just an observation

funkillAugust 9, 2004

I usually interact on the Home Decor forum and just accidentally clicked on this one today. Since the "Subject" of several posts was somewhat intriguing, I read a little  thinking IÂd just stroll down memory lane for a bit. You see, about 6 months ago I started getting overwhelmed with all the maintenance (and associated responsibilities) necessary to upkeep my home. I was considering leasing my home in lieu of renting an apartment again. And, until today, I thought this might alleviate some of my anxieties. I had completely forgotten about the negatives of "sharing walls" - and about having to deal with the people that live behind those walls.

I guess this forum is a place to vent  and should keep that in mind - but wow, some of these posts floor me. I truly feel for you who are dealing with the noise situations and various forms of rudeness from your neighbors. But a couple of these posts are crazy  i.e. a lot of attitude! If I ever share walls again, I hope that I will be a considerate and an understanding neighbor and will TRY to remember that the "outlandish" rules are for the betterment of the community, the noise is a result of basic construction principles and neighborÂs rudeness may be the result of MurphyÂs Law  that IÂll gripe about them on a day that theyÂve just lost their job.

Good day to all of you and keep your chins up  the grass is always greener on the other side (and many of you just reminded me of that)! Back to my grass mowing  which is 114" high and filled with mosquitoÂs.

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talley_sue_nyc

also remember that MOST of the people who post here are the ones who are having problems.

People who don't have problems, don't mention it.

I have almost never had a neighbor who was inconsiderate. Once, I think, and once I got a change to exchange more than 2 sentences with him, things were easier for me.

So there are pleasant neighbors in apartments.

I think the attitude you outlined is a sensible one.

I hear my neighbors walk above me now and then, and I've heard the laughter from their parties, or the music from their instruments or their stereo. Never so loud that I can't ignore it.

When I hear their nosies, it is first filtered through the basic fact that *I wish them well and like them*. This makes it easy to say, "Oh, Lee's having a party, how nice for her" instead of "what are they doing up there, i wish they'd shut up."

There's an unspoken deal I make w/ my neighbors--I refuse to *notice*. I hear, I just don't remember. I think all NYers make this adjustment. Someone can bump into me on the subway, apologize, and get a "what?" in return--I paid so little attention that I don't even REMEMBER that they jostled me. Ditto w/ the ordinary noises my neighbors make. The less I dwell on it in my OWN mind, the less of an impact it has.

    Bookmark   August 10, 2004 at 3:38PM
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motherscothie

Talley Sue, your repsonse to this and other posts I've seen in these forums prompts me to say you are one of the most sensible and likeable people it's ever been my pleasure to encounter since I started posting on message boards 7 years ago. Wish I were one of your neighbors.

If only folks would remember that others have their woes and worries as well. Most people aren't trying to screw over the people in the apartment next to/above/below them. We just all have lives to lead and "stuff" happens.

A bit more patience and tolerance would go a long way to improving the world.

    Bookmark   September 5, 2004 at 9:47PM
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SWeir

Hi, I am new to these boards and I live in an apartment now after having lived in a house for 10 years. I never plan to live in a house again unless the house is my own. I rented a house for the 10 years and never got any maintenance done. Living in the apartment is a wonderful thing, I have all maintenance taken care of, no yard to mess with. I also have three wonderful neighbors and also back to back neighbors. Sure, sometimes the noise level gets high, but I don't complain, but then, no one complains about my dog barking either. So, if you work with the people living around you, it is easy to get along.

    Bookmark   September 7, 2004 at 2:55AM
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talley_sue_nyc

Thanks so much, motherscothie! What a nice compliment!

There are some neighbors who are hard to be reasonable around, and difficult to work with.

I'm lucky not to have been surrounded by them, and not even to have one very close at all. I feel sorry for the folks who are stuck living next to them.

But I also think we get a chance to decide how much to dwell on it.

SWeir, I own my apartment, so I have to do all the maintenance on it myself--remodel the kitchen, figure out how to un-stick the door. It's HARD! Thank goodness I don't have to figure out how to fix the roof, or when to fix the boiler.

I'm on the board, but still, it's a group effort. We contemplate buying a house, and I just cringe at the thought of shoveling snow, doing landscaping, worrying about fences or cats&dogs, fixing the driveway, gutters, oh my goodness, I need a nap!

If you can have a reasonable tolerance all around in your rental building, renting sure is easier!

    Bookmark   September 7, 2004 at 1:00PM
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