my struggle with apartment noise
So as the title indicates, I'm having some problems with noise in my apartment, however contrary to the usual posts I have been labeled as the noise-maker.....
A bit of back story, I first moved out of my house when I was 19. By this time I had already been working full time for a year, saved enough to buy my own car, and enough to put a deposit down on a place to live. I moved into an apartment on the top floor of a three family house and proceeded to have all of my friends over constantly, throw large loud parties all the time, and play my guitars however loud i wanted whenever I wanted. But hey, I was 19 years old, first taste of freedom etc, and beyond that nobody ever seemed to care. In fact my downstairs neighbor (late 20's working professional) quite enjoyed the music and even came to some of the parties. Anyways, two years later that building was sold and all of the tenants moved out.
I moved into a new apartment (in a managed community) and have been there ever since, now going on my third year. I admit, when I first moved in I was still in that loud party mentality since it never failed me before and got off to a rather rocky start with my neighbor. I say neighbor instead of the plural because out of the 3 neighbors I have directly near me, only one has any problems with me. The other two are around my age and have never been bothered by any of my actions. Nor is the offended neighbor a family man or elderly, he is just a run of the mill single, middle aged man. Anyway, I quickly realized that the way I was living was not going to fly in this place and have since toned everything down. I no longer have parties, i don't invite people over anymore, i save the guitars for times when i know he isnt home or on weekend afternoons, and so on and so on. In fact in the past three years I have matured quite a bit and no longer have any desire for a loud environment, I truly just want to live in peace with this guy but it seems though that no matter WHAT i do, it's never enough and he just finds something new to complain about....
First it was I had too many people coming over which I stopped.
Then it was instruments/music which i solved by never turning on my amp.
then it was my acoustic guitar was too loud so i cut back to only a few hours on the weekend
then it was my computer games were too loud so i bought headphones
then it was my television is too loud (which i know for a fact it is not)
Meanwhile, he comes in quite late at night (midnight -1am) and usually proceeds to stamp around upstairs until at least 3am most nghts, sometimes to the point that it actually wakes me up. but when I mention this to the management they just think i'm upset and trying to get revenge and disregard me. Also, I think it's important to mention that not ONCE in three years has this neighbor come downstairs and mentioned any of this to me in person or asked me to turn something down. The only way I know about this is the angry calls i get from the management office every couple months with some new claim of disturbing the peace. But how can I know there's a problem when nobody tells me??? And if I truly am such a disturbance how come I live in a unit with 3 neighbors inside a building with over 20 apartments and only ONE person has a problem with me???
Now he's complained so many times that the management is thinking of evicting me!!! I feel like I'm at my wit's end, I understand people want a reasonable level of peace and quiet in their homes and I'm not some arrogant kid who just wants to party and not care about his neighbors. But this is starting to get insane, I mean why do i pay over a thousand dollars a month for the "privilege" of living somewhere that has the same noise expectations you might expect in a mausoleum??
I suppose what I'm trying to ask is
a) am i really being that unreasonable???
b) how on earth can I live with this guy and still have a pulse??
c) does anyone know of any places to live or resources specifically for younger people or just people who WANT a noise-tolerant place???