bosnian neighbors

organiccarolineAugust 26, 2006


I have a very unique problem that is new to me. Well, here's my story: My 3 yr old and I recently moved into a new apt after my ex and i split. It just so happens that the apt complex that i moved into has a very large Bosnian community and they all seem to be more or less related in some way or another. At first i thought it was kind of cool because i like multiculturalism plus they have a lot of children two of whom are my daughters age. Not long after i moved in my mother sent me a package...well, the married man with pregnant wife and child took my package and then came knocking on my door at 7 am. He gave me some song and dance about the mailman needing a signature and that at first the mailman didn't want to leave that package with him etc. and so forth. Long story short, this was a ploy to get my telephone number which i stupidly gave to him. He also insisted that i have Bosnian coffee with him and me not wanting to be rude let him and he served me Bosnian coffee, it was weird and kind of uncomfortable but i stupidly thought he was being weird but neighborly. As the day progressed I forgot about the strange am and was a bit perplexed when i got a text message.... I texted back and with "who are you?" and then my weird neighbor called and said "hi". Long story short, again: I finally realized that he was hitting on me. He asked me to phone him later on that night and i asked why and he just said call me. I never did and when i received a text from him i texted back and said, " I don't understand your intentions, i want to be friends with both you and your wife, not just you." He text back saying, "OK, don't understand me wrong." I think that's Bosnian for back peddling.

Now here's my dilemma: I think he is spreading rumors about me to the rest of the Bosnian community. a)I'm getting leered at b) My daughter and I are getting snubbed by the women. c) I get the feeling that one of the children are strictly forbidden to even talk to my daughter and me and d) ever since the five yr old's bike got stolen it's been worse. I spoke to the apt manager about this and she told me to file a police report in case something else were to happen but the Bosnians are good tenants they are family oriented and quiet and they clean the building....I don't know what to do, I feel pretty lousy about all of this especially since I haven't done anything.... Does anyone have any ideas??? Thank you for listening.

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You are running smack into a cultural clash, especially if they are Muslim Bosnians. And I bet the women don't speak much English - they might want to talk, but can't.

To a Muslim man, a woman without a man to protect her is:
1. Fair game
2. Obviously a tramp

Your best strategy is to find a WOMAN or a CHILD who can speak some English and offer some English help for anyone who needs it ... the fastest way to break through is to give them a way to communicate.

If you have never taught before, don't worry. Point and say and teach them the basic nouns and verbs.

    Bookmark   August 27, 2006 at 2:50PM
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Perhaps you could find out what church they go to and attend a service. Have a chat with the church leader. He might have a solution to help stop this nonsense before it gets any further out of hand.

lazygardens is right. In some ethnic circles a woman alone is fair game. Can you have friends or family over to visit more often? It would be nice if you could befriend at least one of the bosnian women and arrange frequent play dates for your children together. This might dispel some rumors.

    Bookmark   September 4, 2006 at 2:39PM
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