out of 16 months of living here, her response was: "You're a good tenant;you've always paid your rent on time. We've (her and other leasing staff) never personally observed anything going on at your apartment. I'm sorry, I know you're a single mother trying to raise two kids. And it's not personal, but we don't have to give you a reason for not renewing your lease."

I have to add that she gave me a really good reference for this new apt. But from the look that she gave me when I saw her, I know it was because she wants me to leave.

    Bookmark   October 24, 2004 at 12:01AM
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:) you're moving... you're supposed to be ambivilent. it's a lot like graduating- you're glad to be out of there, but you don't know that you're not walking into something that's just a bigger version of your first week as a freshman (and we all remember how scary that was)

take pictures. lots of pictures. and notes- if you're friends with neighbors, have them write something in the notebook as well. get the boys into it as well- get addresses of people to send postcards to from your new home...

and know that, simply by being human, you're one of the most adaptable creations that god ever thought up, and you and yours will do just fine-

and that you're better off without the place you are- since it's not the building, as much as the people in it, that make a home- and it sounds like you have a bunch of real cowards running your old place.

    Bookmark   October 25, 2004 at 10:12AM
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I'm w/ chinacat--the ambivalence is totally normal, and expected, etc.

I love her point that you're an adaptable creation--that's a beautiful paragraph.

Good luck at your new place--be sure to introduce yourself (since most people don't), and be friendly to your upstairs neighbors (and all the other ones). That'll help you w/ noise, etc., because 1) they'll already like you when you nicely ask them to turn their TV down a bit; and 2) you'll already like them when you hear it!

    Bookmark   October 25, 2004 at 11:53AM
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I also wanted to say, I think that w/ two boys, you might find yourself glad to be on the ground floor. I have 2 kids in an apartment bldg w/ thin floors, and I never mind the ordinary noises (and the occasional extraordinary ones) from the folks upstairs (some because I like them to start w/, and some because, hey, the floors are thin, what are they gonna do?)

But I really mind having to be on my kids' case about running, and dropping stuff, or toys that make noise on the floor. I hate worrying about how much noise *I* make. I find I can ignore almost any noise my upstairs neighbors make.

    Bookmark   October 25, 2004 at 11:55AM
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Chinacat and Tallysue, thanks for the comforting words, I really appreciate them:) China, yes, the management here are cowards and worse. I guess I'm extra anxious because I'm not just moving out of the townhouse I'm in, but the whole area as well (actually, moving an hour away). In your post you said, "it's not the building that makes a home." That really hit home because I'm moving because I don't like the area (climate), so I really can't concentrate on how nice the building is here. It's nice, but if I can't stand the weather the building dosen't mean much.

Also feel I have to move because of management. It's not good to know you are not wanted somewhere. If I wasn't going to move from the area, I would have to move from this building sooner or later I suppose.

Then I'm worried about the kids leaving their friends. But, nothing is set in stone. I am getting a nine month lease, and if it dosen't work for us, I can always move back here or wherever I want.

    Bookmark   October 26, 2004 at 4:38PM
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you're only an hour away- and I'll be there's SOMETHING half-way, even if it's only a mall, eh? and there are phones and emails- my parents haven't budged in 50 years- but that's meant that I'm the one who's always been moved away from. I know the kids are going to be bummed, and the middle of the year's not the best time to move, but you know what happens when you spare your kids as much trauma as you can? they never learn to deal with trauma, and the outside world comes as a nasty shock to them later in life...

but here- you can borrow my home karma- it's somewhere between immaculate, and miraculous, and will help smooth over any bumps you meet on the way :)

    Bookmark   October 27, 2004 at 11:35AM
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