Roommate/her boyfriend problem

maryarleneMarch 17, 2010

My roommate and I have been friends for 8 years. At the end of October she calls me and says that she needs help, her babysitter quit and she could not make her bills. I made the decision to quit my job, break my lease and move in with her. The original agreement was that I would watch her kids (she has 3) and mine (I have 2). I would pay half the rent, $100 in utilities and she would cover groceries and give me money if I needed it for incedentals. This was only to be for a month or two until she could find a babysitter. Then I would be able to find a job and go to work. This went on for FOUR months! The electricty and cable would get turned off, we never had food and she would never find a baby sitter or watch my kids for me so I could go look for a job.

At the end of November she moves her boyfriend in with us. He did not have a job, or a car, nor was he contributing in watching her kids so I could find a job. Then in January my roommate loses her job. I then began busting my hump to find job.

I also began picking up some of the slack in the bills. In the middle of February we recieved a notice that she was $1200 behind on the rent (that means that she was not paying her half of the rent the ENTIRE time I was living there, she then had the audacity to ask me to bounce a $1200 check so that we wouldn't get evicted. When I told her no, that is when things began to get uncomfortable.

It has gotten to the point that My kids and myself spend most of out time in the bedroom, I work 15 hours a day, so that is no problem, as I am beat when I get home. But it all came to a head when I got home from work yesterday. We began discussing some of the issues I was having (them throwing my stuff in my room, trying to make me uncomfortable, ect.) her boyfriend then chimed in that he was going to start turning off the power to my bedroom (the breaker box is in their room), and began to threaten me physically, saying that he was going to make my life miserable, saying, "you don't know what is going to happen to you" things of that nature. I then gather my kids and our things and left to stay at my boyfriends parents house.I called the police and filled a "call report". When I got home after work, they had taken all of my dishes, food and other items from around the house and threw them into my bedroom (I have a VERY small room), as well as took all of my childrens things out of the room they share with her children...

My question is this: what are my rights and/or recourse? He is not on the lease, also, any and all agreements were made between her and myself when I moved in... advise! Please!

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Are you on the lease?

    Bookmark   March 18, 2010 at 5:04AM
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Are you on drugs? Sorry, but to have quit your job(!!!) and break your own lease (on which I presume you had good credit), for a roommate who is not e.g. your ailing mother or love of your life, and put your children's future at risk, just sounds nuts. I don't know why you're still putting up with what's happening (read my first sentence again) but you should get help to fix your thinking or lack of assertiveness. I don't usually write horrible notes like this, but really, you can't be serious!

    Bookmark   March 19, 2010 at 1:17PM
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I agree with larke. The only advice i can offer is don't get into these situations in the first place. Especially breaking your lease to move in with her. Now you'll have trouble moving out. Also, as she is your friend, i presume you knew her character and should have been able to tell this was bad from the start. -especially if this was such a close friend you were willing to break a lease-

Only thing i can offer is go back with a large friend and get your salvageable things out as quickly as possible. Maybe leave your roommate a note going over what happened, maybe she'll see the error in her ways. Other than that... maybe you could seek legal action but for what? a few broken dishes and an ambiguous threat? you probably wouldn't get much satisfaction from it and it would probably cost you, if not money then time. Just shed them, change your number, explain to your kids that's not good behavior and don't think about it anymore.

    Bookmark   March 22, 2010 at 8:24AM
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Is this not an EXCELLENT example for the benefits of birth control??

You clearly should NOT have had children, you can't even support yourself, nevermind support and properly raise your children.

You've put your children into a horrible and dangerous situation.

    Bookmark   March 28, 2010 at 1:50PM
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You have the right to get the heck out of that living arrangement and the responsibility to chalk it up as a major learing experience. I bet(hope) you never do something like that again.....

This is what happens when you don't get anything in sriting. I'd make my MOTHER sign an agreement, any true friend would agree to it.

    Bookmark   March 30, 2010 at 2:01PM
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