Noise Question

strykazoidMay 22, 2012

Okay, I've searched ALL over the net but can't find anyone with my situation. I moved in with my boyfriend a little over a year ago and the noise is not my neighbors, but my boyfriend. He plays loud video games, yells at them when he isn't doing good, and INSISTED on having his surround sound system in the apartment, despite my disagreeing. I, on the other hand, know for a fact that neighbors do exist and if it was up to me, I wouldn't be doing any of this. The problem with the boyfriend is that he just refuses to quiet down. He will get loud, like I said before, yelling at his video games and his computer. If I ask him to quiet down all he does is keep yelling at me, telling me WHY he is mad. I keep trying to get him to quiet down, but it never ends...he just KEEPS yelling. Or I get from him, WHY DO YOU KEEP TELLING ME TO BE QUIET?! I tell him that one of these days the cops will show up and we will get kicked out...he doesn't care, just keeps on yelling and telling me he is not being loud! Also, with the TV, the subwoofer of course shakes the whole house. I will ask him to turn the TV down a little, and he does, but 5 minutes later he sneaks the remote and turns it right back up. I'm getting tired of trying to put up with this, and the neighbors haven't, surprisingly, complained yet, he says hes talked to them and they told him they can't hear anything, likewise with the landlord who runs a store below us. But I was not present during either of these conversations so I don't know if hes just pulling my leg or not. I don't know if he has a hearing problem or not but I am afraid someone will come pounding on the door or call the cops on us and then we will be kicked out. First of all, I wanted to know: If I actually talk to the landlord about his loudness MYSELF, will that put anything over on me because it affects OUR lease? And 2: If nothing can be done, would the landlord be willing to break the lease for me at least so that I can move out and leave this loud moron living by himself? I'm pretty sure I am going to have to leave this man before I get in trouble with him, even though it isn't me at all! Thanks. Any help would be appreciated. No relationship advice, please.

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I am thinking that you might not get many responses. You don't have to live like a monk in an apartment but some basic human courtesy is a good idea.
I might get chastised for saying this...but your last sentence is why no one wants to touch this post.

    Bookmark   May 23, 2012 at 9:03PM
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This isn't an apartment issue, it's a relationship issue. Try iVillage.

If you want apartment advice alone, you need to read your lease about noise issues. You might also want to consult whatever local laws cover landlord tenant relationships. If your boyfriend's noise is making living in your untenable, then your landlord is going to have to get involved. He's not going want to give relationship advice either but more likely is going to toss you both out.

    Bookmark   May 23, 2012 at 9:54PM
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If I got a noise complaint (and I have), it's all occupants that get a verbal and/or written warning. Because I have no idea who in my place is telling the truth or not, sometimes one roommate has thrown another under the bus or even blamed it on a friend that came over. Even if they are telling the truth, I don't much like getting caught up in finger pointing among adults, if even they are young adults. All I know is if neighbors are complaining, it's a problem that lands in my lap (and these are houses). Everyone on the lease is responsible, so it becomes everyone's problem.

On a personal note, I'd definitely suggest a hearing test if you care about this guy (freebies are done in a lot of places, even in some MD offices who bring in an audiologist every so often). Or headphones for him. We had an older relative with a hearing impairment living with us, even with hearing aids the TV was blasted so loud I thought the speakers were going to blow. A good pair of comfortable wireless headphones from Best Buy for about $100 solved that problem and everyone was happy, including the hearing-aid wearer because they weren't straining to hear anymore. Sound quality in them was amazing, too. Only bad thing is if he blasts those with unchecked hearing he's going to harm his ears even more. (I have a couple older relatives with hearing impairments who refuse to wear hearing aids and they do tend to yell their responses sometimes, or at least be louder than typical, I suspect because they can't hear their own voice well. And yes, irritation with conversations is common, they're struggling to filter out background noise while at the same time hear the speaker, which can be an agitation to them, so they can get a little snippy at times.)

Good luck!

    Bookmark   May 27, 2012 at 9:14AM
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First of all, I wanted to know: If I actually talk to the landlord about his loudness MYSELF, will that put anything over on me because it affects OUR lease?

I don't know what you mean by "put anything over on me," but anything that the landlord does is going to apply to both of you. I don't see the point in complaining to the landlord.

And 2: If nothing can be done, would the landlord be willing to break the lease for me at least so that I can move out and leave this loud moron living by himself?

Probably not. You signed the lease together and it is not in the landlord's financial interest to release one of you from responsibility for payment for the apartment.

    Bookmark   May 30, 2012 at 10:29AM
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I had a similar situation.. Ex bf would pound his fist on the computer desk when he was losing a game, and yell yell yell so bad, the downstairs neighbor came up to make sure I wasn't getting beaten. I wasn't, he was just being an immature a$$hole...I just up and left......that was over a year ago. No repercussions.

    Bookmark   July 8, 2012 at 3:41PM
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