angry ignorant neighbors downstairs?

veggieturnoverAugust 22, 2011

My husband 3 year old daughter, and 8 month old have been living here for 9 months and the neighbors who have been living below us since before we moved in have not been able to adjust to our noise.

When I first realized the neighbors downstairs were possibly banging AT us, I made them apple turnovers and took them downstairs with my husband and daughter and apologized for the noise in hopes that if they indeed were banging at us they would be a little understanding and would also see that i had another baby on the way (very big belly of mine). The girl of the couple was polite and mentioned some of the noise bothered her fiancee, but told us not to worry about it at all, smiles and everything. But the banging soon started back up.

They bang our floors about every other day in the middle of the day or evening when my children are of course most active. They bang when my 8 month old is bouncing in his bouncer, or when my 3 year old daughter is dancing or if she just skirts around. Many times this has scared her.

I've complained to the office a total of 4 times about the banging but nothing has been done. I've gone down and knocked on their door to talk to them personally with an intention to try to be polite and even apologize, but the few times I have tried, no on has answered their door even when it had only been just minutes after they banged. I mean at times it just gets ridiculous, they would bang steady and consistently about 20 times. Like its become a side thought for them now.

I'm not quite sure what they want me to do? Do they want me to put weights on my daughters feet so that she cannot run around her own home? I feel like a horrible mom as it is yelling at her to stop running since it is in every toddler's nature to run around. So I try my best to get my daughter to tiptoe like a mouse. But this is not possible to do all day long. I don't understand the nerve of these people. It's been 9 months and I am surprised I have been able to turn my cheek for so long.

I must confess, they did it again at a very bad time for me today as I had just been up to *here* with the kids and chores when I was trying my best to cool down while trying to get the kitchen clean, and then I have to hear it from the people downstairs again... I could NOT resist any longer; I banged back very hard (for the FIRST time) twice which of course was retaliated with more banging from them.

It's offensive every single time no matter how much i try to ignore it. I have to lie to my daughter and tell her they are fixing something downstairs.

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My husband has actually run into the guy in the parking lot and has apologized for our daughter a couple of times and both times the guy said "it really isnt a problem, my fiancee gets more annoyed" There were times that I went downstairs seriously P.Oed after they actually had followed my daughters footsteps banging along her trail, which frightened her. I mean this is just F*cked up isnt it?? the banging is loud enough to startle me, let alone a 3 year old!

    Bookmark   August 22, 2011 at 9:36PM
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Perhaps you would understand if you were the one living below a noisy person such as yourself.

Your husband apologized for your daughter and then you let the daughter offend the neighbors again by letting her make noise?

    Bookmark   August 23, 2011 at 4:04PM
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I'm going to be blunt here. Neither side in this matter seems to be dealing with the situation well. Remember, I don't know you or your neighbors and can only work with the information you have given us in your posts.

I will also say that living below small, running children is hard--they make a lot of noise, and it can be very bothersome. If they are banging on their ceiling in the middle of the day, it most likely means that the noise is loud enough to interrupt their regular activities.

The downstairs people won't admit to your face that they are upset with the noise--they keep saying it's the other person who is upset. It's a shame they won't come to the door and discuss the matter--you all might be able to work something out if you could only talk about it.

But on the other hand, veggieturnover, you don't mention a single thing that you have done to reduce the noise level coming from your apartment, other than that you sometimes try to get your daughter to tiptoe, but you admit that you can't do that all the time.

You're complaining to the office. I'll bet they are too.

Ideally, you should ask the office if you could move to a bottom floor apartment. Then your kids could run around as much as they wanted to. It would take a lot of stress off you and the kids.

If that's not possible, you can do some things to reduce the noise that is traveling through your floor.

1. No shoes on in the house. Especially on the kids.

2. Add soundproofing to the floors. Nothing fancy, just some area rugs and padding underneath them to block the footfall sounds. Even if you have wall-to-wall carpeting, put some area rugs down over it in the areas where your daughter runs the most--the hallway perhaps, and the living room or wherever she plays the most.

3. Get the kids outside the home daily to run around somewhere where their noise won't be noticed--a playground, a mall play area, a kids' gym. If the kids are tired out from running around outside, they may run a little less indoors.

4. Set "Quiet Hours," even if your lease doesn't require them. Say from 8 pm to 8 am, during which time your entire family tries to be as quiet as possible, even the adults. Carry your daughter around if that's what it takes.

5. Go to the office. Explain that you are aware that your downstairs neighbors are unhappy with your child's walking/running. Explain the steps you have taken to reduce the noise and ask if they have any other tips you can use. They have dealt with this problem before and might have some suggestions.

6. If you can't talk to the downstairs people to explain what you are doing, write them a polite note, in which you admit that your family makes some noise. Then list the steps you are taking to reduce that noise.

Sometimes landlords don't address problems like this. They just don't renew the leases of problem tenants. Based on the description you have given, you sound like a problem tenant. If you want to stay in that apartment for a second year, try to get along with your neighbors.

    Bookmark   August 24, 2011 at 8:31AM
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WOW, camlan GREAT advice.

I had a little dog above me in my last apartment, and would never had thought such a small dog would make as much noise as it did.

Thank goodness it usually quit by the time I went to bed.

Nother good thing, I moved. :)


    Bookmark   August 24, 2011 at 10:25PM
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