creepy neighbour

barnyardbobAugust 16, 2005

I live in an apartment block and my immediate next door neighbour is extremely creepy. from friends and connections i've spoken to, none have anything good to say about him. The other night i heard a knock at the door, and this guy was just standing out there. he stared at me vacantly for ages, before i asked him what it was he wanted. He said that the noise was too loud, which was PATHETIC, since it was only 9.00 p.m, and my radio wasn't even loud. he said he wanted to go to sleep, but i know he only starts work mid-morning.

Still, i turned the music down anyway.

He was hanging around a bench in front of my apartment yesterday, which was not trespassing, but was weird and inappropriate, since he (nor any other people living in the bldg) have done that before.

Worst of all, i've seen him hanging around the local college campus, of which he's NOT a student. Not bad in itself, but the creep came right up to me when i was sitting having a quiet cigarette on a bench on-campus, and sits down. Again, nothing technically illegal or even wrong with that (Though he was trespassing on college property i suppose), and you could accuse me of being alarmist.

But there is something intensely creepy about this dude.

I am an easygoing guy, but this idiot is stirring VIOLENT hatred in me, like I can't remember anyone having done for years, if ever.

After sitting on the bench, i totally ignored him, pretending i hadn't seen him, and went inside the adjacent college library. Later on, he walked into the library, pretending to be a student,sat down at a computer, tried to log on to the system, and, obviously, couldn't! So he walked out the library.

This fellow has the demeanour of a stalker or something! Good friends of mine run a hostel which he stayed in for a time, and he was by all accounts an antisocial and inconsiderate tenant there. Another friend of mine works in a cafe this guy frequented and told me that my neighbour was always rude and annoying when visiting the cafe. So by my own experience and those of trusted friends who have no need to lie about this, the guy is a Class-A jackass. Even the landlord finds him odd, but cant really, or doesnt want to, do anything about it.

According to conflict resolution principles, you should try and communicate with such people and work things out amicably, but there is no chance of that happening because the guy seems moderately demented,totally drug-f**ked and is absolutely disgusting. I don't want to talk to him!

The guy is also a total whining sleaze- AFTER I turned the radio down, he still whined to the landlord the next day about me! does anyone know what the hell this moron's problem is and what i should do about it? I should able to keep a radio in my own apartment, and even turn it up a little OCCASSIONALLY. There are no noisy appliances in the apt either, and i dont even have a TV.My other neighbours, upstairs, are frequently noisy, but it doesn't bother me and I dont cry like a baby over it. After all, some noise is to be expected in apartments. Right?

So Tell me, before i get frustrated and petrol-bomb the creep's room!

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chinacat_sunflower

uhm-

last time I checked, being weird, having poor social skills, or just being 'creepy' was only illegal if you're in high school.

however, fire bombing someone's apartment for any reason is, and suggesting it makes you look like a macho drunk at best, George Bush at worst, and certainly worse than said wingnut, who sounds offensive, but hasn't actually hurt anything more important than the carpet.

have you considered

1) simply not tolerating him? listening to your radio at a reasonable level, and when he comes knocking at your door, suggest he stop trying to sleep with his ear to the wall?

2) reporting him to the campus police, since the LAST thing they want is a creepy looking dude wandering around bothering people- when he's not a paying customer.

of course, the guy you're describing sounds suspiciously like a well known professor at UC Berkeley, so you never know ;)

    Bookmark   August 18, 2005 at 1:21PM
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Susan_StM

I agree with chinacat... He may be rude and annoying, and possible mentally ill, but it doesn't sound like he's doing anything threatening, dangerous, or illegal. By all means, address any specific concerns with your landlord, but it's really not a crime to be "moderately demented,totally drug-f**ked and absolutely disgusting", as you so nicely put it.

You are letting HIM push YOUR buttons. Calm down. Ignore him. Have as little to do with him as possible. If you don't like him, just ignore him. If he comes to your door and doesn't speak, simply close the door. If he asks you to turn down the music, don't converse, just calmly close the door and turn the music down 1 notch if you feel like it (or don't.)

Don't you use your peephole before answering the door? If you see it's him, feel free not to open the door. Don't have a peephole? Now THAT'S something to discuss with your landlord.

If he sits down on a bench where you are sitting and you don't like it, get up and walk away. You don't owe him an explanation (nor do you own the bench), and conversation and confrontation will simply prolong these encounters that you seem to find so difficult to deal with.

I can't see why you think you have to apply conflict resolution principles to communicate with him and work things out amicably. What's to work out? You don't like him. Big deal. Welcome to the big wide world that's full of people not to like. Frankly, with the way you have come completely uncorked over this, I would be more concerned if I were the other guy and had to deal with YOUR weird vibes.

    Bookmark   August 18, 2005 at 4:24PM
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hbw248

I got an idea.....how about MOVING!!

    Bookmark   August 18, 2005 at 5:39PM
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chinacat_sunflower

hbw- oh, come on-

if he's living in a place that caters to the mentally unstable... where's he gonna go? ;)

    Bookmark   August 19, 2005 at 10:17AM
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barnyardbob

Yes I agree with chinacat's (First) post, and Susan's. Maybe I did overreact, but of course I was being sarcastic when discussing the possibilities of firebombing his room. Of course I wouldn't do such a thing! After all, his room is right next to mine!!
The guy swore at me through the window the other night, and he is a total a-hole, but what can you do?
Moderately...disgusting is an accurate description. At least I'm honest! I will just ignore him. Such are the bonuses of apartment living eh?

    Bookmark   September 1, 2005 at 2:35AM
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talley_sue_nyc

there are similar bonuses to homeownership--people have next-door neighbors in houses who are like that.

It's the bonus of being a human, living among other humans.

the only part of this that is truly apartment-specific is the "complaining to the landlord" business--just be sure that you've communicated your own "reasonableness" to the landlord, as a form of self-defense, so that you don't end up being forced to move out of your apartment on terms not of your choosing. If he comes and tells you to turn the noise down, and it's already down, then call the landlord right away and say, "I had a weird request from this guy; I just want you to know that it was 9pm and my stereo was set low enough that I could talk on the phone through it."

Or something.

    Bookmark   September 1, 2005 at 12:30PM
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