apartment living after 38 years of marriage

OklaMoniJune 28, 2011

It's tough. In this complex all people walk up and down the stairs without greeting anyone... get in their cars and drive off. Or, go in their apartments and shut the door. Just don't talk to anyone....

I would like to get to know a neighbor or two.

What's your best idea for that?

Moni

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camlan

Start greeting them on the stairs and in the hallways. After that, make remarks about the weather or the local sports team or whatever is generally known in your area. Smile. Ask their names. Or ask where a good pizza place is in the neighborhood or the best lattes or where to do your laundry.

From the title of your post, I'm not sure if you are recently divorced or recently moved from a house to an apartment or both. Could you clarify that?

But don't count on finding a best friend in your apartment building. I've always tried to maintain a friendly relationship with my neighbors. Or as I joke about it, "If they heard screams coming from my place, the least they'd do is pick up the phone and dial 911." In other words, pleasant and friendly, but not necessarily drop-by-any-time-friends.

Just like people who live in houses, some people will be very friendly back. And some won't. And some will be in-between. I've had people living next door whose names I did not know. And I've found a best friend right next door--but that only happened once.

Look for friends both in your building and outside. Try the library. Try local parks. Say "Hi!" to people you see. Chat up folks at the laundromat and bus stop.

Honestly, you'll be lucky if you find one good friend in your building. But you might find several people who will be acquaintances or at least friendly. And you might meet more people through them.

    Bookmark   June 29, 2011 at 12:08PM
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OklaMoni

camlan, it is both.

And I do have friends... I just wish, people here would be more open, talk, and say "hi".

Moni

    Bookmark   July 1, 2011 at 7:25AM
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xakeridi

I don't think it's odd that busy people heading to work or an activity or just home after a long day, who don't know you, aren't going out of their way to greet you. Making friends takes time and some common interest. i have lived in my current apartment for 2 years. I talk to 2 people--one who has a dog who ran up to me one day to play and one who leaves for work at the same time i do. I would find it creepy if all of a sudden strangers wanted to talk to me out of the blue.

    Bookmark   July 4, 2011 at 2:25AM
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Nirvana9

It's like that in my apartment building and I find it really sad. There's only 21 apartments as well so it's not like I'm in a huge block of flats.

However, it's just the way the world is today. The 'community' ethos of years gone by is becoming rarer and rarer.

I'd love my neighbours to strike up a chat though. The most we ever say is 'hello'. Usually it's just a smile...

    Bookmark   August 9, 2011 at 9:29AM
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marge727

People are sometimes hesitant to get involved with a neighbor who could later turn out to be a real pain who would want to drop by a lot. I have lived in apartments where the next door neighbors got into fights and would want to involve others in the battle, or come over to talk about it.

    Bookmark   September 15, 2011 at 6:38AM
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Jon_1

I'm 58 years old. Three years after a 30-years marriage went bust, I found myself living alone for the first time in my life. I moved into an apartment in a less then desirable neighborhood, after leaving a beautiful home. I did't stay there very long and found myself a better, and more expensive apartment, which I really loved. But I felt I wanted to own. I didn't need a house, so I bought a condo and I've been living here for a little over two years. They call this a place a "resort" but it's a far cry from my idea of a resort. Nevertheless, it has become home for me and I enjoy my own place.

    Bookmark   October 7, 2011 at 7:42AM
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